Dead Man's Party-Did the scoobs act wrongly?

[Miss_Sunnydale]

I think that they did. I mean, she was having some problems and they all jumped on her. She isnt perfect. She made a mistake. I really could have KILLED Xander. He made me sooo mad. They should have been more understanding. I mean she had to kill the love of her life. Her Soulmate.

 

[Spudd168]

I think what made it worse was that they didnt know about half the bad stuff she had to do, or had done to her. Like her friends might not of known she got kiked out, they didnt know about her expolsion(dunno if thats a word???) and they sure as hell didnt know about her having to kill Angel. I think Buffy should have been mad at Xander because it must of got back to her that Willow restored his sole, and that Xander was ment to tell her, and he didnt. Which i thought was so mean! But i think Buffy thought she had let everyone down in a way, and thats why she left and also how would you return after doin that to the love of your life, she didnt think she would ever see him again. How do you explain that to your best friends.

 

[Jacklyn]

Actually, she didn't discover that Xander was supposed to tell her about restoring the soul until Season 7 in the episode Selfless.

 

[Mango]

I think what made it worse was that they didnt know about half the bad stuff she had to do, or had done to her. Like her friends might not of known she got kiked out, they didnt know about her expolsion(dunno if thats a word???) and they sure as hell didnt know about her having to kill Angel.

Yeah, that is a point. I never thought of it that way. When I first saw it I was so angry at them and I thought they were being way too harsh on her, but you're right, they didn't know some of what Buffy went through. :nopity:

I guess though, that they should have known that she wouldn't run away for no reason. They should have tried to take her feelings into account.

 

[Joamna]

I defenitly think they were to harsh on Buffy. I understand that they were angry that she just left them and didn't contact them at all while she was away. And also they didn't know all that happened to her, but I don't feel that they gave her an honest opportunity either. Instead they did the opposite; Willow didn't come when they had planned to meet and instead of having a quite dinner where they could really talk they throw a big party...
If they had big issues with her leaving they could have let her know that instead of trying to act as everything was as ususal..

They should know her enough by now to know that she wouldn't just abandon them for no good reason,,

 

[Wicked]

i dont think they were too harsh. yeah she went through a lot and its up to her if she wants to run away. but her friends and mum had a right to be upset. she left them to worry about her for months. they couldnt help that they were worried and hurt. especially since she was gonna leave again after she just got back. she had her reasons, but they had theirs too.

if someone you loved vanished for months with barely a word, what would you do? how would you feel? id be pretty annoyed and hurt!

 

[QueenCordy]

Well. Yes and No. I understand were Buffy was coming from not being able to handle things then her mom telling her not to come back so she didn't. She could have tried talking to someone though. Willow would be the obvious choice.Although Xander had no right to say the things that he said to her.

 

[SilentWhispers]

I say yes and no.

They were really harsh on Buffy, about her not letting them know where she was, if she okay or anything.

But at the same time, I would be really mad if I thought that my best friend didn't think I could always be there for her. I mean she should have felt they were there for her enough to understand her situation and help her through it.

But they should have said that ^...they shouldn't have just yelled and made her feel so bad she would leave again.

 

[Jonut]

i think the scoobies had best intentions at heart. They were geniuely worried and wanted to vent that as soon as they saw her, but they could have handled it in a much better way, it ended up seeming to buffy as an attack and everyone ganging up on her in front of so many people. Being away from so long, knowing what she had to face when she came back, everyone attacking her at once mustnt have been a pleasant thing to have to go through.

However, they were worried, she did hold back a lot from them, she had a hard time with Angel and how it all panned out, if she had of talked then maybe they could have helped but she didnt and chose to get away which is understandable if not a little selfish to all those she left behind.

I kind of feel bad for both parties in that argument, but I guess everyone needed to get it out of their system

 

[Kimm]

Although I think their intentions were good, I also think they were too hard on her for running away. They made it all about them instead of stopping to ask her what had happened to make her have to leave.

If it were my friend my first response would be to ask what ws so horrible that she felt she had to run away. Instead they were too focused on how horrible and worried they felt....I didn't think it was right.

 

[PrincessZombie]

I don't think that they were too harsh on her at all. I know that lots of crappy stuff happened to Buffy, but she shouldn't have just run away for several months, without even letting her friends and family know if she was alive. That was very selfish and immature. And I think that the Scoobies were just worried about her, and upset that she left.

 

[Maddy]

Yeah, good point. Think about it. Buffy was still a teenager and she just ran away from home without justifying her
actions or calling ANYONE to tell them she was at least alive. For all they knew she could have been laying in a ditch dead somewhere! They had EVERY right to be mad with her, especially Joyce. Just because they were angry it didn't mean they didn't love her, but running away didn't solve anything.

 

[Wanabee-slayer]

I agree they were tottally harsh she just had to do the hardest thing in her life and here they are barking down her neck

 

[Gunnlover26]

I am going to say yes! Unlike many of the people who love to see when the Scoobies have conflict, I'm not one of those. I like them happy and together. They were harsh at her party to confront her like they did. But, I admit she was wrong for running away.

