^ Wait. Dude! Xander had just aimed an axe at decapitation level against a guy who was powerless to defend himself (due to the chip), and you expect the intended victim of said potentially lethal axe swing to be tactful? I love Xander. I really do, but he was wrong to try to kill a defenseless creature. I understand where Xander was coming from and, yeah, if I saw someone having sex with my hubby on the video camera, I might grow kind of murderous, too. Even so, I can't fault Spike for his lack of tact in this scenario. After all, he had just been physically attacked. If the only way Spike could defend himself in that moment was to get in a little emotional damage, then so be it. If someone ever tries to kill me, I doubt I'll be scanning my brain for snippets from the Miss Manners column. Spike was tactless, but he also had an axe to his throat for having what he thought was a private moment of comfort with someone who was more or less a friend. I'm inclined to give the guy a break on that one.
I really just can't find fault with Anya or Spike in this particular situation. It's not like they went out of their way to advertise what had gone on between them. They weren't trying to hurt anyone; they were just trying not to hurt so badly, themselves. It's not their fault that some nerds were spying on them. Under those circumstances, I can't blame them for reacting badly to Xander and Buffy. Not only are Anya and Spike both still hurt, but they have now also been humiliated in front of their entire social group (plus nerds) and, in Spike's case, nearly killed. Maybe they said some things that neither Xander nor Buffy liked to hear, but all they did was speak the truth. If anyone is to blame here, it's the trio for spying and Xander for attempted vamp-slaughter.
I don't think Buffy has to be happy about the way the truth of her relationship with Spike came out, but I also don't think she has any real right to be angry with him for telling someone. After all, it was his truth to tell, too. Obviously, it bothered him to be used as Buffy's behind-the-scenes-sex-slave. He told Xander as much, himself, in an accidentally unguarded moment. I think acknowledgment was psychologically important to him. As much as Buffy didn't want to see it, Spike was a person, too, and his emotions were on the line as much as hers. He had a right to react -- and even to react badly -- just as she did. He also had as much a right to tell others about their relationship as she had to keep it a secret. The relationship didn't just belong to Buffy; it was Spike's to react to, as well.
