What does it mean?

Buffy was in a dark place in S6 and was desparate to feel anything. I think Buffy's attraction started in S6 because that's where she specifically goes to hang around Spike without any reason to. 'After Life' and afterwards.
Also how well did Buffy know Parker before she went and got all passionate with him? About a week or two, not that long really before she gave in to lust/attraction.

I again disagree 🙂 it's different. She had illusions about Parker, it wasn't an one-night stand for her. She was serious. If Parker was a human mass murderer, very unlikely that Buffy would've agreed to go out with him.

As for Spike, she knew exactly who he is, she wanted to keep away but she couldn't resist the temptation. If it was just about 'desperate to feel anything' I am sure she'd have found more than enough volunteers in the bronze who weren't vamps. She wanted Spike, and now with her after-death depression she gave in to the temptation.

And it's not just sexual attraction. she relaxes around him, that's why she seeks him out.
Not just because he is a good listener when he wants to be, but
because he understands her darker side. Buffy is a slayer, she loves a good kill, she quips, she dances. He is also his equal intellectually, the closet nerd 🙂 Riley never asked questions, submitting to authority, Riley, let's face it, was unchallenging and probably even without the crisis of joyce's death that demonstrated that Buffy closing herself off would have given up on Buffy. He told Xander Buffy didn't love him earlier on. She really tried, i think, but couldn't. 'Normal' isn't for Buffy.
 
I again disagree 🙂 it's different. She had illusions about Parker, it wasn't an one-night stand for her. She was serious. If Parker was a human mass murderer, very unlikely that Buffy would've agreed to go out with him.
As for Spike, she knew exactly who he is, she wanted to keep away but she couldn't resist the temptation.

My point was that Buffy slept with Parker shortly after she met him so if Buffy feels something she'll tend to act on it. I never saw Buffy's desire for Spike as some long-buring thing precisly because he was a horrible murderer and she would, had she been in a different place, never given into any of those feelings.
YVMY I guess. I see Season 5 as a time where Spike becomes somebody she trusts, not desires.

If it was just about 'desperate to feel anything' I am sure she'd have found more than enough volunteers in the bronze who weren't vamps. She wanted Spike, and now with her after-death depression she gave in to the temptation.
And it's not just sexual attraction. she relaxes around him, that's why she seeks him out.

Spike understood her situation better than any guy who she could pick up at the Bronze. Plus Buffy knew that Spike loved her and Buffy often mistaskes intimacy/sex with love (she did with Parker and later wuith Satsu- its why she isn't one for get some, get gone) and so she made a mistake ('Smashed') and continued to use that escape because it felt good (except when it didn't).

because he understands her darker side. Buffy is a slayer, she loves a good kill, she quips, she dances.

Eh, the 'connection' is tenuous. Buffy is a slayer, Spike is a vampire- not the same, the opposite actually since the demon in the slayer wants to kill vampires.
The urges are different, they both have thier dark side that is caught up with the violence, but Faith got that years before Spike did- she told Buffy herself often enough and Buffy denied it, because she was in a stronger place emotionally.
In S6 she didn't have that self-control.

Riley, let's face it, was unchallenging and probably even without the crisis of joyce's death that demonstrated that Buffy closing herself off would have given up on Buffy. He told Xander Buffy didn't love him earlier on. She really tried, i think but couldn't. 'Normal' isn't for Buffy.

Maybe, we don't really know. Riley wasn't the last non-vampire for Buffy to find attractive. There's Xander, Satsu and Dowling that came after. I find the whole Buffy can't be with 'normal' to be just a theory put forward by Spike in S5 and 6 (and 10) . The evidence seems to lean far more towards the 'can't be with vampire' thing.

And by the same token if Buffy hadn't been crippled with depression and emotionally numb, she would've never slept with Spike.
 
My point was that Buffy slept with Parker shortly after she met him so if Buffy feels something she'll tend to act on it. I never saw Buffy's desire for Spike as some long-buring thing precisly because he was a horrible murderer and she would, had she been in a different place, never given into any of those feelings.
YVMY I guess. I see Season 5 as a time where Spike becomes somebody she trusts, not desires.
interesting choice of words. you said 'she'd given into those feelings'.
Not having desire is one thing. Not giving in to desire because the guy is bad news is another. We may condemn ourselves about our desires, but i know very few people who can consciously control not having them because of moral considerations 😉
(Faith as Buffy: 'because it's wrong, guys' 😀 )
I find hard to believe she'd suddenly developed desire for him after his resurrection which wasn't there before. She is the same person, only depressed.

Spike understood her situation better than any guy who she could pick up at the Bronze. Plus Buffy knew that Spike loved her and Buffy often mistaskes intimacy/sex with love (she did with Parker and later wuith Satsu- its why she isn't one for get some, get gone) and so she made a mistake ('Smashed') and continued to use that escape because it felt good (except when it didn't).

Eh, the 'connection' is tenuous. Buffy is a slayer, Spike is a vampire- not the same, the opposite actually since the demon in the slayer wants to kill vampires.
The urges are different, they both have thier dark side that is caught up with the violence, but Faith got that years before Spike did- she told Buffy herself often enough and Buffy denied it, because she was in a stronger place emotionally.
In S6 she didn't have that self-control.
yes, she controlled it better than faith, but i think she was in denial about the whole thing. Look at the poor vamps when she is upset. (in that episode with Ted or even when her history professor faced her down about Rasputin)
That girl isn't that controlled. and she surprised even Spike in Smashed/Wreched. he said he'd barely kept up and he had, like 100+ years of experience 😀 besides, demon or vamp - the violence is there. has to be, how else they would do their thing?

Maybe, we don't really know. Riley wasn't the last non-vampire for Buffy to find attractive. There's Xander, Satsu and Dowling that came after. I find the whole Buffy can't be with 'normal' to be just a theory put forward by Spike in S5 and 6 (and 10) . The evidence seems to lean far more towards the 'can't be with vampire' thing.
There was also that Owen guy. so what? finding someone attractive and actually make it work it's two different things. She'd be bored with them in no time and it would end like it ended with Riley.

And by the same token if Buffy hadn't been crippled with depression and emotionally numb, she would've never slept with Spike.

I dunno. now that you convinced me that Buffy is impulsive, i am not sure about that. 😉
Her life is eventful, so that means if something upset her balance as it was in season 6, she could do it. on impulse.


Besides, Spike is popular. They all f#8!@$ go to him all the time, not just Buffy, a regular in his crypt. Giles, until he is rudely told off. He told them a few times he's evil and hates them, and still.
Riley(!) - to ask Spike's advice about Dracula. Even Xander drops in to say that Buffy is invisible and missing.
not to mention Dawn... and we know about Anya's attraction.
poor vamp, never having any alone time. 😀

And they all have these conversations with him, not just Buffy. Riley and Spike after the plastic stake incident? I see two men talking about the women they both love. That's one good dialogue. They're so honest about it all. Xander, telling him about his troubles with Willow and Anya in the Bronze though Spike couldnt care less, he just wanted an update on Buffy.

The scoobies were never had banter like that with Angel, there was always a distance kept in both sides,
which i don't see with Spike even though they shun him and call him names 🙂 i think they keep reminding themselves he's an unworthy vamp, but it's not that easy with his confusing behaviour and they slip a lot, which is hilarious.
 
gite63
gite63
"they slip a lot" - Spike was the one they *couldn't* love, but...
So she didn't love Riley enough to dust Spike for putting his life in danger?

Riley: But she doesn't love me.

