Being an adult rocks

[Christopher]

Being an adult can suck sometimes: bills, mortgage payments, work and that kinda shit. There are times however when you can go into a supermarket, buy an Easter Egg & eat the whole thing. It's not Easter yet, I've ruined my lunch but I don't care. You can also just go into a shop and buy alcohol without hanging round the front asking someone to do it for you. You can make an entire bowl of cookie dough and eat as much of it as you want without getting moaned at. You don't even have to have dinner, you can just have cake and Baileys milkshakes if you want.

When my ex used to go out for the night, she'd ask "Will you be ok?" as I stood there with a huge bag of Tesco cheesy puffs, Coca-Cola, sweets, a massive slab of Dairy Milk chocolate, a crate of beer and a new game trying to look like I'm going to miss her. Then she'd say "What will you eat?" and I would glance at the food around me, genuinely thinking that - in some shape or form - most major food groups are represented in at least some way.

Sometimes I look around my flat and I think "My god, this is MY place! I purchased and am paying for this like an adult!" Then I sit in my pants all day watching Buffy and eating only biscuits and cheddar straight from the pack, because I can.

Sundays are the best because we inevitably have a reasonable lunch and then at dinner time we're like "Shall we have a roast?" and we can't be arsed, and about 3 hours later I'm making cheese on toast. For Sunday dinner! My mum would be turning in her grave if only I'd murdered her when I had the chance. What's also ace is being able to slap your mum in the face with the "my house, my rules" line and have her nod knowingly at you like "fair play, fair play".

You know what else is ace about being an adult? Remember at school you'd get told off for something with the immortal phrase "You wouldn't do that in your own home, so don't do it here"?

Well I now do that stuff in my own home JUST BECAUSE I CAN.
Fog up the bathroom window and then draw a massive cock and balls on the glass? CHECK.
Do a skid on my kitchen floor in my socks? CHECK.
Flick peas at my cat? MUTHA****IN' CHECK.






Due to the Easter Egg I do feel sick now though but who's gonna tell me off?

NOBODY! 🙂

 

[zobothehobo]

I do most of that stuff anyway. I eat what I want when I want. I can get to the store from my house easily and I buy most of my own food. I sleep when I want. I'm in my room naked all the time... and most of the time I leave my room I've only got a long shirt or dress on (rarely underwear). I blast my music in the middle of the night... I basically live as if it is my house. Probably part of the reason dad gets so mad at me....

 

[caitaintdead]

This is a great post. With everything that has happened recently in my life - financial troubles, a job that takes up way to much time and energy with minimal payoff and other grown up issues like feeling lonely, feeling guilty about not seeing grandparents and not writing to family overseas etc etc, I have been spending a LOT of time wishing I was a kid again.

It may sound silly, but I want to be told what to do. I want my pay to come through and for my mum to demand half of it for savings and not be in the position to say no.

I want someone to tell me that a decent dinner is not an entire packet of crackers with Brie cheese and dip (straight from the pack of course, just another thing we have in common) because it will make me feel like crap the next day, lack energy and my skin to break out, not to mention that it will make me feel grossly bloated.

I want my mum to demand on a Sunday that I turn off Torchwood, bring me a cup of coffee and some toast with avocado and tell me that I should shower, get dressed and go for a walk.

Right now I'm walking home wondering where I can find the energy to wash my work clothes, make a healthy dinner, do the dishes and put fresh sheets on the bed. When I was a kid I didn't have to worry about any of that. I could stroll home at 3pm instead of 7pm to a clean house, no problems except how long I could get away with chatting on the phone and most importantly to two people that unconditionally support me and love me.

Being an adult is great, there are times where I do the same thing as you and look around my villa and realize that I'm paying off something that is entirely mine. I can wear a skirt that is short, and a shirt that is offensive, but really, is it worth it?

I'm sick of playing house and I don't know why this is something that we spend our childhood preparing for. I wish I was 11 again (the best year of my life), fights with the parents and playing at the park. Just one more day of it please.

