All Xander had to do was make the decision to not physically abuse his wife and/or children. All he has to do is say to himself 'hey, I'm not going to do that, I have control of my destiny'.
I can argue this till the cows come home, because I'm so positive that I'm right! Of course, when it comes to a matter of opinion - everyone's opinion is as right as mine if they are as positive in their head of their opinion.
LOL did you quote Buffy like 3 times in there?? 😛 Well yea he could have, but he didn't, probably because he wasn't sure of himself. But still, he did it because he was afraid he'd hurt peoples he loved.
I like to argue a lot too, but I'm not here to change your opinion! So I'll leave it at that. Xand is the man!