Doesn't that make her kinda bitchy and callous?

No. It seems that she didn't care that much about Riley. She also forgot to tell him about her mother being sick. There was no passion; he didn't satisfy her sexually: after sex, she had to slip out of bed and go slay. He was just her current boyfriend, and he wanted more. Xander's speech made it clear:

XANDER: If he's not the guy, if what he needs from you just isn't there, let him go. Break his heart, and make it a clean break. But if you really think you can love this guy... I'm talking scary, messy, no-emotions-barred need... if you're ready for that... then think about what you're about to lose.

Xander said “if you can love this guy”, not “if you love this guy”. So Buffy ran after Riley to try once more to love him.
 
I again disagree 🙂 it's different. She had illusions about Parker, it wasn't an one-night stand for her. She was serious. If Parker was a human mass murderer, very unlikely that Buffy would've agreed to go out with him.

As for Spike, she knew exactly who he is, she wanted to keep away but she couldn't resist the temptation. If it was just about 'desperate to feel anything' I am sure she'd have found more than enough volunteers in the bronze who weren't vamps. She wanted Spike, and now with her after-death depression she gave in to the temptation.

And it's not just sexual attraction. she relaxes around him, that's why she seeks him out.
Not just because he is a good listener when he wants to be, but
because he understands her darker side. Buffy is a slayer, she loves a good kill, she quips, she dances. He is also his equal intellectually, the closet nerd 🙂 Riley never asked questions, submitting to authority, Riley, let's face it, was unchallenging and probably even without the crisis of joyce's death that demonstrated that Buffy closing herself off would have given up on Buffy. He told Xander Buffy didn't love him earlier on. She really tried, i think, but couldn't. 'Normal' isn't for Buffy.

Yeah - It's also the fact that Spike had nothing to do with bringing her back, and he really understood what she was going through. Everyone else wanted her to be normal - he knew that normal was different now, that there was no going back. He understood her in a way that none of the others could. There was no need for pretense, lies, masks - she could call him a neutered vampire who cheats at kitten poker. Imagine how one of the scoobs would have taken that - At that time! They were well beyond closeness and joking in season 6.
 
My point was that Buffy slept with Parker shortly after she met him so if Buffy feels something she'll tend to act on it. I never saw Buffy's desire for Spike as some long-buring thing precisly because he was a horrible murderer and she would, had she been in a different place, never given into any of those feelings.
YVMY I guess. I see Season 5 as a time where Spike becomes somebody she trusts, not desires.

I agree - I think she saw Spike as an ally, and someone she could really trust. She chose him to protect Dawn, knowing that Giles may still try to kill her. That's not lust, or romance - but it is giving Spike something more precious than the world.

Spike understood her situation better than any guy who she could pick up at the Bronze. Plus Buffy knew that Spike loved her and Buffy often mistaskes intimacy/sex with love (she did with Parker and later wuith Satsu- its why she isn't one for get some, get gone) and so she made a mistake ('Smashed') and continued to use that escape because it felt good (except when it didn't).

No - Parker was her 3rd sexual partner in 4 years - either Buffy had the libido of a snail, or she had normal urges she controlled. Parker was just damn good at using and discarding girls. I don't know that Smashed was a mistake. It was what she desperately needed, at that time. As self destructive behavior goes, wild sex is not that bad.

Eh, the 'connection' is tenuous. Buffy is a slayer, Spike is a vampire- not the same, the opposite actually since the demon in the slayer wants to kill vampires.
The urges are different, they both have thier dark side that is caught up with the violence, but Faith got that years before Spike did- she told Buffy herself often enough and Buffy denied it, because she was in a stronger place emotionally.
In S6 she didn't have that self-control.

It doesn't matter that this isn't season 3 Buffy - or that this isn't season 2 Spike. The whole point of the show is how they change and grow. Faith explored the darkness inside her, and then made the choice to seek redemption. Buffy never acknowledged the darkness inside until her entire life was destroyed. Her friends betrayed her and ripped her out of heaven, then went off on their own traumas leaving her to support a whiny teen (and dawn had reason to whine). She had no money, no job, and no one to support her in any way - except Spike. It was far more than a lack of self control in season 6. Buffy unzipped him and jumped on him - she wanted him at least as much as he wanted her. It was what she wanted and needed. It may not have turned out well, but hell sleeping with Angel had far worse repercussions.


Maybe, we don't really know. Riley wasn't the last non-vampire for Buffy to find attractive. There's Xander, Satsu and Dowling that came after. I find the whole Buffy can't be with 'normal' to be just a theory put forward by Spike in S5 and 6 (and 10) . The evidence seems to lean far more towards the 'can't be with vampire' thing.

And by the same token if Buffy hadn't been crippled with depression and emotionally numb, she would've never slept with Spike.

Yes - so what? Experience is what makes us wiser - mistakes are what gives us experience. Had she not been young and naive she would never have slept with Angel, and Jenny Calendar and a few others would be alive. No way of knowing about the curse. That was what she needed in season 2, and that was what happened as a result. In season 6 she needed something other than romance and tenderness - so she slept with an unsouled vampire who she trusted enough to ask him to protect her family multiple times, who understood her, and who was hot. . She got spectacular sex, which made her life simpler, allowed her to forget all the crap her friends had done to her and were still doing. When this one blew up, it hurt her in other ways. There are no seasons where she doesn't make mistakes, some of them catastrophic. Put all those mistakes are about what is happening in her life.
 
interesting choice of words. you said 'she'd given into those feelings'.
Not having desire is one thing. Not giving in to desire because the guy is bad news is another. We may condemn ourselves about our desires, but i know very few people who can consciously control not having them because of moral considerations

To me Buffy's emotional state has always been fairly easy to read, especially about who she's attracted to at one point or another. And up until S5 'Intervention' Buffy doesn't even see Spike as anything other than a monster- an annoyance and then a stalker. Afterwards everything changes and she realizes that he feels for her, genuinly, and so she sees him as more, as a man I suppose.

Before that, nah, that's why she treats him the way she does- as a non-entity. The Scoobies take their cue from her, often forgetting what Spike actually is. So they vent around him.

Where I do see a difference in her attitude to Spike is for a lot of S6. Buffy's is awkward around him and after they kiss she spends a lot of time avioding him/running away from him, very much like she's running away from her own growing feelings.

I find hard to believe she'd suddenly developed desire for him after his resurrection which wasn't there before. She is the same person, only depressed.

I disagree. Buffy is fundementally changed, she is clinically depressed, physically numb and cut off from her friends/mentor (which have been, in the context of the show, her heart, mind and spirit) so she is very different.
After Intervention she saw Spike as not 'just a demon' and after she comes back from the dead she forms an emotional bond with him that makes it possible for them to have mepathy with each other. Then come other feelings.

I dunno, I just never thought of Bufyf as that shallow. There has to be an emotional connection there first before Buffy gets all lusty.

yes, she controlled it better than faith, but i think she was in denial about the whole thing. Look at the poor vamps when she is upset.

Yeah Buffy vents her emotions on vampires, violently, just like Faith. But she doesn't shag them or even have any sort of connection with them- they are demons, objects. Spike was no different until late S5.

There was also that Owen guy. so what? finding someone attractive and actually make it work it's two different things. She'd be bored with them in no time and it would end like it ended with Riley.

Buffy was never bored with Riley she was content.
That's the difference. Buffy was happy and in love and she took Riley for granted when other pressures came along (Glory, her Mom's illness) they drifted apart. As they began to drift Riley made some truly terrible choices, then blamed Buffy and then left her.
Even after Riley is gone Buffy still misses him ('IWMTLY', 'Spiral').