 

[Christopher]

This is a great post. With everything that has happened recently in my life - financial troubles, a job that takes up way to much time and energy with minimal payoff and other grown up issues like feeling lonely, feeling guilty about not seeing grandparents and not writing to family overseas etc etc, I have been spending a LOT of time wishing I was a kid again.

It may sound silly, but I want to be told what to do. I want my pay to come through and for my mum to demand half of it for savings and not be in the position to say no.

I want someone to tell me that a decent dinner is not an entire packet of crackers with Brie cheese and dip (straight from the pack of course, just another thing we have in common) because it will make me feel like crap the next day, lack energy and my skin to break out, not to mention that it will make me feel grossly bloated.

I want my mum to demand on a Sunday that I turn off Torchwood, bring me a cup of coffee and some toast with avocado and tell me that I should shower, get dressed and go for a walk.

Right now I'm walking home wondering where I can find the energy to wash my work clothes, make a healthy dinner, do the dishes and put fresh sheets on the bed. When I was a kid I didn't have to worry about any of that. I could stroll home at 3pm instead of 7pm to a clean house, no problems except how long I could get away with chatting on the phone and most importantly to two people that unconditionally support me and love me.

Being an adult is great, there are times where I do the same thing as you and look around my villa and realize that I'm paying off something that is entirely mine. I can wear a skirt that is short, and a shirt that is offensive, but really, is it worth it?

I'm sick of playing house and I don't know why this is something that we spend our childhood preparing for. I wish I was 11 again (the best year of my life), fights with the parents and playing at the park. Just one more day of it please.

This is very much in contrast to my current feelings, maybe because I've just come out if a long term relationship (which can end with your partner feeling like a parent if things go badly) and am enjoying the freedom. I'm guessing your feelings echoed mine when coming out of a serious relationship too. I think in your case Cait you need some stability in your life- a constant (Desmond) to stop you going OTT. Certainly some of the things we've both mentioned are fun only in moderation and not 24/7, hence the jovial tone in my OP.

I don't know how much to reveal in public, but I know that my one wish for you is for a lovely bloke to treat you like you deserve to be treated: with respect. I know for people as such as you and me people can overlook that and think we are all about partying and being crazy all the time. Have you considered a housemate? Having someone around can be incredibly annoying, but also reassuring and good at keeping self destructive behaviour to a respectable level.

---------- Post added at 11:32 AM ---------- Previous post was at 11:30 AM ----------

I do most of that stuff anyway. I eat what I want when I want. I can get to the store from my house easily and I buy most of my own food. I sleep when I want. I'm in my room naked all the time... and most of the time I leave my room I've only got a long shirt or dress on (rarely underwear). I blast my music in the middle of the night... I basically live as if it is my house. Probably part of the reason dad gets so mad at me....

Sounds like you have terrible parents to be honest. I'd never let a child of mine do most of the things I mentioned.

 

[zobothehobo]

Sounds like you have terrible parents to be honest. I'd never let a child of mine do most of the things I mentioned.

Yeah, that's fair. My parents are quite lax. Dad more than mom. Mom's house has had more structure for quite some time. Truth is, I've lived with dad with so little structure for years... like since middle school. I like it.

 

[TaylorSwift]

You know...I like the freedom I gained from when I was kid to the age I am now. I'm only 20 and I live with my parents and I'm in college and I feel great about it..the things you mentioned, Cait, cooked dinner, clean house...that's really great to have. When I travel with my friends and we have to clean a house we rented and do all the things our parents do..thats is so hard and tiring, to be honest.

About food..my mom cooks so well I eat almost everything she brings to the table but I LOVE junk food...my parents don't say anything because they're used to it and our junk food is traditionally healthier than I don't know, American ones..ahaha.

I must say, my parents don't put restrictions on my clothes or what I do...I'm quite normal and one must say respectful without being trashed on..but I love how can I go out and go back home in the morning because I'm wih people who my parents trust and I have the time of my life...being of age is awesome! I'm not quite an adult yet but I see all the difference from when I was a teen.

 

[Christopher]

Yeah, that's fair. My parents are quite lax. Dad more than mom. Mom's house has had more structure for quite some time. Truth is, I've lived with dad with so little structure for years... like since middle school. I like it.

