This is what I posted on another forum.
" didn't like Riley at first but that was mainly because he wasn't Angel. Riley started off as Average Joe with a smidch of superhero. He actually seemed perfect in a lot of ways and certainly from his perspective things were great. He could hold his own against the forces of darkness and he doesn't have the emotional or mystical constraints Angel has.
I think Riley's world crumbled as he fell deeper in love with Buffy. He found out about the morally ambiguous methods of the Initiative, faced Angel and Oz in a few short months he has to change is entire world view on demons and vampires. He lost his super powers and had to contend with the idea that he couldn't invoke the same emotional reaction from Buffy has Angel or even Dracula.
I agree that Riley likes Buffy's strength but Riley insecurity is whether he wasn't strong enough for her. It was a childish reaction but he felt he was losing her and let us not forget that Buffy has her life as a Slayer but Riley lost his Intiative lifestyle.
Also Buffy didn't let him be a part of her slaying life, which is a huge part of her life. But before we think that Buffy thinking of Riley when she's doing this, she's happy enough for him to go alone but just doesn't really want her near her when she's doing to slaying.
Buffy cannot handle emotional trauma that's facing her at all sides. Riley had the right idea when he said, he wanted to take care of her, but he didn't articulate it correctly. Buffy was in the land of not dealing and she's done this before. Opening up can be scary but it's part being emotionally stable and balanced and having well formed relationships. Buffy's actions were not exclusive to Riley but in a romantic relationship sometimes it takes up more significance. Xander, Joyce and even Spike all understood this.
However Riley's response to this is what hurt Buffy. Riley's betrayal wasn't let off on a technicality because the point was that Buffy felt hurt by the emotional responses (albeit on the most basic level) and thrills he was getting elsewhere. Metaphors were mentioned in the other thread I think but that's not really the point for me. Riley was getting something elsewhere that he wasn't getting from Buffy and he was getting it from female sentient beings who closley resemble humans. We almost don't need the metaphor because the betrayal stares us in the face.
I think that Riley didn't feel emotionally needed, not in the way that one might need a boyfriend. Buffy finally realises she does but then it's too late.
As for Riley's return. Many think he got over Buffy way too soon. I'm a little half way. I think Riley started his grieving period when he was with Buffy and that happens sometimes. It's like we shut down, slowly but surely. When he was ready to get married, he didn't wait around, but it doesn't mean he wasn't ready emotionally. It's different for different people."