As see how she reacts to his return. If that boy hadn't been married...

I dunno. now that you convinced me that Buffy is impulsive, i am not sure about that.

It's not a matter of impulsive its about control. Faith tells Buffy in 'Sanctuary' 'you're all about control' (because of her previous experience with Angel/us) and then says that Buffy has no idea what its like to be on the other side- where there's 'just pain and hate and nothing you do means anything'.

Man, its like Faith can just see Season 6 Buffy because that is her relationship with Spike right there.

Besides, Spike is popular.

With the fans but not with the Scoobies.
Giles and Xander hate him. Riley calls him 'assface'. Buffy hates him for most of S5. He is useful as a contact in the underworld (notice how they all stop going to Willy's Place after S5) and as paid muscle/protection for Dawn. Dawn crushes on him because she's immature.
And again, when Buffy's attitude shifts post-Intervention then the other slowly take their cue from her and work with Spike out of nessesity. Then they work together between the seasons and then Spike goes his own way again soon after.


And they all have these conversations with him, not just Buffy. Riley and Spike after the plastic stake incident? I see two men talking about the women they both love. That's one good dialogue. They're so honest about it all. Xander, telling him about his troubles with Willow and Anya in the Bronze though Spike couldnt care less, he just wanted an update on Buffy.

Yeah, they sometimes forget what he is in their off-moments. They don't think Spike is nice, just that he's neutered/harmless. Scoobies=dumb sometimes.

The scoobies were never had banter like that with Angel, there was always a distance kept in both sides,

Banter doesn't mean like. Angel got on fine with Willow and Oz. Cordy crushed on him harder than Dawn crushed on Spike (and she apprently crushed on Angel before that...). Angel was primarily there as Buffy's love interest on the show wheras Spike wasn'tt hat for some of S4/5

which i don't see with Spike even though they shun him and call him names

They don't hang around with him in Season 4 (he's an informant and then they let him go). In Season 5 Spike is mostly there to stalk Buffy and runs into the gang a lot. In S6 they did work together, briefly, and then Spike's back to being on his own.

Riley: But she doesn't love me.

Who knows Buffy better. Buffy or Riley (or indeed, Xander)?

From 'Out Of Their Minds'

BUFFY: (to Riley) Don't psyche 101 me! Not now. Not after - after everything....(then/pained) Nobody's ever known me the way you do. Nobody. I've opened myself up to you in a way that- God, you're just sitting back thinking it doesn't mean anything to me?

(later)

BUFFY: I need you. I need... to have you with me, healthy and, and... but if you want to throw everything away because you don't trust me, then... then I'm still gonna make you go to the doctor.


No. It seems that she didn't care that much about Riley. She also forgot to tell him about her mother being sick. There was no passion; he didn't satisfy her sexually: after sex, she had to slip out of bed and go slay.

So she didn't love him and the sex was bad? Then why the hell did she stay with him? 😛

There's no evidence to say that Briley had a bad sex life. Quite the opposite actually, there's an entire episode where they can't keep their hands off each other. The start of S5 shows Buffy- as slayer- being restless and wanting to slay. Nothing to do with passion/sex, everything to do with wanting to kill/fight. There's a difference.

And if you're only evidence is that Buffy left Riley afterwards then Buffy did that to Spike all the time...

No - Parker was her 3rd sexual partner in 4 years - either Buffy had the libido of a snail, or she had normal urges she controlled.

I think that Buffy learned from very early on that sex=pain/unhappiness bad consquences. She was with Angel for her teenage years and a lot of that was about abstinence by nessesity. Obviously that changed after college and yeah, she found out that sex doesn't have to equal pain. With Riley.

I don't know that Smashed was a mistake.

I do. Screwing an evil monster because you're in pain is a mistake. Buffy suffers consequences by almost getting raped. Lesson learned.

It was what she desperately needed, at that time. As self destructive behavior goes, wild sex is not that bad.

I disagree. It was something that Buffy wanted, not what she needed. What she needed was support from her friends, not the attentions of a demon.

It doesn't matter that this isn't season 3 Buffy - or that this isn't season 2 Spike. The whole point of the show is how they change and grow. Faith explored the darkness inside her, and then made the choice to seek redemption. Buffy never acknowledged the darkness inside until her entire life was destroyed. Her friends betrayed her and ripped her out of heaven, then went off on their own traumas leaving her to support a whiny teen (and dawn had reason to whine). She had no money, no job, and no one to support her in any way - except Spike. It was far more than a lack of self control in season 6. Buffy unzipped him and jumped on him - she wanted him at least as much as he wanted her. It was what she wanted and needed. It may not have turned out well, but hell sleeping with Angel had far worse repercussions.

I guess the point I'm making is that Buffy in Season 6 didn't grow, didn't get stronger (like in every other season) she was weak- emotionally, mentally (unfocused) and hell, even physically- going through the motions, no passion in her slaying.
Buffy being weak in all those ways meant that S6 Spuffy happened. If she had been stronger then it wouldn't have happened, Buffy's sense of morals would've stopped her and also her lack of true connection with Spike.

Yes - so what? Experience is what makes us wiser - mistakes are what gives us experience. Had she not been young and naive she would never have slept with Angel, and Jenny Calendar and a few others would be alive. No way of knowing about the curse. That was what she needed in season 2,

See above, S6 Buffy is a lot weaker in every way than Season 5. She's a basket case.
And again, I disagree about Angel. Angel was what Buffy wanted in an implusive moment, she made the mistake, and paid the price in pain for giving in (as did Angel only much more so). Buffy is simply repeating the same mistake although here she's going into it with her eyes wide open, which makes it worse.

In season 6 she needed something other than romance and tenderness - so she slept with an unsouled vampire who she trusted enough to ask him to protect her family multiple times, who understood her, and who was hot.

Well I guess that makes it okay then, I mean if he's hot then who cares if he's evil, right? 😛
And Spike is still evil, he still wants to kill (other people, just not Buffy) and does evil things (the demon egg dealing), he just doesn't hurt Buffy...much.

Like Xander states later on Buffy forgot what Spike was in order to forfill her own needs.

And btw I'm of the opinion that the sex was decidedly hit and miss (see 'Doublemeat Palace', 'As You Were', etc). It was Buffy's version of 'get some, get gone'. Scratch the itch, get the feeling and then get the hell out of there because 'yeesh'.
 
Who knows Buffy better. Buffy or Riley (or indeed, Xander)?

From 'Out Of Their Minds'

BUFFY: (to Riley) Don't psyche 101 me! Not now. Not after - after everything....(then/pained) Nobody's ever known me the way you do. Nobody. I've opened myself up to you in a way that- God, you're just sitting back thinking it doesn't mean anything to me?

Buffy answered your question: Riley. And Riley said that she didn't love him.

BUFFY: I need you. I need... to have you with me, healthy and, and... but if you want to throw everything away because you don't trust me, then... then I'm still gonna make you go to the doctor.

She said she needed him.

So she didn't love him and the sex was bad? Then why the hell did she stay with him? 😛

There's no evidence to say that Briley had a bad sex life. Quite the opposite actually, there's an entire episode where they can't keep their hands off each other. The start of S5 shows Buffy- as slayer- being restless and wanting to slay. Nothing to do with passion/sex, everything to do with wanting to kill/fight. There's a difference.