It's fun but it's not good for you when you're growing up. Not that I'd be a restrictive or particularly strict parent myself. Structure is very important during formative years, more so then people seem to realise.

 

[TaylorSwift]

Comments on this post
Christopher agrees: You've got it sorted. I think when you move out you'll handle it well

Thanks Chris! That made me smile 🙂 I hope I'll handle it well..ahaha.

 

[caitaintdead]

It's fun but it's not good for you when you're growing up. Not that I'd be a restrictive or particularly strict parent myself. Structure is very important during formative years, more so then people seem to realise.

I see where you're coming from but I beg to differ. My bestie grew up with a dad and household that lacked so much basic discipline and structure. She was allowed to do whatever she wanted - her bathroom was filthy, there were always people crashing in the living room, people smoking weed, and drinking in large amounts. She has now grown up to be one of the most together, mature, responsible people I have ever met (including grown ups).

---------- Post added at 07:38 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:25 PM ----------

Kean agrees: So much this. Right now I'm eating dry cream crackers for the 3rd day in a row. Being an adult isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Oh God, please tell me the cracker/cracked up thing was intentional? If so it made me giggle.

 

[zobothehobo]

I see where you're coming from but I beg to differ. My bestie grew up with a dad and household that lacked so much basic discipline and structure. She was allowed to do whatever she wanted - her bathroom was filthy, there were always people crashing in the living room, people smoking weed, and drinking in large amounts. She has now grown up to be one of the most together, mature, responsible people I have ever met (including grown ups).

I'm not like that... my room is dsgusting, but I did the drinking large amounts thing (at mom's under her supervision, mind you) and I don't do pot. the rest of my family does, but I don't. I've also started eating healthy ballance meals too... all on my own. I get that some structure is important... and I had structure ar my mother's house (where I had to be most of the time because the schedule settled by the court had us with mom more). And to be honest, the structure decline was rather gradual. Now I'm here at mom's and I do all the things I did at dad's... with the exception of here on weekdays we have dinner as a family (which sucks). I'm not that much of a mess, really.

 

[sisterofmercy]

I haven't been an adult long, but ever since I moved to London I've loved the freedom of just doing whatever (though before that I basically has free reign anyway due to lovely liberal parents). Unfortunately living with some of the most horrible people I've ever come across kind of stifles the fun of it somehow, but I'm looking forward to finding a place away from them next year and live in the way that I want. No smoke in my house, tea and beer whenever I feel like it and I'll be able to put my own touch into how the place is decorated. The food thing is still a bit of an issue due to never having money, but I've found my meals to be a lot healthier than I'd get at home which is good.

It is nice to come home and not have to worry about money or getting your clothes washed or doing household chores though, don't think I want to go back just yet.

I have to say though, since becoming 18 I've felt like drinking is so not a big deal anymore, now that there's no 'struggle' to get it. I don't drink to excess anymore because I know and have experienced the consequences. Give me some cake and some green tea rather than vodka and coke any day. Hmm, maybe this is what it's like to be a real grown up!

 

[Skanky Vamp]

I always thought being an adult was NOT in the doing whatever you wanted, but doing what was needed. Being able to do whatever you want always seemed more childish than adult.

 

[sisterofmercy]

Sounds like you have terrible parents to be honest. I'd never let a child of mine do most of the things I mentioned.

I disagree. My parents are the same and always have been, yet it's worked out rather well for us. My mother has always worked nights ever since we were little and my dad never really spoke to us (despite living in the same house), so we were left to decide things for ourselves sometimes, like when to go to bed. We only really had one rule which was to come home before dark- my neighbourhood is so safe that there was never an issue of safety. My mum didn't have time to cook so it was frozen food a lot of the time, but like I said in my other post, it encouraged me to want to be better and made me be more efficient so I can get things like cooking done.

As far as the loud music goes it's usually my parents who were the ones to do that on the weekend, when they come home from a gig or the pub. 😛

I think the lack of structure forced us to think for ourselves and consequently because of that, my siblings and I are all very mature and responsible now. It may not work for everyone, but it's certainly worked for us.

