Angel with Buffy: Abusive Boyfriend?

[Wishing Oceans]

How do I feel? No, I don't think Angel was abusive. Overprotective? Yes. Manipulative? Yes. Slightly controlling at times? Yes.

I agree. Angel was never really abusive, but he was a bit questionable... 😀

The very fact that Buffy was 16 at the time when they became involved was

Yeah, that always annoys me. In my mind, I simply cannot imagine a girl that young being with a guy that old. I actually have a 16 year old sister, and I know that if she ever tried anything with anybody, let alone someone 10 years older than her, she'd be dead meat. 😀

And as Anita says, if a comparision must be made, S6 Spuffy was far more abusive - from both parties. Spike manipulated Buffy, attempted to alienate her from her friends, and fed off her sadness. Buffy took him for granted, used him as her personal sex toy, and as a punching bag. Buffy hated herself and took it out on Spike.

Ah, yes, the sad truth of S6. 🙂 I really don't understand why, since he loved her, he tried to drag her back into the darkness with him, (Dead Things: "But you always end up in the dark. With me.", "Maybe it's time for you to come outside.") but I suppose it was also Buffy's choice. But anyway, to be really fair, we can't exactly compare Angel with Spike when he didn't have a soul.

Also wishing oceans, it's nice to see someone who doesn't see the Bangel relationship as a perfect romantic dream-boat like everyone else seems too. I too see a bit of a protector/child or father/daughter relationship there at times. Which makes the romance involved all the more unnerving.

I know, right? It's odd... I can hardly bring myself to actually watch them make out because Buffy looks quite similar to my sister, and Angel looks quite similar to my father. 😀

Also, Joan, this is very random, but on your banner I'm pretty sure it's supposed to say "this is the EFFECT of the Tabula Rasa", not "this is the affect of the Tabula Rasa."

After all: Effect= Reactant from a cause (the cause being the spell) Whereas affect= to influence someone/ thing

 

[Joan the Vampire Slayer]

But anyway, to be really fair, we can't exactly compare Angel with Spike when he didn't have a soul.

I agree. People seem to forget this important fact sometimes.

Also, Joan, this is very random, but on your banner I'm pretty sure it's supposed to say "this is the EFFECT of the Tabula Rasa", not "this is the affect of the Tabula Rasa."

After all: Effect= Reactant from a cause (the cause being the spell) Whereas affect= to influence someone/ thing

You know, I think you're right...well, too late to change it now, I guess. (Someone made it for me)

 

[Wishing Oceans]

OK, just saying, how CREEPY is it that Angel has someone spying on Buffy, 4 years after they've broken up?

Also, as for Buffy's age when Angel claimed to fall in love with her, she would've been closer to 14 because she turned 16 in Disc 4. So before S1 started, she would've been in season 0 disc 6. Therefore, she had turned 15 four months ago, and would be turning 16 in eight months. 🙂

As far as Angel watching her, seeing her heart and soul, then falling in love with her, it reminds me of these conversations from Him:


BUFFY You don't even know this R.J. Not really.

DAWN (sits up in the bed) I do know him. I know his soul.

BUFFY Really? Dawn, he wasn't even on your radar yesterday.

DAWN It isn't a crush. It's love. I love R.J.

BUFFY Again, since yesterday. Dawn, it's awfully fast.

Orr,

WILLOW But you don't even know him!

ANYA Yes, I do. I looked into him and saw his soul.

WILLOW He was walking away, so unless his soul was in his ass -

ANYA A.J. is my best friend and my dearest darling -

WILLOW It's R.J. And what you were picking up on was his deep caring and devotion to me.

 

[TheGrandmaster]

This thread reminded me of that hilarious scene in Angel Season One, when Buffy hits Angel and he punches her back, and she's really suprised. Made me lol.
Some of the replies in this also remind me of my old English class where you continuously pick apart pieces of prose looking for tiny details that you can write a massive paragraph on. In my opinion, there's not much substance to this 'abusive boyfriend' concept. He is just a bit over-protective.

 

[PrincessBuffy16]

That was in Sanctuary. It made you laugh? I never saw anything funny whe girl punches a guy, and then he hits her, but well, maybe that's just me.

 

[Wishing Oceans]

That was in Sanctuary. It made you laugh? I never saw anything funny whe girl punches a guy, and then he hits her, but well, maybe that's just me.

Well, I for one think it's pretty annoying how she thinks she can hit someone all she likes, but it's some huge crime for them to hit her back. Like, I don't believe in the "you can't hit a girl" thing. IMO, that was created a long time ago, when women were considered weak and helpless, like little children. But women aren't weak, they're on the same level as men, so it doesn't really matter. 😀

 

[PrincessBuffy16]

Well, I for one think it's pretty annoying how she thinks she can hit someone all she likes, but it's some huge crime for them to hit her back. Like, I don't believe in the "you can't hit a girl" thing. IMO, that was created a long time ago, when women were considered weak and helpless, like little children. But women aren't weak, they're on the same level as men, so it doesn't really matter. 😀

Ok, I agree, she really thinks she can hit anyone, because she know she has a power. But that wasn't about did he hit her or not. He hit her because of Faith. They were fighting about Faith, someone who almost ruined her life, someone who Angel understood, and someone who he kissed in front of Buffy in Enemies. And then he hit love of his life because of Faith. It wasn't about that he hit her, it was why he did that. I'm sure that punch didn't hurt her on her skin, she felt the pain on the inside. You probably don't see it that way, but well, that's why you're Spuffy 😀

 

[thevikingsgirl]

More condescending and controlling than abusive, IMO. Though I suppose those things could be considered abusive in themselves. Always making paternalistic decisions based on his idea of what was best for her. Fortunately, that meant him leaving, for which I was grateful since I can't stand Bangel.

---------- Post added at 09:48 AM ---------- Previous post was at 09:44 AM ----------

And FWIW, I think the season 6 Spuffy relationship was mutually abusive but that Buffy was the one with the power, and was more guilty of abuse towards Spike than vice versa.