With Riley, Buffy was having plenty of sex for the first time, and of course that wasn't all bad. But, as we see later, the Slayer likes rough sex - remember the bite marks she left in Spike and how she gave him "a run for his money"... it seems Riley wasn't providing that, as he didn't solve her "restlessness". And we have a glimpse of his conservative views about sex when he was with Buffy/Faith: the idea of playing roles upset him a great deal; not a thing for a farm boy to do in bed with his girlfriend.

And if you're only evidence is that Buffy left Riley afterwards then Buffy did that to Spike all the time...

Because of a bunch of other reasons...

And I forgot that the conversation with Spike in the back porch was right after the thing with Spike and the doctor; Buffy, at that moment, had completely forgotten Riley - she was in pain, and didn't have the urge to be in her boyfriend's arms. After Joyce died, who she met? Angel.
 
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Buffy answer to your question: Riley. And Riley said that she didn't love him.

Riley knows Buffy better than Buffy? I don't buy it. Riley's insecurities are apparent throughout S5, that doesn't make them fact.

She said she needed him.

Yeah, and? Buffy didn't want Riley to die, she cared deeply about him and you're saying that basically he didn't matter enough to her. I disagree.

With Riley, Buffy was having plenty of sex for the first time, and of course that wasn't all bad. But, as we see later, the Slayer likes rough sex

So the slayer only likes rough sex? That's...one interpretation, and given what happens in S6, its a pretty disturbing one. As I remember Buffy hated herself for a lot of the things she did with Spike.
From what I can see Buffy enjoyed all her sexy times with Riley, unlike only sometimes with Spike- there were times where she just seemed bored (Doublemeat Palace, As You Were).

So I would say that sometimes Buffy likes it tender and loving with somebody who isn't room (crypt) temperature, and Spike obviously didn't (and couldn't) provide that.

...Plus, what did Angel say that one time. That Spike 'wasn't much for the pre-show', and Drusilla was standing right there and didn't rush to disagree. Hnm, very interesting that. 😀

And we have a glimpse of his conservative views about sex when he was with Buffy/Faith: the idea of playing roles upset him a great deal; not a thing for a farm boy to do in bed with his girlfriend.

What, because he didn't want 'hurt the bad girl' or spank her or have sex in public therefore that makes Riley a vanilla sex kinda guy? Okay.

Plus, Faith (another slayer) seemed to not mind the not-rough approach with Riley.

Because of a bunch of other reasons...

If the theory works for Riley then it can work for Spike. Buffy left Riley after sex- sometimes. Buffy left Spike after sex as well, maybe for the same reasons, we don't know.
 
Yeah, and? Buffy didn't want Riley to die, she cared deeply about him and you're saying that basically he didn't matter enough to her. I disagree.

Well, after you pointed out that Spike almost caused Riley's death and wasn't dusted...

So the slayer only likes rough sex?

No, not only.

As I remember Buffy hated herself for a lot of the things she did with Spike.

But she didn't hate what she did to Spike... she freed herself; it was "moral" Buffy who hated "all those things". I bet the Slayer liked them very much...

So I would say that sometimes Buffy likes it tender and loving with somebody who isn't room (crypt) temperature, and Spike obviously didn't (and couldn't) provide that.

Oh, Spike can and he is providing it right now. In the past, he gave Buffy what she wanted - she was the one who started it all, remember? And used him for sex.

Plus, Faith (another slayer) seemed to not mind the not-rough approach with Riley.

Faith would do it with any man, any time. And she likes some kinky:

FAITH: Hey, to each his own, man. This one guy I ran with, he liked me to dress up like a school girl and take this friggin' bull-whip, (gestures like she's using a whip) and I'd be like—

 
Well, after you pointed out that Spike almost caused Riley's death and wasn't dusted...

And you're saying the reason is that Buffy doesn't love Riley enough- which would make Buffy a horrible human being. But hey, its your theory- I just happen to disagree with it entirely. 😉

No, not only.

Fine, 'prefer', and I still disagree because well, there's simply no evidence on-screen that Buffy prefers it 'rough', its just a Spuffy-ism.

But she didn't hate what she did to Spike

Yeash, I think I'm getting a bit queazy...
From 'Dead Things':

BUFFY: Why do I feel like this? Why do I let Spike do those things to me?
BUFFY: It is! It's wrong. I'm wrong...Tell me that I'm wrong...


Nothing will convince me that this is what Buffy prefers, to feel disgusted and degraded and in an abusive relationship with a monster. There was no pain with Riley, no hate. Sure, there wasn't as much passion but there was sexual enjoyment with no consequences.
But, y'know, if you want to think this was Bufyf's 'best sex ever' or that Spike 'is best at sex' then that's fine. We all have fanon theories. 🙂

I bet the Slayer liked them very much...

So the slayer part of her loves having sex with a vampire when the entire purpose of a slayer is that it wants to kill vampires. It's why they exist. Vampires want to drink blood and slayers want to dust.
Excuse me if I fail to see your logic.

Oh, Spike can and he is providing it right now.

Good for them now, in the comics he has a soul and that's great. But since we're talking about unsouled Spike then that really isn't an issue.

Faith would do it with any man, any time. And she likes some kinky:

Y'know, Wood seems like a nice guy who 'had stamina' and he and Faith had a fairly long relationship (a year plus). So again I'll reject your (somewhat abhorent) theory that slayers 'prefer' rough sex with vampires to normal sex with regular guys. There's no evidence.
 
To me Buffy's emotional state has always been fairly easy to read, especially about who she's attracted to at one point or another. And up until S5 'Intervention' Buffy doesn't even see Spike as anything other than a monster- an annoyance and then a stalker. Afterwards everything changes and she realizes that he feels for her, genuinly, and so she sees him as more, as a man I suppose.

Before that, nah, that's why she treats him the way she does- as a non-entity. The Scoobies take their cue from her, often forgetting what Spike actually is. So they vent around him.

Where I do see a difference in her attitude to Spike is for a lot of S6. Buffy's is awkward around him and after they kiss she spends a lot of time avioding him/running away from him, very much like she's running away from her own growing feelings.



I disagree. Buffy is fundementally changed, she is clinically depressed, physically numb and cut off from her friends/mentor (which have been, in the context of the show, her heart, mind and spirit) so she is very different.
After Intervention she saw Spike as not 'just a demon' and after she comes back from the dead she forms an emotional bond with him that makes it possible for them to have mepathy with each other. Then come other feelings.

I dunno, I just never thought of Bufyf as that shallow. There has to be an emotional connection there first before Buffy gets all lusty.
Again, it's not just about lust, but then we've already discussed all this, i won't bore you with the details again.

Yeah Buffy vents her emotions on vampires, violently, just like Faith. But she doesn't shag them or even have any sort of connection with them- they are demons, objects. Spike was no different until late S5.
She had connections. Angel, soul or no, is a vamp. Also She and Spike were reluctant allies at the end of season 2 and in lover's walk. then again (and more in seasons 4-5. ) but it wasn't what i meant here. i meant she isn't that controlled, more like repressed about her dark side. Not saying they shag their slayees before slaying them. I meant
slayers intimate with darkness, death and violence. Xander and Riley would never get it. Also if Buffy would do the things with Riley she did with Spike, she'd break soldier boy 😀
But seriously, she played nice with Riley, sometimes too nice. I think if Riley had to deal with season 6 buffy, he'd be scared out of his wits. Souled Angel or Spike could handle it the best.

Buffy was never bored with Riley she was content.
No. There was something missing, they both felt it.
Riley says it himself. To Xander. Your boyfrined felts unloved and at the same time you feel all content and happy? Who is in denial?

