She did feel as if part of her were asleep or unformed and he was awakening and transforming something in her because she was experiencing passion and lust and longing to a degree she’d never known. She was the “Unawakened Female” to use a romance novel term. The male hero (Angel) partaking in an affair with the much younger physically chaste, emotionally naive ingénue (Buffy). She didn’t expect his kiss to lead to serenity and safety. She wanted the fire. She wanted to jump head first into the unknown with him and follow her heart because “that’s the way its supposed to be”. At this point in her life she believed in what Spike states in Seeing Red, “Real love is wild and passionate and dangerous. It burns and consumes.” She hadn’t yet been burnt by the flames of passion or had her heart broken and become weary of loving or being loved by someone. She thought she could handle the risks he warned her of because the way he made her feel seemed worth the consequences, she didn’t realize that she would lose her innocence and romantic idealism. She had already faced death once and came back stronger, it scared her, it opened her eyes to realities she shouldn’t have had to become familiar with for years, but that was part of her life, growing up quicker than others her age and experiencing things she may not be ready for. She wasn't stumbling blind with rose-colored glasses and thinking these adult feelings were fanciful clichés and "the stuff dreams are made of". If fairytales were real she knew what they had would be the original dark and complex versions.