Women partially responsible for sexual harassment

I meant if he said it to someone that didn't realise it was nothing.

Yes though there's a lot of people being offended by things that they have nothing to do with.
 
The HR department job is to protect the company from a lawsuit, not to protect you, so if you are being sexually harassed you would be better off going to your superior and saying "I'd be better off here, doing this because of x" negotiate a promotion of it.
 
The HR department job is to protect the company from a lawsuit, not to protect you, so if you are being sexually harassed you would be better off going to your superior and saying "I'd be better off here, doing this because of x" negotiate a promotion of it.
Holy shit! You're a genius. I always wondered why the upper management were all women. Now it makes perfect sense. I wish you told me this about 5 years ago.
 
Sorry to hear that, I have not been in a similar position but I read career blogs and unless your safety is at risk, you might be better off handling the harasser yourself before reporting to human resources because the law isn’t strong enough to protect you from most types of retaliation, your goal should be to stop the harassment from hurting your career, and then the employee handbook becomes important when you report to human resources, which means you must follow your company’s policy precisely or you risk losing your ability to take the company to court.

And since retaliation is not usually strong enough to make it in court, it is more subtle, fewer invitations to lunch, a cubicle that isolates you from office networks, and project assignments that are boring. This sort of retaliation effectively holds back your career but because you do not have a lawsuit doesn’t mean you need to put up with harassment or retaliation. It means you should try to take things into your own hands.

Try negotiating with the person making you uncomfortable, no matter how arrogant they are, your co-worker will appreciate you attempted to handle things yourself before dragged into a ‘he said-she said’ situation before the human resources department. If your harasser is your boss, then aim high when you negotiate, ask for help to switch departments, and ask to go to a better department with a top manager cause it is in your harasser’s interest to help you.

From Penelope Trunk

"If the harasser will not negotiate with you, assess your power versus his. “Sexual harassment is more about the balance of power than what has been said,” advises Weliky.

When Kate, a high-powered New York City lawyer, was young and working with a managing director, she recalled an incident in which he asked her to “bring the papers by my hotel room, and don’t worry if I’m only wearing a towel.”

She thought the comment was ludicrous and told the whole office. “I could do that because I was on my way up in that firm, and he was doing poorly,” she said. “He didn’t have a lot of ways to make my life difficult. In fact, someone told his wife and she bawled him out in front of his co-workers.”

A great situation but you cannot always depend on your harasser’s wife for vigilante law enforcement. If the balance of power is not in your favor and you got nowhere negotiating, find a new job and leave the offending company–in that order–because it’s always easier to find a job when you have a job, even if you hate the job you have.

Leverage sexual harassment | Penelope Trunk Careers
Sexual harassment is going high-end | Penelope Trunk Careers
 
What's interesting about that video, is that when she does it, people just think she's crazy.
'cept for the last dude. He was the only normal one. It was only when she mentioned fecal matter that he walked away. Incontinence is not a joking matter. I could tell some stories!
 
'cept for the last dude. He was the only normal one. It was only when she mentioned fecal matter that he walked away. Incontinence is not a joking matter. I could tell some stories!

RIGHT. He was the reason why you are not like that because you get a crazy one eventually, the others were normal, being accosted by a women the difference being none of them were apprehensive in a fearful way, annoyed or cautious but not threatened, even when she said let me suck your dick, none were afraid of being raped like a women would be.
 
Woman: My shoulders are so tense, what I wouldn't pay for a shoulder rub?
Man: What would you pay?
HR department: You have been written up for sexual harassment.

That kind of "in kind" thing?

My first thought is that that scenario sounds a bit far fetched, though. While I don't doubt that there has been and will be situations where one (often a bloke) responds in a way he thinks is entirely ok to something someone else (often a lass) has said or done, I believe and hope that noone will have their fingers smacked over innocent banter. A world without banter is not a world I want to live in.

Also, I wish that a wish for a shoulder rub could be just that: A wish for a shoulder rub. In my main circle when I was a teenager, hugs and shoulder rubs were freely given with no strings attached. I like that. As an adult I have very few people with whom those small, friendly touches is a part of our non-verbal conversation. The ones where it is a part of it, lives so far away from me that it doesn't really count. Sometimes, I really miss that.
 
Skanky Vamp
Skanky Vamp
I knew the quote. Was trying to be humorous. I failed. Miserably. Either that or you simply have no sense of humor but I reckon you have to have one to live where you live. I mean... have to be able to laugh at winter for 8 months out of the year.
My first thought is that that scenario sounds a bit far fetched, though. While I don't doubt that there has been and will be situations where one (often a bloke) responds in a way he thinks is entirely ok to something someone else (often a lass) has said or done, I believe and hope that noone will have their fingers smacked over innocent banter. A world without banter is not a world I want to live in.
Sadly, that was a true story. When my other business got bought out by a megacorporation and I went to work for them. Happened within the first week of my being there. I was forced to work in a cubicle, a cubicle, and she came in to go over some crap then complained about how tense she was, etc.

In retrospect I think it was done to set me up and try to drive me out, but the HR rep at the time was a chick and she dismissed it. I think if it were a dude HR rep I would have been screwed.
 
EDIT: it was actually shortly after that, that I changed my board name to Mr. Pole, because he always seemed so miserable doing his job too.
 
Professor Walsh
Professor Walsh
I had to google it to find it in English. One of the translations reads: "Against stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain."
Sadly, that was a true story. When my other business got bought out by a megacorporation and I went to work for them. Happened within the first week of my being there. I was forced to work in a cubicle, a cubicle, and she came in to go over some crap then complained about how tense she was, etc.

In retrospect I think it was done to set me up and try to drive me out, but the HR rep at the time was a chick and she dismissed it. I think if it were a dude HR rep I would have been screwed.

If I believed in hell, I would say that there is a particularly hot place there for people like that. They make the real work to stop sexual harrassment in the workplace more difficult. While she might not have meant it to have the undertones that you felt were there, she could just have made that clear and gotten on with things. You can be a bit intimidating, fair enough, but as grown-ups we must be capable of sorting out misunderstandings without calling for a referee.
 
Skanky Vamp
Skanky Vamp
Oh yeah! He said ugly is on the surface but stupid is skin deep? That saying?
If I believed in hell, I would say that there is a particularly hot place there for people like that. They make the real work to stop sexual harrassment in the workplace more difficult. While she might not have meant it to have the undertones that you felt were there, she could just have made that clear and gotten on with things. You can be a bit intimidating, fair enough, but as grown-ups we must be capable of sorting out misunderstandings without calling for a referee.
No, I didn't think there were any undertones. She said 'what I wouldn't pay for a shoulder rub' or words to that effect and I simply said 'how much?' or words to that effect. It wasn't... sexual, just conversational. But I still carried that sexual harassment complaint on my record with them for 6 months. Couldn't fight it. And if the HR rep thought there was merit it could have been taken further.
 
Professor Walsh
Professor Walsh
I have no words. Or, wait, are you familiar with what Schiller said about stupidity?
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