That's the difference. Buffy was happy and in love and she took Riley for granted when other pressures came along (Glory, her Mom's illness) they drifted apart. As they began to drift Riley made some truly terrible choices, then blamed Buffy and then left her.
Even after Riley is gone Buffy still misses him ('IWMTLY', 'Spiral').
'drifted apart' Let's be serious here. if your relationship and love is strong it'll survive a crisis. Even if there are problems, you'd want to solve them and keep going on. You fight for it. You don't give up easily.

Everyone around Buffy kept repeating how Riley was good for her. Now was he? He admired her, but he never opposed authority like she did, he was a yesman. He handled the Walsh crisis badly, blaming her, then going off the rocks completely. You can say, drugs, but i say even without the drugs it was hard for him to deal with her world.

GRAHAM: But you know you don't belong here, right? ...This town? I mean, you're nothin' here.
GRAHAM: Come on, man. You know it's true. There's nothing for you here.
RILEY: There's her.
GRAHAM: Okay, right, there's her. And? You used to have a mission, and now you're what? The mission's boyfriend? Mission's true love?

his commadre's taunts were getting to him in a (what i am doing here, really? way). Then he needed to face him not being superhero problems. so he hides in a cave. Then he needs to face they have problems in their relationship. so he cheats on her. then gives her an ultimatum, then he leaves to do a man's job and his world is right again.

Let's say Buffy caught up with him and he stayed around her in Sunnydale. He is trained to be a soldier, and he is a good one. not a scooby. But let's say, he stays. and then what, patrolls with her? she doesn't need him patrolling with her. She hates that.

Do you honestly see her going to the church with him every Sunday?


As see how she reacts to his return. If that boy hadn't been married...
now how she reacts? She feels she is a failure, doing her fast food job, she is depressed, in an unstable relationship.
in short, not normal. What Buffy says, what she wishes and how she acts are three different things.
She, since season 1 wanted a normal life. With Riley he had a guy both Willow and Xander approved of, willow acutally persuading her to pursue the relationship. And she does, and determined to make it work. She was left once,
it hurt like hell, but she was told by her great love that it's for her own good and that she needs a normal guy. So here he is, and Buffy tried really hard. And failed. That's why Spike's cruel words got to her ('don't need or cannot keep?')

Who knows Buffy better. Buffy or Riley (or indeed, Xander)?

From 'Out Of Their Minds'

BUFFY: (to Riley) Don't psyche 101 me! Not now. Not after - after everything....(then/pained) Nobody's ever known me the way you do. Nobody. I've opened myself up to you in a way that- God, you're just sitting back thinking it doesn't mean anything to me?

(later)

BUFFY: I need you. I need... to have you with me, healthy and, and... but if you want to throw everything away because you don't trust me, then... then I'm still gonna make you go to the doctor.
Again, She needs him, she determined to make it work. And here her main purpose is to prove to him how much
he is needed and loved for himself, so she could drag him to the doc.

So she didn't love him and the sex was bad? Then why the hell did she stay with him? 😛

There's no evidence to say that Briley had a bad sex life. Quite the opposite actually, there's an entire episode where they can't keep their hands off each other. The start of S5 shows Buffy- as slayer- being restless and wanting to slay. Nothing to do with passion/sex, everything to do with wanting to kill/fight. There's a difference.
As about the sex - buffy was pretty unexperienced (angel 2x times one of which never happened and parker.)
Then Riley. Let's mention Riley had sex with Faith in Buffy skin and was so impressed after that said he loved her.
I am sure the sex was nice, but nothing to write home about. Both played too nice. But Spike says she can go five hours straight and that he'd never felt anything like it. I doubt Riley could keep up five hours.

Buffy needs someone as strong as she is, She needs someone who is as sharp as she is.
She needs someone who understands the darnkess in her, but who also can drag her out of it.
Riley none of those things.

Anya, here is your damn pedant.
I Wish Buffy didn't let Willow persuade her to pursue this relationship with Riley.
I Wish he'd left sooner when he realized she doesn't love him.
I wish he'd talked to her instead of cheating on her.
I wish he didn't put the blame on her and didn't give her an ultimatum.
I wish he didn't return to flaunt Sam. That one was a low blow.

sorry for the long rant... uhh, i just realized i can't stand Riley.
 
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She had connections. Angel, soul or no, is a vamp. Also She and Spike were reluctant allies at the end of season 2 and in lover's walk. then again (and more in seasons 4-5. ) but it wasn't what i meant here. i meant she isn't that controlled, more like repressed about her dark side.

Buffy wasn't repressed (although Faith thought that initially), she was so controlled precisly because she can use that darkness inside her to beat the badguy.
See, Kendra was the one that was repressed (didn't use her emotions, couldn't even talk to boys), and Faith was out-of-control (brave but also reckless, uses guys for whatever, too in love with the darkness) they were both used to show that Buffy had the right slayer balance.

But not in S6, Buffy is unbalanced, uncontrolled. Her mind (Giles) has left her so she is unfocused, her spirit (Willow) is poisoned with darkness, and her heart (Xander) is distracted with internal fears.

Not saying they shag their slayees before slaying them. I meant slayers intimate with darkness, death and violence.

Right, but that's the same with all slayers/vampires. Their natural enemies but there's a duality there- creatures of darkness, demon and humanity in the same body and whatnot. The only difference is that Spike cannot be 'true to his nature' so he lasts longer than other vampires in a slayers company.
I still don't see how this translates into 'Buffy digs Spike' before S6.

But seriously, she played nice with Riley, sometimes too nice. I think if Riley had to deal with season 6 buffy, he'd be scared out of his wits. Souled Angel or Spike could handle it the best.

Eh, Riley saw S6 Buffy at exactly her lowest point- crap job, unfocused, shagging Spike- and what did he say? 'that doesn't touch who you are', just like that. He gave Buffy the best speech of that season and gives her the impetus to start to get her life back together (dump Spike).
I think you're not being fair to Riley, but I see that a lot on these boards.

Now I actually see that Riley might've been able to do this because he left and came back more confident. Maybe if he'd stayed and Buffy had somehow still dies and come back maybe that drift still would've happened anyway.
But maybe not- it all depends if Riley would've been in on the 'rip Buffy out of heaven' plan. If so then he's in the same boat as everybody else- distanced, but if not- well, Riley wants to be needed by Buffy, and S6 was Buffy at her most needy. I think he would've been there for her and I think it would've been less destructive.
But that's pure speculation, I acknowledge that. 🙂

No. There was something missing, they both felt it.

No, only Riley felt it. Show me where Buffy felt/knew that their relationship was in any sort of trouble until the shock of 'Into The Woods'.

'drifted apart' Let's be serious here. if your relationship and love is strong it'll survive a crisis. Even if there are problems, you'd want to solve them and keep going on. You fight for it. You don't give up easily.

Riley is the one who gave up and ran for the hills whilst Buffy was still reeling from his 'this is all kinda your fault' speech. What did Buffy give up? She ran after the damn helicopter and then mourned Riley's departure.

Everyone around Buffy kept repeating how Riley was good for her. Now was he? He admired her, but he never opposed authority like she did, he was a yesman.

I couldn't disagree more. Out of her three main boyfriends Riley was the one who stood up to Buffy the most, who called her on a lot of her crap ('Doomed' is a prime example, 'New Moon Rising' another).
To Angel Buffy was his salvation- he would help her and make a difference and to Spike she was his obsession- a creature of the dark like him. Until he gets a soul and then it was 'you're my salvation' all over again (hell, apparently she 'glows' when he sees her. I mean, come on!).

