Willow's violation

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phoenixrising

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I was rewatching 'All The Way' today and came to the end of the episode where Willow cast the spell to make Tara forget about their fight.

The casting of the spell was horrible enough, even worse was the look of absolute contentment on Willow's face. She had just violated her girlfriend's mind and looked perfectly at ease and even happy with what she had done. I love the character of Willow, but at the that moment, I lost all respect for her. Anyone else feel the same way?
 
I didn't lose the respect for her. I mean sure she did something terrible, but she was addicted. Not saying that's an excuse, cause it's not, but it's an explanation and I just feel sorry for Willow (and Tara too of course).
 
I didn't lose respect for her but I just see it as, in her mind she was doing what she believed to be right or at least, needed to be done. Another example of amigious ethics.
 
I didn't lose respect for her as I know that she only wanted Tara to stop worrying about her. She wasn't in the right frame of mind to realise why Tara was worried because she refused to believe that she was addicted to doing spells. I think it was a major part in Willow's learning and growing up.
 
Willow was exhibiting classic junkie behaviour, for sure. They tend to not see all the options, and seem to exercise the ones that cause the most destruction, to others in the short term, and to themselves in the long term.
 
I found Willow's act horrifying and her contentment over the act. But I understood why she did. I understood . . . but I didn't condone it.
 
K
killerdwarf
Yup, the junkie behaviour is an explanation, not an excuse. The act itself was breathtakingly brutal, even though it had no physical violence to it at all!
By that time in Season 6, I had already lost all respect for Willow.

She had already had a dependence on magick and Buffy's resurrection did nothing but give her more confidence that she could do whatever she felt like.

Talk about Buffy being superior, look at Willow trying to play god.
 
I never lost respect for Willow.

I think it's wonderful she got through all that - though I must admit, that was her low point. Second only to the Bronze with Amy a little bit later.
 
I never lost respect for her... It was one of those, I'm not mad, I'm dissappointed things... I mean... I don't think its fair to judge what she did, because we might not truly understand her reasonings... When she did it the first time, I was more understanding, because she loved Tara more than anything... And I think she truly wanted to make things better... But when she made that promise to go a week without magicks, and then turned around the day after and got dressed with magicks... I just wanted to reach through the screen and slap her to make her smarten up.
 
W
White Heather
I felt exactly the same towards Willow. You feel dissapointed because you know she's good at heart, but it's hard to be angry when you know she has a serious problem.
I fully agree that Willow needed to be slapped for not being able to go even one day without using magic.

My loss of respect for Willow came not from the fact that she used magic to make Tara forget their fight, but from the fact that she looked positively happy about it. The act itself is disturbing, Willow's reaction is horrifyingly grotesque.

P.S.: Love the new banner, WiccanOne.
 
I too was disturbed by her obvious pleasure of getting Tara to forget... And I'd have to say, that I did lose respect for Willow at one point. When she brought Dawn with her to Rack, and then almost got her killed, that was definately my final straw.

But also... She regained my respect once she refused to do the Magicks for Anya when they were all stuck in the house during "Older and Faraway"... It showed me that she was determined... Also made me love Tara more when she told Anya off... I love Anya too... But go Tara!!
 
H
Hitome
I agree your reactions mirror my own
I feel really sad for Willow that she got to the stage where she couldn't see how much she was hurting the one person who loved her the most. It was the start of a slippery slope that lead to a terrible place, but the fact that you go the whole way with her means that you can see how she got there, as opposed to only seeing the damage she was doing.

The look on her face as she snuggled up to Tara after casting the spell makes me think of a cheating lover. She seems to think that what Tara doesn't know won't hurt her, when really she not be doing anything that Tara wouldn't want her too anyway, regardless of weather or not she'd find out.

You can forgive her for one slip up, but I was so shocked by the fact that at the one point when she needed to be loyal to Tara the most; when she promised to go without magic, the next thing she does is betray her and try to wipe her mind of the whole incident. It saddens me that she was so far gone that she couldn't see that her relationship was hanging by a thread.

Her actions after the break-up were terrible too. First she goes off doing wild magic with Amy, then worst of all she shows a total lack of regard for Dawn's safety and nearly gets her killed. I feel sad for Willow that it took that much to make her see that she had a problem, but I respect her for being able to admit that she had a problem and deal with it. I loved that Riley's wife reconised how hard it was for her to give up magic and saw how strong she was, when she had only just met her.
 
