Derogatory only in the sense that his character dynamic, his self assurance, and his tendency to be the natural leader in almost every situation sometimes leads to Angel making decisions that seem uncaring, or even sometimes downright cruel, when viewed by others.
No, only derogatory in the sense that you're casting his motivations in a completely different light other than what is shown. I've given examples where Angel has helped- ALONG with other people, simply because it is right, nothing in it for him, no example to lord it over others and be the boss.
I mean, to me I think Angle helps save the world because he doesn't want people to suffer and he can help, not because he resents others trying to change the world without his permission.
Maybe there's the whole wanting to help because he's super-guilty but what you have said is that 'Angel
has to be the one in charge, and excuses it by saying its for the greater good, but actually it's 'cause its only what he wants.'
That's not actually being an alpha male. That's just being a huge jack-ass.
I may criticize Angel for the way that he took that happiness away from Buffy, and some might call what he had W&H do to his friends mind rape when he helped Connor, but neither I nor anyone else can truthfully say that his actions were out of malice or simply the need to stroke his own ego.
1) Angel didn't take anything away from Buffy, the Oracles did. They saw the future and told Angel that armies would come and the slayer would die sooner than most. Angel- thinking he was nothing more than a liability as a human, initially wanted to be made a vampire again- NOT to take anything away from Buffy (although he probably thought things would go back to to how they were, gypsy curse et all). The Oracles give him the
only option- this or she dies (along with anybody else).
Again, you can say you don't like it, or (as I do a bit) find it a rather trite and hackneyed plot device, but to basically sneer and say 'eh, well look Angel couldn't stand being a side-kick so he took Buffy's happy away' is just twisting the facts to fit a certain narrative.
2) Mind-rape is not a thing. It doesn't exist. Otherwise we have to come up with various different kinds of 'rape' that don't involve
actual sexual assault. Like 'mind-rape', 'soul-rape' and others, just to clarify things.
4) You've already made your position on Angel's motivations perfectly clear and now you seem to be wanting to backtrack. You've said (and some others clearly agree) his
ego is all that matters and it is the final arbiter.
To me that's pretty simplistic pov since it negates Angel's incredibly negative view of himself and his past actions and how he struggles with them.
Oh yeah:
3) It's funny how the two points you give seem to be Angel screwing himself over to give the person he loves the most a second chance at life. It doesn't actually scream ego to me, or that the only opinion that truly matters is his own. With Buffy Angel made the 'mistake' of believing the connection to the higher powers who 'know all' or whatever. With Connor it was more guilt at not being able to do more, be better. Feeling that Connor's life had been ruined because Angel hadn't been good enough.
Connor even says that at the end- 'you didn't do enough to save me' he tells Angel.
So Angel tells Connor he's sorry, and that he loves him, and then- because that's what Connor wanted/expected- Angel does 'enough' to save Connor the second time around. He did whatever it took.
I mean truly, what a bastard.