To Riley Buffy is a girl, a mystery, then the slayer who helps him through a tough time in his life, and then finally his first love. He moved on precisly because she wasn't everything to him.

Let's say Buffy caught up with him and he stayed around her in Sunnydale. He is trained to be a soldier, and he is a good one. not a scooby. But let's say, he stays. and then what, patrolls with her? she doesn't need him patrolling with her. She hates that.

Riley got on well with the Scoobies better than the other two. He vibed with them fine. And while I do recognize that he wasn't quite Scooby material, he could've been if he hadn't self-destructed because of his own insecurities.
But if Buffy HAD relied on him, had reassured him just a bit more? He would've stayed and yeah, I think Buffy would've been happier. Happier not being abandoned by a guy she cared about. Happier about having another ally, somebody who wasn't a bad fighter and who had access to military stuff.

Let's get one thing straight- Buffy's character dichotomy isn't between light and darkness, not really. It's between duty and freedom- slayer and normal. There is no evidence that Buffy needs some 'monster in her man' as Spike put it. Spike and Angel are not similar cases and (I think even Spuffies can agree with me on this) her feelings towards one were not the same as the other.
I think Bufyf would like 'an equal', somebody who maybe could share her jb with her. It's not required, but it is a nice bonus. I mean, if she hated a boyfriend who had a similar job to her then what the hell is Spike doing in the comics?

now how she reacts? She feels she is a failure, doing her fast food job, she is depressed, in an unstable relationship. in short, not normal.

And what does Buffy do after the initial shock? She starts flirting with Riley right there- reminiscing about his toys and outfits, getting physically close to him on the dam.
That wasn't nostalgia, that was real.

She, since season 1 wanted a normal life. With Riley he had a guy both Willow and Xander approved of, willow acutally persuading her to pursue the relationship.

I disagree, Willow helped Riley, not Buffy. She helped engineer an introduction but afterwards Buffy did all the persuing without any friend help. In fact her friends are all worried about the Initiative and what it means, and also the amount of time Buffy is spending with Riley. It isn't resentment, but nor is it encouragement.

And she does, and determined to make it work. She was left once,
it hurt like hell, but she was told by her great love that it's for her own good and that she needs a normal guy. So here he is, and Buffy tried really hard. And failed.

*sigh* I have to disagree in the strongest terms. Buffy DID NOT fail in their relationship. Riley is the one who, ultimately, torpedoes their relationship and flees before it even has a chance to be put right.

Again, She needs him, she determined to make it work. And here her main purpose is to prove to him how much
he is needed and loved for himself, so she could drag him to the doc.

She could've dragged Riley to the doctor without the out-poring of emotion- she's stronger than him after all. I have to take what she says at face value because he's doing the same- they're baring themselves to each other emotionally. I don't like the scene but I do believe it is authentic.

As about the sex - buffy was pretty unexperienced (angel 2x times one of which never happened and parker.)
Then Riley. Let's mention Riley had sex with Faith in Buffy skin and was so impressed after that said he loved her.

Buffy said that Parker 'was nice' and seems more that satified with Riley- as is amply demonstrated time and again. Because, and here's a thing, if Buffy wasn't satified with Riley then she wouldn't want to do it as often because she wouldn't rate his performance that highly.
But she continues and acts very much like she enjoys it.

Now you can say 'well Spike is a vampire so of course he's better at "the sex" because Bufyf didn't know what she was missing' or whatever theory you want to come out with, but there's no evidence for that and even a bit of evidence to the contrary.
I never saw Buffy looking bored when she was making love with Riley, for example.

Oh, and here's something. Anya had sex with Xander (a lot and enjoyed it a lot) then later she had sex with Spike. And then she went back to having sex with Xander and, I know this is gonna seem crazy, she wasn't overwhelmed with disappointment. So mortal/immortal sex doesn't seem that different, not really.
Strange that. 😉

I am sure the sex was nice, but nothing to write home about. Both played too nice.

This is just your opinion and there's nothing to indictate that it wasn't 'anything to right home about'. Basically you have a theory because you like one relationship more than another.

Buffy needs someone as strong as she is, She needs someone who is as sharp as she is. She needs someone who understands the darnkess in her, but who also can drag her out of it. Riley none of those things.

I never saw Spike as being as strong as Buffy (neither physically or emotionally) their relationship is never equal. Unless you think mutual abuse is equal and even then...
Another thing, as becomes clear in S6 and S7, just because Spike kills a couple of slayers, and sleeps with another one, doesn't mean he knows anything about what its like to be a slayer. Almost everytihng he says about it is either grossly skewed in some way or out-and-out wrong. He has ZERO insight.

You wanna see amorally ambigous character who knows Buffy and says things that are actually accurate (as in 'come to pass' for her) then that is Faith not Spike.

i just realized i can't stand Riley.

I got that. I, on the other hand, can't stand Spuffy. So lets agree to disagree. 🙂
 
Wildfly
Wildfly
Let's do that :) it was interesting to read the thoughts of someone who likes Riley.
BUFFY: Why do I feel like this? Why do I let Spike do those things to me?
BUFFY: It is! It's wrong. I'm wrong...Tell me that I'm wrong...

Moral guilty - she didn't say "I don't like it! I don't like it!" And "those things Spike does to me?" Because she just stayed there, doing nothing...

But, y'know, if you want to think this was Bufyf's 'best sex ever' or that Spike 'is best at sex' then that's fine. We all have fanon theories.

BUFFY: And sex. Great muppety Odin, I miss that sex.

No, she was not thinking about Riley, I'm sure.

So again I'll reject your (somewhat abhorent) theory that slayers 'prefer' rough sex with vampires to normal sex with regular guys.

First of all, I'm talking about Buffy: she felt the need of great muppety Odin sex, she liked what she had with Spike (or do you think she faked it all those times?) - if she hadn't, if she had felt disgusted, never would she be intimate with Spike again, soul or no soul. She wouldn't want him to touch her, ever.

And about mine "(somewhat abhorrent) theory": we all know that you think the sex in Wrecked was abhorrent; I don't. Many people don't. Buffy didn't. So let's agree to disagree. Again.
 
As about the sex - buffy was pretty unexperienced (angel 2x times one of which never happened and parker.)

Buffy and Angel did it more than one time... and for Spike's advantage that the day was udone, because remember the Furies? Mmmmm. Angel. 😀
 
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Moral guilty - she didn't say "I don't like it! I don't like it!" And "those things Spike does to me?" Because she just stayed there, doing nothing...

Well I never said that she didn't enjoy the sex, I just said that a) She's conflicted about it because of WHO she's doing it with (a soulless vampire with a leash in his head)and b) It's not 'the best ever' or some crap.
I happen to think she had a fine time with Riley as well as Spike, and also Angel that one time. Whatever.

BUFFY: And sex. Great muppety Odin, I miss that sex.
No, she was not thinking about Riley, I'm sure.

This is the definition of head-canon.
Buffy could be refering to Parker for all we know- its been a dry spell for the poor girl, that's all that comment indicates.

Plus, if we're including the comics- Satsu (one of the best nights of her life, with a slayer no less) and Angel!Twilight countryside destroying, space-sex probably beat Spuffy sex hands down.
Y'know, if we want to be shallow about it. 😛

First of all, I'm talking about Buffy: she felt the need of great muppety Odin sex, she liked what she had with Spike (or do you think she faked it all those times?) - if she hadn't, if she had felt disgusted, never would she be intimate with Spike again, soul or no soul. She wouldn't want him to touch her, ever.

