Wealthy Brits Install Spikes on Trees to Stop Birds Pooping on Their Expensive Cars

[DeadlyDuo]

Why don't the rich gits just not park their cars under trees?

 

[Ethan Reigns]

For a number of years, we spent our vacations at Fern Resort where there was a small menagerie for the entertainment of children and parents alike. One morning before 7 AM, we were awakened by shotgun blasts. A mink had invaded and killed the peacock and eaten its brain. Honestly, mink are like zombies, they kill an animal but only eat the brain. One of the workers killed the mink.

 

[brinkster130]

wild peacocks! that would be cool. I always wanted to kill and eat a canadian goose but i for real would capture me a peacock. That be a cool ass pet yo!

Only if you could train it, so it wouldn't attack you.

 

[Skanky Vamp]

well they got cock fight. peacock fighting could tots be a thing. I never seen one. I just never thought they would be like walking around all laissez faire and what not. Do they poop on your car too?

 

[November]

But are they good? They taste like chicken? Goose taste good.

I dont know! They seem too pretty to eat. More meat on an emu anyway.

Only if you could train it, so it wouldn't attack you.

Aussie peacocks are insecure wimps. No threat. Especially compared to the Cassowary.

 

[brinkster130]

Yes the do. I legit thought a cat had just taken a dump on the roof of my car and it turns out it was a peacock. They're pretty much the same as geese, except some are prettier.

 

[Skanky Vamp]

Yes the do. I legit thought a cat had just taken a dump on the roof of my car and it turns out it was a peacock. They're pretty much the same as geese, except some are prettier.

When I had my wrangler I could never take the tops out at work because of that. I would hate to come out to the car and see that sitting in drivers seat. That for real ruin the day.
Okay this is wrong but how is it prettier? It like sparkle or something?

 

[Ethan Reigns]

This is a peacock.

 

[thrasherpix]

I'm torn between joking about how birds need to learn their place (their songs are about making territorial claims, so essentially their sweet chirps are telling each other--and maybe us--to frack off) to wondering why cars considered that valuable aren't put into garages (though my GUESS would be so they can show it off, like when Giles was eager to show off his new car in season 5).

A car left outside has a lot more to worry about than birds (and I've heard of at least 2 cats killed because they decided to sleep by a wheel under cover while outside, though usually I mean the animals that leave their prints on car as they walk over them, sometimes with muddy paws), and a prized car left outside seems to be inviting car thieves to try to get it as well, either for the car itself or just to troll the owner so proud of it. And branches (especially those that have been messed with as in this case) can also fall off when the wind gets bad enough, and I'd think many would not want a branch full of spikes falling upon their beloved car.

 

[GwenRaiden]

wondering why cars considered that valuable aren't put into garages

Lots of high end housing in cities are flats/apartments, and if they are older buildings with no underground parking, then the only place to park is on the street. You can always tell which streets they are in this city, because they park on the road AND the pavement, as residents fight tooth and nail for parking space.

And branches (especially those that have been messed with as in this case) can also fall off when the wind gets bad enough, and I'd think many would not want a branch full of spikes falling upon their beloved car.

Or their beloved big heads. You'd think spikes on branches would be like, a really big health and safety risk. Seems so dumb.

 

[Buffy Summers]

Yeah, I mean, what happens when a branch comes down in a storm?

 

[November]

Yeah, I mean, what happens when a branch comes down in a storm?

Sharknado

 

[TriBel]

Just because they have mammary glands they think they are superior to men. False.

To the best of my knowledge, birds don't have mammary glands and very few produce milk. All mammals - female and male - have mammary glands. Females are superior because they mature during puberty.

Edit: apologies - that should, of course, read Female's.
 
@Mr. Pole " bird = woman". I realised that..I can recognize double entendre. 🙂

 

[HowiMetdaSlayer]

Wealthy Brits Install Spikes on Trees to Stop Birds Pooping on Their Expensive Cars

Quoth the Raven "my butt hurts!"

 

[TriBel]

Yeah, I mean, what happens when a branch comes down in a storm?

Evolution? Social Revolution? The withering away of the state? This of course is premised on rich people being under the tree attempting to move their cars. I quite like the irony of nature hitting back. Ideally I'd like the species to band together and for this to happen:

Alternatively, they redistribute wealth like this:

 

[ILLYRIAN]

Twas three nights before Sir Neddy Seagoons birthday on the 32nd of July
that the waters of Loch Lomond transported Spike Milligan and his army of Spikes onto the branches of trees.
Sir Neddy cried out that the Spikes take aim on the pretty cars below.
And lets face it, after you have drunk Loch Lomond dry, you'd best pity them pretty cars below.

 

[November]

I have a better idea. The unhappy could install spikes on the roadside/pavement to deter the cars. Ya know, like they do to deter the homeless.


Why do rich city people need cars exactly? A Personal status symbol pod to deliver them to work daily? Why dont they buy car covers? Or is a dirty car an excuse to upgrade?