 

[Ms.Trick]

You know...I like the freedom I gained from when I was kid to the age I am now. I'm only 20 and I live with my parents and I'm in college and I feel great about it..the things you mentioned, Cait, cooked dinner, clean house...that's really great to have. When I travel with my friends and we have to clean a house we rented and do all the things our parents do..thats is so hard and tiring, to be honest.

About food..my mom cooks so well I eat almost everything she brings to the table but I LOVE junk food...my parents don't say anything because they're used to it and our junk food is traditionally healthier than I don't know, American ones..ahaha.

I must say, my parents don't put restrictions on my clothes or what I do...I'm quite normal and one must say respectful without being trashed on..but I love how can I go out and go back home in the morning because I'm wih people who my parents trust and I have the time of my life...being of age is awesome! I'm not quite an adult yet but I see all the difference from when I was a teen.

I also live with my mum and my sister and go to college and I've got all the freedom I need. I can go out like I want, where I want, but I only have to say "I'm going back home around...9pm, after midnight or not at all" otherwise she worries too much. She just needs to know if it's normal or not if I'm not back at a certain time. And if it is something she doesn't really approve, she let me do anyway, but she just doesn't help me. Like when she wasn't fond of the idea of me going to a 4-days festival with just one friend when I was 17, she didn't say yes, but didn't say no either. So I bought my tickets, my friend and I went buying a tent and in the end, my mum was happy that I had managed without her supervision. Since, we have like a tacit agreement: "If I don't really approve, well you are major so...it's your business to take care of". So I pretty much like the freedom I have!


About the clean house...Haem, my mum, my sister and I are very messy. And for the cooking, my mum always hated that, so when we moved and had a nicer kitchen, I took over the cooking. But now I always ge back late home so I only cook for myself because my mum and sister and already eaten. With the time, it became a habit to eat individually. But once a week at least, we have a urge for very bad eating so we just go to a fast food 😀
And I often take chocolate in my room but she doesn't make any comments, because she has the exact same addiction :heart:

My mum had never been restrictive about clothes either (the only restriction was the price, because she pays the clothes but I didn't have to care about that the two years I was working)
And I totally see the difference from when I was a teen! Back then, I had to ask for permission to go anywhere (around 13-16 years old) and she didn't always give it to me but after that she was less difficult.

Even if I have a lot of freedom, I still don't really feel like an adult tough. There are so many things I don't want to take care of alone yet (like administrative and money stuff).
But I really miss working. Earning my own money was great and made me grow up a lot. I didn't depend on my mum to buy myself clothes, computers and the like, and I could even help her by asking her to supress my pocket money and by paying a big part of the charges of my studies. It was a great feeling to feel a part of the active life.
I'll fully be an adult when I move into my own place, because then I won't have the choice but to take care of paying all my bills, administrative stuff etc...

 

[Christopher]

To people saying that that a less structured upbringing can still lead to responsible people later in life, I agree with you. I was always getting into trouble and had a horrible childhood at home including family abuse and being made homeless at 17 but all of these things have only made me more determined to be a success/not like my family- I'm now one of the most responsible and logical people I know. I daresay that I wouldn't have achieved a lot of the things I have now if I'd had an easier life when I was younger. That situation however was not ideal nor is it something I'd want any potential child of mine to have, I wish I'd had a decent childhood so like Cait I can look back on it and even wish to experience it again even. Kids are supposed to enjoy their time of life while also learning manners and how to grow into a good person, not achieve those things through fear and anger. It's also most likely that kids with upbringings like myself, Cait's mate and SisterOfMercy will grow up to be idiots who end up addicted to drugs or in jail, I think success stories from that kind of childhood is an exception rather then a rule.

Anybody that doesn't teach their kids right from wrong is unfit to be a parent in my opinion.

 

[Kean]

Oh God, please tell me the cracker/cracked up thing was intentional? If so it made me giggle.