Well, Buffy 'got over' the rape attempt. So I think 'degrading sex' was low on the list of things she needed to get past in regards to Spike. At least with the degrading sex Buffy made a choice (and therefore could blame herself), unlike that time in the bathroom.

And about mine "(somewhat abhorrent) theory": we all know that you think the sex in Wrecked was abhorrent; I don't.

Uh, they never had sex in 'Wrecked', its possible you mean 'Smashed'. That, at least I can see as being hot. No, the low point of their sex is 'Dead Things', which is by turns gross and unintentionally funny.
 
I think that Buffy learned from very early on that sex=pain/unhappiness bad consquences. She was with Angel for her teenage years and a lot of that was about abstinence by nessesity. Obviously that changed after college and yeah, she found out that sex doesn't have to equal pain. With Riley.

Yes, and she learned that after Innocence after the vampire she loved and trusted began trying to kill her friends and family - and was successful. That is one hell of a lesson - particularly when you have to put a sword through him and send him to a hell dimension. I'm not sure she ever learned that sex didn't include some sort of pain - and frankly given her love life I don't see any relationships that didn't include and end with some degree of pain. Which was harder - the AR or puling Giles out of a burning warehouse after seeing Jenny' body laid out on the bed? Was it having Parker treat her like a toilet? Owen thinking she was the ticket to a scary fun ride? Riley going off to pay vamps to suck his blood and blaming it on Buffy not giving him enough? Yeah, pain, agreed.

I do. Screwing an evil monster because you're in pain is a mistake. Buffy suffers consequences by almost getting raped. Lesson learned.

Yup - no argument there. As I recall I said wisdom comes from experience and experience comes from mistakes. He was in love with her in his own way, which was obsessive and demonic, but he was the one person in her life who really tried to take care of her and give her what she needed. All her friends, as I said, were too busy trying to pretend everything was fine with her, too busy with their own traumas, or on a plane to England. So he was there for her, and he tried - and she admitted that it helped her when she told him she was using him and she needed to be strong. It's not black and white - good and evil - it's rather more nuanced.

I disagree. It was something that Buffy wanted, not what she needed. What she needed was support from her friends, not the attentions of a demon.

You are using needed in the sense of we all need to eat our veggies and get plenty of sleep. I am using the word needed in the sense of I need to stay up all night and drink with my BFF and call in sick tomorrow. Not all needs are healthy - and frankly healthy has a pretty big range. Is going to an S&M club healthy? I wouldn't but do I get to say all those people belong in church instead? Because I don't go there either. I would probably prefer checking out the S&M club. We could debate the difference between want and need forever - all I am saying is the being with Spike gave Buffy a pressure valve, a way to blow off steam that could have been bottled up and exploded in a far more dangerous way.

I guess the point I'm making is that Buffy in Season 6 didn't grow, didn't get stronger (like in every other season) she was weak- emotionally, mentally (unfocused) and hell, even physically- going through the motions, no passion in her slaying.
Buffy being weak in all those ways meant that S6 Spuffy happened. If she had been stronger then it wouldn't have happened, Buffy's sense of morals would've stopped her and also her lack of true connection with Spike.

Buffy did grow - from a desiccated corpse with her soul in heaven to literally fighting her way into the light (yes, horribly lame scene). She learned she couldn't fix other people - Willow still went crazy and Xander still abandoned Anya, and she found out that she couldn't fix everyone but she could fix herself. It wasn't a lovely healthy see a counselor and pray in church kinda thing though - it was twisted, and angry. Spike didn't get those bite marks and scratches by himself. Buffy gave a good as she got - she had a lot of rage inside her and you either express rage or bottle it up. All 3 characters - Buffy, Willow and Xander - went crazy, and all 3 survived it. Anya, Tara, and Spike were each destroyed in their own ways. Spike deserved it the most. You know my feelings on the AR - I see absolutely no way to defend him, or rationalize what he did.

See above, S6 Buffy is a lot weaker in every way than Season 5. She's a basket case.
And again, I disagree about Angel. Angel was what Buffy wanted in an implusive moment, she made the mistake, and paid the price in pain for giving in (as did Angel only much more so). Buffy is simply repeating the same mistake although here she's going into it with her eyes wide open, which makes it worse.

Yes, she is weaker - she died and was pulled out of heaven, forced to dig out of her own grave. In season 5 she weathered pain after pain, and finally had the chance to make her death be her gift. She was finished, and at peace. Being pulled out of heaven and having to dig out of your grave makes you a basket case.

I don't know if I would classify Angel as a want or a need - but it was a beautiful romantic moment (as much as I think an older guy should keep it zipped until shes of age). The mistake there was tragic, and I think it was life shattering in a lot of ways. I agree, it created the sex=pain paradigm that ruled her for a long time. This was an innocent mistake that blew up her life.

I agree that Spike is not an innocent mistake - but Buffy is no longer a 16 year old virgin. She is filled with her own darkness, rage and fury and forced to hide it from her 'friends'. This is not a healthy place to be. Spike is a vampire who she has trusted and worked with, and he understands her pain and he loves her in his own way. Demonic love is great for demons - and I think she uses him to exorcise her demons. He is more than happy to be used - to him this is probably a healthy relationship, Buffy is more sane than Dru. Not surprising at all that it blows up dramatically, and both of them are hurt. Buffy who is attacked, almost raped. And Spike who finds out he is no more than a demon, that he can use her trust to hurt her.
 
...Plus, what did Angel say that one time. That Spike 'wasn't much for the pre-show', and Drusilla was standing right there and didn't rush to disagree. Hnm, very interesting that. 😀

Yeah - keep in mind the pre-show in this case is torture. Remember how Angelus used to like to destroy a person?

ANGEL
I couldn't take my eyes off them. I was only in it for the evil. It was everything to me. It was art. The destruction of a human being. I would've considered Dana a masterpiece. (Damage)


That was the pre-show, and since Dru was his real masterpiece, well I can see what sort of pre-show she really wanted. Unless you really think that Spike should have been doing the things Angelus did in season 2 - that was his sort of pre-show.

Angel: I did a lot of unconscionable things when I became a vampire.
(turns back, but doesn't make eye contact) Drusilla was the worst. She
was... an obsession of mine. She was pure and sweet and chaste...

Buffy: And you made her a vampire.

Angel: First I made her insane. (looks at her) Killed everybody she
loved. Visited every mental torture on her I could devise. (Buffy looks
away) She eventually fled to a convent, and on the day she took her holy
orders, I turned her into a demon.


The pre-show comes before turning her. I guess it's really best that Spike wasn't into the pre-show. But Dru did want her daddy to hurt her, to make her bleed again. Even as a demon, Spike just wasn't sadistic enough, couldn't compete with Angel in psychological and physical torture - I can't see why you think he should have been more for that sort of pre-show but hey - we all have our fantasies.😀

Yeash, I think I'm getting a bit queazy...
From 'Dead Things':

BUFFY: Why do I feel like this? Why do I let Spike do those things to me?
BUFFY: It is! It's wrong. I'm wrong...Tell me that I'm wrong...


Nothing will convince me that this is what Buffy prefers, to feel disgusted and degraded and in an abusive relationship with a monster. There was no pain with Riley, no hate. Sure, there wasn't as much passion but there was sexual enjoyment with no consequences.
But, y'know, if you want to think this was Bufyf's 'best sex ever' or that Spike 'is best at sex' then that's fine. We all have fanon theories. 🙂

Shall we use that entire scene?