 

[VisionGuy]

I have to say that the scoobs did act wrongly. Not including Joyce because she had every right to be upset. Buffy got expelled, kicked out of the house by her mom, lost a friend in Kendra, and had to send the love of her life to hell. Who wouldn't run away after all that drama?! Nobody told the Scoobies to take over for her. They could've just gone on with their regular lives. And they shouldn't go around saying Buffy dragged them into anything because if I remember correctly in the pilot,Buffy didn't want Xander and Willow to be involved in the slayage in any way. They both insisted in helping out. Joyce on the other hand had every right to be upset. I mean that is her daughter and she had just found out monsters are real so of course she'd be upset.

In conclusion, what Buffy did was wrong but The Scoobies should have been more supportive on her returning other than being all avoidy and angry.

 

[Hero]

I don't think they were to harsh on Buffy at all. You can only keep something inside for so long before it's bound to come out. Buffy should have had more respect for them than she did. Yeah, she was dealing, but I felt like she was taking the pain out on them in a way by leaving them high and dry, especially her mother. Buffy should have realized that when Joyce said "if you walk out of this house dont even think about coming back," she was just speaking out of anger. The one thing I do disagree with was that they shouldn't have started with Buffy in front of all those people. How embarassing. lol

 

[zombie.apparatus]

I think they were way too harsh on Buffy... could you imagine after all the stuff that has just happened to her inside a small time peroid and then you come back hoping for support and that warmthness after you havent been home in ages and then everyone treats you like crap.... she felt so miserable and the way everyone treated buffy really upset me especially the fact that willow and xander were harsh to0, was horrible and wrong.

 

[drtroy]

I agree they were way 2 harsh, and yes buffy should have said something. "hey I need some time away,to think things through." Now I'm sure if she would have said that everyone would have said no..its your duty to be here..to slay..and your young...blah..blah..and she still would have been judged..

Xander as usual flew off the handle...it amazed me how easily buffy would forgive them..when willow almost got dawn killed..when giles could have gotten buffy killed with the muscle relaxors and so on...

Yes they all made bad choices..but the one thing I really liked about Buffy she didn't throw it back in everyone's faces...she let bygones be bygones..and Xander..was king of making everyone feel crappy..he just kept bringing up her/everyone's mistakes..and faults.

 

[eponinethen]

(Trying to ignore the last part and not bring Faith into thing 😀)

I agree they were way 2 harsh, and yes buffy should have said something. "hey I need some time away,to think things through." Now I'm sure if she would have said that everyone would have said no..its your duty to be here..to slay..and your young...blah..blah..and she still would have been judged..

At least then she would've given them a chance to understand her. It's not fair of her to just assume they wouldn't understand. And she was the one to abandom them, she is the one who should put some effort into earning their friendship again..

 

[Edmund Blackadder]

While i don't believe that the gang we're right in their handling of Buffy, i do believe they had a right to say what they said.

The problem with this group is, as close as they are, they constantly keep secrets from each other, and this is where the lies. This is how Spike managed so effectively to break the crew up, in the Yoko Factor.

Another thing people forget, even though these people fight demons and act all adult, Willow, Xander, Buffy and Cordelia are still teenagers. Still struggling with emotional,personal and familial issues, and they do believe that they are alone in the world, as most Teenagers do, hence the need to resolve their personal issues.
This also helps to understand why Buffy took Joyce's threat to heart, simply because she has no real frameof reference, other then to take what her mother says as fact.


As for the whole 'Buffy not holding onto issues'...well Like Epo pointed out, there was Faith...granted thats an extreme case, but Buffy, could have tried a little harder to understand where she was coming from....and in Dirty Girls, theres still some animosity towards the 'Rogue Slayer' even though she has served time for her crime AND returned to the fold of the Slayer.

Another instance showing Buffy, may forgive(to an extent) but NEVER forgets, and does use the 'throwing in your face' tactic in Selfless.

XANDER
No, of course not. You think we haven't seen all this before? The part where you just cut us all out. Just step away from everything human and act like you're the law. If you knew what I felt"”

BUFFY
I killed Angel! Do you even remember that? I would have given up everything I had to be with"” I loved him more than I will ever love anything in this life. And I put a sword through his heart because I had to.

WILLOW
And that all worked out OK.

BUFFY
Do you remember cheering me on? Both of you. Do you remember giving me Willow's message: Kick his ass.

WILLOW
I never said that"”

XANDER
This is different"”

Now, that incident was over 4 years ago, and she still remembers that single line, even though she had so much going on.
This indicates to me, that played on her mind time and again over the years, only difference, she bit her tongue, until she was in a position to use it.

Now, i'm not saying she was wrong to use it, but, to say she does forgive, well, i don't believe so, not entirely....and thats what makes her Human.....


Another time she is pissed off at Giles, when she is turned back to herself after the Faith-Swop, she is annoyed that Giles didnt recognise that 'Buffy' wasn't her but Faith in disguise, even though a few weeks before, Giles had turned into a Demon and she recognised him......