Xander was way out of line yelling at Anya like that

[SlayerFest]

He had no right...but it's understandable. He was hurt and angry. I mean, I would be pretty ticked off if I were Anya. He leaves her at the altar and then gets mad at her when she sleeps with someone else. But again, it's realistic.

 

[PassionBecoming]

Here's how I see it: No, Xander probably shouldn't have screamed at Anya like that. He did leave her at the altar. He did hurt her.

However, say you dated someone for over two years, got engaged and came thisclose to getting married. You lived together, saved each other, went to Hell and back together. Something happens that leaves your relationship a little up in the air, but there is still love there. But then you catch your partner bonking not only someone else, but a soulless demon, and one that you despise at that.

I can see why he would be upset that Anya turned around and so easily slept with someone else. I also think that Anya and Spike were disgusted with themselves for it, because they were trying to find solace but instead hurt the people they cared about.

 

[caitaintdead]

Xander's reaction to the situation in front of him was not okay. That is obvious. He hurt someone deeply and she responded by trying to hurt him and then by succumbing to sleeping with someone out of loneliness and self pity. I can complete empathise with Anya as her actions taken were similar to what mine would have been... Actually, I've done basically the exact same thing in the past. Uhmm... Minus the whole demon face thing.

Xander responded to this by acting in a very emotional way and was completely out of line. It was the last thing that Anya needed at that precise moment. I could see so clearly that she already felt bad enough about what had happened and the last thing that she needed was Xander showing up acting like he had done nothing wrong and placing blame back on Anya.

I think it is obvious that Xander was in a dark and nasty place and (wrongly) acted out of emotion. Was he wrong? Sure. Is it a reason to dislike him? Absolutely not.

 

[Ripper666]

Noone likes to see how someone you love sleep with another person. In my eyes he was right to be angry. The fact that Anja had the feeling to excuse is evidence enough for me to see that she knew exactly that she hurted him! Xander still loved her and she knew that. She didn't gave something on the feelings Xander has just as he didn't really thought about her feelings when he threw the wedding. An eye for an eye a tooth for a tooth... It's just the question if this makes anything better...