BUFFY: He's everything I hate. He's everything that ... I'm supposed to be against. But the only time that I ever feel anything is when ... Don't tell anyone, please.

TARA: I won't.
BUFFY: (crying) The way they would look at me ... I just couldn't...
TARA: I won't tell anyone. I wouldn't do that.
BUFFY: (whispers) Why can't I stop? Why do I keep letting him in?
TARA: (concerned) Do you love him?


Buffy just stares at her tearfully.

TARA: I-It's okay if you do. He's done a lot of good, and, and he does love you. A-and Buffy, it's okay if you don't. You're going through a really hard time, and you're...
BUFFY: (still tearful) What? Using him? What's okay about that?
TARA: It's not that simple.
BUFFY: It is! It's wrong. I'm wrong. Tell me that I'm wrong, please.
..

Buffy starts to cry for real now.

BUFFY: Please don't forgive me, please... (sobbing) Please don't...


So Buffy realizes that she can never love Spike, that he is everything she hates - And that she is using him. This is her shame - this is why she had to believe there was something more wrong with her. Because she is ashamed of having inceredible sex with Spike and loving it - and ashamed that she is using him.

No, only Riley felt it. Show me where Buffy felt/knew that their relationship was in any sort of trouble until the shock of 'Into The Woods'.

I would have thought that the first time she exhausted him with sex and then went out running to slay something and get rid of her excess energy would have shown that there was something of an imbalance in that area.

Now you can say 'well Spike is a vampire so of course he's better at "the sex" because Bufyf didn't know what she was missing' or whatever theory you want to come out with, but there's no evidence for that and even a bit of evidence to the contrary.
I never saw Buffy looking bored when she was making love with Riley, for example.

Oh, and here's something. Anya had sex with Xander (a lot and enjoyed it a lot) then later she had sex with Spike. And then she went back to having sex with Xander and, I know this is gonna seem crazy, she wasn't overwhelmed with disappointment. So mortal/immortal sex doesn't seem that different, not really.
Strange that. 😉

Not fanon - Buffy takes this in, freaking. Last night. SO wrong. And SO completely, mind-numbingly wild. Everything she's needed. Escape. Release. Ecstasy. With Spike.

It's in Wrecked - in the script. One of the other scripts specifies that this is the best sex she ever had. Oh, and Anya with Xander, as I recall that ended with them eating ice cream the night everyone else had sex.
 
Forced by who?

By her own desire to protect them from realizing what they had done to her. Healthy, no. She told Spike she had been ripped out of heaven and how it made her feel, and that no one must ever know.
 
Yeah - keep in mind the pre-show in this case is torture. Remember how Angelus used to like to destroy a person?

This is Angel, not Angelus. And he then adds that 'she (Drusilla) likes to be teased', as in foreplay. Drusilla simply tells him to hush up, she doesn't disagree. 😀

That's canon, from the actual dialogue. Ouch, poor Spike.

So Buffy realizes that she can never love Spike, that he is everything she hates - And that she is using him. This is her shame - this is why she had to believe there was something more wrong with her. Because she is ashamed of having inceredible sex with Spike and loving it - and ashamed that she is using him.

YVMY- Seems to me that 'those things' means the activities- degrading, mutually abusive and such. But hey, who cares if he's a demon, 'cause he's hawt and the sex is hawt! *shudder*

I would have thought that the first time she exhausted him with sex and then went out running to slay something and get rid of her excess energy would have shown that there was something of an imbalance in that area.
I disagree obviously, because it seemed clear to me that Buffy went out to slay because she needed to slay- linked entirely to the slayer spell they cast before the summer. Buffy states the link clear as you like to Giles later on. This happened so I do this- every night.
Buffy doesn't leave Riley after any other times. In fact, its Riley that often leaves because he is not gettting what he needs. I blame that on him not on Buffy.

But with Spike Buffy always fled after she'd scatched that itch- it was 'get some, get gone' (at least after that first time), so maybe- if your interpretation is right- Spike wasn't satisfying Buffy either. 😉

Not fanon - Buffy takes this in, freaking. Last night. SO wrong. And SO completely, mind-numbingly wild. Everything she's needed. Escape. Release. Ecstasy. With Spike.
It's in Wrecked - in the script.

Yeah, script descriptions are not canon, otherwise Faith kisses Buffy on the lips, not the forehead, and the world is different. Scripts are simply guides that are changed and tweaked as the producers want.
Also there was one episode- with a frat house- where Buffy and Riley made love for y'know, a long time- so much so that other people commented on it. 'Around the clock' was mentioned. Pretty sure it was longer than 'Smashed'.
But whatever YVMV.
 
This is Angel, not Angelus. And he then adds that 'she (Drusilla) likes to be teased', as in foreplay. Drusilla simply tells him to hush up, she doesn't disagree. 😀

That's canon, from the actual dialogue. Ouch, poor Spike.

The teasing was when he was Angelus - unless you believe Angel has been screwing Dru behind Buffy's back. Angelus destroyed Dru . What did angel say -First I Killed everybody she loved. Visited every mental torture on her I could devise. Do you really think that after that the pre-show teasing he had used wasn't degrading, painful, demonic torture? You think he left her love notes and plied her with sweet kisses?

She wanted him to hurt her - like he used to. He taught her to like it, to crave it. So Angel dug up those memories of when he had so much fun torturing Dru, smiled and really seemed to relish those memories like they made him kinda...nostalgic. Yeah, it was to get Spike jealous, a way to get dusted and make sure Dru died - but he really did seem to enjoy recalling all the nasty fun he had torturing her into insanity and then teaching her to crave pain.

I'd say, poor Dru. But I would also say poor Dana. YMMV.🙁

YVMY- Seems to me that 'those things' means the activities- degrading, mutually abusive and such. But hey, who cares if he's a demon, 'cause he's hawt and the sex is hawt! *shudder*
***
But with Spike Buffy always fled after she'd scatched that itch- it was 'get some, get gone' (at least after that first time), so maybe- if your interpretation is right- Spike wasn't satisfying Buffy either. 😉

I'm not saying those things were healthy - I never have. I am just saying that her shame is that she realizes she is using him to exorcise her own demons - that's why she keeps letting him in. It makes her feel. She hates him but being with him makes her feel. And yes, he's hot - why do you have such a problem with that? There aren't very many men in that universe who are not hot.

Actually, Buffy hobbled home from her sexcapades with Spike, satisfied, exhausted and sore. Didn't have the energy to go slay. In fact, she forgot all about Dawn, and spent the night more than once. She said Spike was everything she hated, so he had to be damn good in bed for her to get so completely addicted.

Yeah, script descriptions are not canon

Only when you don't want them to be. 😛
Buffy takes this in, freaking. Last night. SO wrong. And SO completely, mind-numbingly wild. Everything she's needed. Escape. Release. Ecstasy. With Spike.

That's not a stage direction that got changed. And guess what - this was after that spell induced marathon - guess even at his best Riley doesn't make the grade.😀
 
That's not a stage direction that got changed. And guess what - this was after that spell induced marathon - guess even at his best Riley doesn't make the grade.

On the comics, Buffy has erotic dreams with Angel and Spike (and Spike and Angel, by the way) and fantasizes about Spike, but no Riley anywhere. 😀
 
The pre-show comes before turning her. I guess it's really best that Spike wasn't into the pre-show.

And let's not forget that Buffy beating Spike and Spike beating Buffy worked quite well... for Buffy. Of course she likes tender - but she also like it rough.

FAITH: Hey, to each his own, man.
 
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