White Heather said:
I feel really sad for Willow that she got to the stage where she couldn't see how much she was hurting the one person who loved her the most. It was the start of a slippery slope that lead to a terrible place, but the fact that you go the whole way with her means that you can see how she got there, as opposed to only seeing the damage she was doing.
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I didn't lose respect for Willow. Remember the quote from Xander in ... oh no I forget the episode!... anyway... where he says "Love makes you do the crazy"? To me this paticular instance didn't so much show Willow's addiction to magic as much as her desire to use it for such trival things - like decorating for the party etc... This (to me) shows her desperation for keeping her relationship.

I find it wonderful that there is so much in BtVS that completely relates to real life. I've been in a relationship that hasn't worked and when it ends you're almost desprate - ready to do anything - to keep it from ending. To me, this is what Willow actions represented.
 
Yea.. Being one of the biggest Willow/Tara fans out there.. I have to agree that I think it was necessary to the character development that Willow travelled down that road of betrayl.. They were so perfect, and as most of us know, practically glued to everything going on with the Hellmouth, things rarely stay that way for long.. As much as I hated it at the time, now I can accept everything that happened, and even enjoy the allegorical meaning behind all of the events.

Joss is a genius.. Enough said 😀
 
Amber Benson said:
Yea.. Being one of the biggest Willow/Tara fans out there.. I have to agree that I think it was necessary to the character development that Willow travelled down that road of betrayl.. They were so perfect, and as most of us know, practically glued to everything going on with the Hellmouth, things rarely stay that way for long.. As much as I hated it at the time, now I can accept everything that happened, and even enjoy the allegorical meaning behind all of the events.

Joss is a genius.. Enough said 😀
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I agree 110%. 🙂

I didn't loose respect for Willow at all. I could see myself in her situation. If I had her raw power, I would probably use it for my own gain all the time. I probably wouldn't go quite as extreme as Willow, but I could still see why she did it. She loved Tara more than anything, and she was scared of losing her.

Don't get me wrong, I know what she did was beyond wrong, all I'm saying is that I understand why she did it. If I was in her position, I would have just talked it through, because she wasn't necessarily going to leave her. All couples have fights. Willow made her mistake and learned from it. We all do at some point.
 
I did lose a little respect for Willow. Not afraid to admit it. Not so much at this point, more later on, when she took Dawn with her to Rack's. But in this instance, it is the epitome of lying to the person you love, and more than that, it's a rape of Tara's mind. Tara had her mind violated the year before completely, and before then she had expressed a terror of exactly that thing ("She's a brain sucker?"). To me, that means that Willow not only lied to her, she violated her mind, and terrorized Tara on a basic level. That's not ok.

But, Willow did learn from her mistakes. And Tara forgave her. And in my mind, that scene in Older and Far Away restored my faith in Willow's goodness and Tara's strength.
 
I don't think I lost my respect for Willow or anything like that but it was more like I was afriad of how far she would go. IF she erased Tara's memories then how far would she go magically and all. I was more worried than disrespectful.

Naw Her lowest point in my book were with Amy like Eternie said.
 
I lost my respect for willow as soon as she did the spell and then simled about it. I don't understand how she could do that and how Tara could just forgive as quickly as she did. I think tha tTara took a lot from Willow that just wasn't neccessary.
 
I agree with Asmiley. I was worried that this was the start of her magical addiction. 🙁
 
I never lost any respect for Willow, not when she had the dark mojo issues, not when she put a spell on Tara, not when she took Dawn with her to Rack's and certainly not when she went Dath Rosenberg and tried to destroy the world. I felt more sorry for her, but mostly I felt with her (there is a difference).
And I am not of the oppinion that anything of those things she did were wrong. Maybe putting a spell on Tara wasn't that nice at all and taking Dawn to Rack's was plain stupid, but obviously she didn't do those things because she's super mean and evil and doesn't care about anyone. On the contrary; she loved Tara and the rest of the gang too much to lose them. Willow tends to be weak, unstable and a coward in pressured situations like the ones she faced in season 6. And taking the "easy" way out (i.e using magic to solve all the problems) seemed like such a good option compared to the "hard" way, whatever that could be - Facing you demons maybe?
Fits the substance abuse profile like a glove. That's why I feel with her.

Nicole said:
I lost my respect for willow as soon as she did the spell and then simled about it. I don't understand how she could do that and how Tara could just forgive as quickly as she did. I think tha tTara took a lot from Willow that just wasn't neccessary.
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She smiled because she was happy. Doing magic was fun and exiting hence the getting hooked. Tara was probably too much in loved and impressed to see what was really happening. I'm sure Tara was just as afraid to lose Willow as Willow was to lose Tara. But she did put her foot down and had eventually the courage to leave her.
But I don't understand what you mean with Tara taking a lot from Willow?
 
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