I know a lot of people who hate the cookie dough speech, but I'm not one of them. Some people find it clumsy and cheesy and while I'd agree with that, I think the sentiment behind it rings true, well at least in my interpretation of it.
I find that many interpretations of this speech are often coloured by people's 'shipping preferences. People will pick out their favoured lines to demonstrate how they 'prove' that Buffy is really seeing 'vampire X' in her future.
So to whom is the speech directed? Who gets to enjoy yummy cookie Buffy?
Well for me, it always comes back to the dialogue, but I'll try and be careful not to miss anything out.
I'm going to annotate, for want of a better word, the dialogue leading up to the speech and include the speech itself to give it a bit of context. Now please understand all of this is merely my own subjective opinion on the matter.
ANGEL
I'm getting the brush off for Captain Peroxide. It doesn't necessarily bring out the champion in me.
BUFFY
You're not getting the brush off. Are you just gonna come here and go all Dawson on me every time I have a boyfriend?
This is important! I wholeheartedly believe Buffy is being honest here. Her love life actually isn't any of Angel's business at this point, but she is quick to say that Angel isn't get the brush off for Spike, so while she does send him away, I don't think it's because she's
choosing Spike over Angel, as some Spuffy fans claim.
ANGEL
That'll end well. (walks away, leans on a tombstone)
BUFFY
What was the highlight of our relationship? When you broke up with me or when I killed you? I'm well aware of my stellar history with guys... (sighs, leans beside Angel) And, no, I don't see fat grandchildren in the offing with Spike, but I don't think that really matters right now. (chuckles) You know, in the midst of all this insanity, a couple things are actually starting to make sense. And the guy thing"” (sighs) I always feared there was something wrong with me, you know, because I couldn't make it work. But maybe I'm not supposed to.
Angel comments that a relationship with Spike wouldn't go well and I'm glad she brought up their own relationship which was arguably just as disastrous ( it did feature Angelus trying to destroy the world if you remember) but she also seems to agree that she doesn't see a realistic future with Spike (fat grandchildren). However, it's also important to note that Buffy is quick to say that it doesn't really matter right now. So I kind of think that Spike not being the long haul guy isn't not as important as what she's about to say to Angel, about her issues with guys in
general.
Here it comes....
BUFFY
(looks at Angel) Because"”OK, I'm cookie dough. I'm not done baking. I'm not finished becoming whoever the hell it is I'm gonna turn out to be. I make it through this, and the next thing, and the next thing, and maybe one day I turn around and realize I'm ready. I'm cookies. And then, you know, if I want someone to eat"” (eyes go wide as she catches herself) or enjoy warm, delicious cookie me, then...that's fine. That'll be then. When I'm done.
Now the reason some people find this speech a little unbelievable is because they think that 'finding themselves' at the age of 22 feels more like an excuse than a genuine reason not to commit, but you know what? People are different. Some people fall out of the womb knowing who they were meant to be but some don't. I believe Buffy is the latter and you know what? Well done for her for realizing that, because many are too scared to admit it.
As I've always said, you cannot separate the love from the lover and I think Buffy realizes that. What she used to do is what a lot of fans tended to do. Define her with a ever present someone else: "Buffy belongs with Angel" "Buffy and Spike have that real
connection"
While in the past she has often said, she only sees a future with Angel, now, her words of 'commitment' seem a little more ambiguous. And why wouldn't it be? Why should she put pressure on herself to make it work when she's still finding out who she is and what she wants?
And Angel isn't totally incorrect when he mentions that her role as the Slayer may further complicate things. That role as brought her in contact with many painful experiences, including dying! Are we saying those experiences haven't affected Buffy? Also there is a superiority/inferiority complex...
Buffy wanted it to work with Angel, and even Riley...Spike? Well circumstances we different. Her lack of commitment to Spike wasn't really about Spike but about where she was emotionally. Things like death and attempted rape can present monumental issues to get over, I'd imagine.
ANGEL
Any thoughts on who might enjoy"” (sighs, irritated) Do I have to go with the cookie analogy?
BUFFY
I'm not really thinking that far ahead. That's kind of the point.
So Angel tries to push her for an answer and Buffy gives him a non-committal reply and rightly so!
For many Bangels, they tend to focus on the next line Buffy says...
BUFFY
(calls after him) Angel. (he turns to look at her) I do... sometimes think that far ahead.
But they sometimes miss...
BUFFY
Be a long time coming. Years, if ever.
Not forgetting that Angel said...
ANGEL
Any thoughts on who might enjoy"” (sighs, irritated) Do I have to go with the cookie analogy?
So, in short all we have is that she has thoughts as to who she may end with. So while Angel is in the running, I don't see this as a sign of commitment. To me, the sign of committing is, well, committing itself and the whole point of the cookie dough speech is that Buffy isn't ready to do that.
I'm a firm believer that relationships don't appear in vacuum with only nebulous concept of love guiding them. She must have realized through her three major relationships that circumstances do play a part which is why I believe she brought up 'Fat Grandchildren' and the 'Highlights' of Bangel.
If she is finding herself, she's also trying to find the sort of life she wants and that will determine the sort of love she has. How can she know if Angel or Spike are part of her end game if she's still trying to figure out what her end game is? If she knew that, surely that would invalidate the speech: "Hey Angel, once I've found myself, I'll definitely be with you". Nothing in that scene is remotely that concrete or overt and deliberately so!
Again, this isn't me siding with Spuffy fans either. Buffy seems just as unsure about her future with Spike.
I may be totally off base but I never saw the speech being about the guys, it was about her. Does it give Bangels hope? Of course it does, just like it gives Angel hope. Does it sink Spuffy's ship? Of course not! Cookie dough is malleable and even though she's unsure of a comfortable future with Spike at that point, it doesn't mean things can't change and it doesn't mean Buffy can't change. She will, and she knows that.
To me, I like how the speech celebrates the understanding of a changing identity and how it affects relationships. It's not about Bangel or Spuffy, it's about not putting pressure on one's self to make a relationship work. It's about giving one's self time.
I believe she was being honest in this conversation. It wasn't a brush off, nor was it a commitment. She never rules out Spike, but the best she can offer Angel is "Sometimes I think I
might be with you in the future". A far cry from...
Buffy: Angel, when I look into the future, a-a... all I see is you! All
I want is you.
She's certainly not saying that now, because she's changed, as people often do. She's not immune to experiences and memories shaping her. To me, that journey of self-discovery is far more exciting than who she's going to end up with and ultimately it's going to be more important than that because it will help
determine who she'll end up with.
So without this knowledge and without Buffy's actual, verbal commitment, all a shipper will have is hope. As long as they don't believe they are objectively forecasting Buffy' s future relationship prospects as much as they projecting their own desires and expectations, but hey, don't many of us do that when regarding a piece of fiction in some shape or form? I know I do.
😉.