Yeeeah...um...it was absolutely pun intended. *shifty eyes*

 

[zobothehobo]

To people saying that that a less structured upbringing can still lead to responsible people later in life, I agree with you. I was always getting into trouble and had a horrible childhood at home including family abuse and being made homeless at 17 but all of these things have only made me more determined to be a success/not like my family- I'm now one of the most responsible and logical people I know. I daresay that I wouldn't have achieved a lot of the things I have now if I'd had an easier life when I was younger. That situation however was not ideal nor is it something I'd want any potential child of mine to have, I wish I'd had a decent childhood so like Cait I can look back on it and even wish to experience it again even. Kids are supposed to enjoy their time of life while also learning manners and how to grow into a good person, not achieve those things through fear and anger. It's also most likely that kids with upbringings like myself, Cait's mate and SisterOfMercy will grow up to be idiots who end up addicted to drugs or in jail, I think success stories from that kind of childhood is an exception rather then a rule.

Anybody that doesn't teach their kids right from wrong is unfit to be a parent in my opinion.

Maybe I didn't explain... my parents taught me right from wrong. Sometimes I think I'm the only one of my sisters who got it... but they did. Just because I'm allowed to eat what I want, say what I want, and do what I want doesn't mean I didn't learn that stuff. Like I said, the lack of structure came kinda gradually and I didn't go off the deep end. I don't have and haven't had a lot of structure, but I do know right from wrong.

 

[sisterofmercy]

To people saying that that a less structured upbringing can still lead to responsible people later in life, I agree with you. I was always getting into trouble and had a horrible childhood at home including family abuse and being made homeless at 17 but all of these things have only made me more determined to be a success/not like my family- I'm now one of the most responsible and logical people I know. I daresay that I wouldn't have achieved a lot of the things I have now if I'd had an easier life when I was younger. That situation however was not ideal nor is it something I'd want any potential child of mine to have, I wish I'd had a decent childhood so like Cait I can look back on it and even wish to experience it again even. Kids are supposed to enjoy their time of life while also learning manners and how to grow into a good person, not achieve those things through fear and anger. It's also most likely that kids with upbringings like myself, Cait's mate and SisterOfMercy will grow up to be idiots who end up addicted to drugs or in jail, I think success stories from that kind of childhood is an exception rather then a rule.

Anybody that doesn't teach their kids right from wrong is unfit to be a parent in my opinion.

I think that's actually quite an offensive thing to say to be honest. My sister is now 24 and working for a Michelin starred restaurant and is far from an idiot. The fact that I'm in uni and have got A's/A*'s in pretty much every subject I've ever done at school shows I'm not an idiot either. My brother is more practical but he's shaping up to be a very good chef. Having a lack of structure does not logically entail a bad moral code, that is an invalid deduction. My parents were always good with the discipline until we were about 10, then it was up to us to do what was right and face the consequences. Obviously they were there if there was a problem, but the independence allowed us to become our own people. Despite being unstructured, my mother, siblings and I always spoke to each other and had an open channel of communication, which I think is more important than simply being told what to do. I respect my parents as they respect us. I know I'm not in the minority either, as a lot of people I know who have been raised in liberal households have become extremely responsible, reliable people with a good moral code.

Personally I think that nobody has the right to judge other people's backgrounds, different things work for different people. That does not mean that because they were not raised 'to your standard' that they will be bad people and end up in jail.

 

[Christopher]

I think my definition of a bad upbringing is different to other people's. I don't think SisterOfMercy's upbringing is 'bad', maybe there were some mistakes made but I wouldn't class it as a poor childhood at all. I shouldn't have included you in that list. Zobo, I do think you have had a pretty bad upbringing- considering some of the things you say happen on Twitter I feel it was (and still is) pretty poor and that it has negatively effected both you and your sister. I'm not trying to insult you because you know I think you're great, more being honest.

EDIT: Mercy, I am concerned I'm coming across as some psycho conservative here. I am a very liberal person and would be a very relaxed parent compared to the majority I know.

 

[Skanky Vamp]

Anybody that doesn't teach their kids right from wrong is unfit to be a parent in my opinion.

But maybe they were just exercising their right as an adult to do whatever they want. Maybe they do not WANT to teach their kids right from wrong.