Dead Man's Party-Did the scoobs act wrongly?

I understand why everyone was upset with Buffy's leaving. Willow needed someone to talk to, but in a way, I think her & Buffy's friendship is different than Buffy's friendship with Xander. It's closer, because they are both girls. Not to say that Buffy doesn't looove Xander just as much, but it's just different. I thought Willow handled the whole situation alot better than Xander did. Xander just got on my nerves. He just doesn't like Angel & his jealousy got really old after a while. He lied to Buffy in Becoming & he was so against bringing Angel back when what Angel had become wasn't his fault or choice. When he called Buffy an idiot, I wanted her to hit him hard. At that point, he had lost nothing & he had no idea what Buffy had gone through or what that would feel like.
 
From the viewpoint of Buffy's friends-they didn't know exactly what had happened in her battle with Angel. From their perspective, Buffy running away may have looked like part of a pattern.

1. Episode "When She Was Bad"-Buffy pushes her friends away, only to realize belatedly that those friends are the targets of the vampires who are trying to resurrect The Master.

2. Episodes "Becoming Pts. I & II"-Buffy goes off to fight Angel by herself, while having Willow try the spell to restore his soul. In the meantime everyone else is left open to the attack by Drusilla and crew. Giles is abducted, Willow is put into the hospital. From Xander's perspective, it may well looked like an attempt by Buffy to control the situation to her liking (not kill Angel if she didn't have to) while leaving everyone else at risk, near disaster once again.

And after that business, Buffy simply flees without telling anyone what had happened, and without caring for her duties as a slayer.

I think that the way her friends acted-avoiding talking to her until Xander basically tells her off -was understandable. What annoyed me was how they planned that awful party for her. If they didn't want to deal with her, they shouldn't have had a party at all.
 
OK personally I thought Buffy should have PUNCHED Xander, Willow, and her mother. They were all being jackasses to her. Her mother DID basically throw her out of the house in season two, yet she's mad because Buffy really left? Xander was being totally insensitive. Usually I think Buffy overreacts to things but in this case, I understand perfectly why she'd run away. She had SO much thrown on her in such a short time that her friends were real jerks for treating her that way.

On the other hand, Cordy DID actually tried to defend Buffy, who turned around was mean to Cordy, which I thought was uncalled for.
 
Yes, I actually think they did. Buffy had just had to kill the love of her life, been kicked out by her mom, and she was wanted for murder. The poor kid was allowed some time to deal, I think.

And, as you guys said, the only person she really owed to talk to was Joyce. The Scoobies, though they may be her friends, have no right really to be mad because she didn't let them know anything.

And, you know, I always wondered why they did bother to pick up the Slaying. It never really made sense. *shrugs*
 
I think from an outside ADULT perpective they were a bit hard on her, but we are talking about teenagers here, not known for the most rational well thought out behavior. All hormoney and stuff...

The adult (Joyce and Giles) acted as I expected. Joyce was pissed as a mother should and Giles was mostly concerned. Were they too hard on her. yep but that is human isn't it?
 
I think that Willow acted like any normal person would,she was glad that Buffy was back but there was still that awkwardness between them because they were both going through something and they couldnt talk to eachother about it.and i think when Buffy tried to leave for the second time Willow had the right to act the way she did,and have a go at her,i mean Buffy was just gona leave again.but i think Xander did over react and was a bit mean to Buffy,yes he missed her and they didnt have a clue where she had been for the last few months,but he was coming at Buffy in a whole other direction,he was mad because of Angel being the reason that she left,and he's always been threatened by him.
Ok yes they didnt know where Buffy was but at least they knew that she was alive,because she went home and got her clothes before she left,they should of just understood that she needed to be alone and that she was going through something.they were only teenagers and when Joyce told Buffy to leave if she walked out the door,i think Buffy did what any teenager would do and leave.when we're at that age we dont realise that sometimes things get said that people dont really mean.
 
Yes, I think the Scoobies acted wrongly. They had no idea what she was going through and to pass judgement so quickly without letting Buffy to open up eventually made me upset during this episode.
 
I don't think it was wrong, I mean, I would've acted that way if she'd been gone and I thought she was going to leave again... well, I would've acted that way if she was going to leave in the first place... but anyway, they definetly were a bit hard on her...
 
Yeah they did. I don't see why they were angry in the first place. It's not like she's gonna get killed. I mean, she's the slayer.
 
The Watcher said:
Yeah they did. I don't see why they were angry in the first place. It's not like she's gonna get killed. I mean, she's the slayer.
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Are you actually stupid or did you take a course?

How is a Slayer called?
Just a quick reminder 'One dies yadda yadda'.
That means Slayers die.

BUT their problem was more to do with the fact that after the big fight she just left. For months there was no contact.
They have a right to be angry at that.
She is supposed to care for them like they care for her.
And to use her mothers 'if you leave this house...' cheesh I cannot count how many times at 16 my parents said that to me then an hour after I walked out, I was sat drinking coffee in the lounge.
 
L
Ladybug
You really are an ass. But a funny one.
Bored of the Dead said:
Are you actually stupid or did you take a course?

How is a Slayer called?
Just a quick reminder 'One dies yadda yadda'.
That means Slayers die.

BUT their problem was more to do with the fact that after the big fight she just left. For months there was no contact.
They have a right to be angry at that.
She is supposed to care for them like they care for her.
And to use her mothers 'if you leave this house...' cheesh I cannot count how many times at 16 my parents said that to me then an hour after I walked out, I was sat drinking coffee in the lounge.
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Her mom had no right to act like Buffy was all in the wrong though because she did basically kick Buffy out.
 
Crushed Dead Boone said:
Her mom had no right to act like Buffy was all in the wrong though because she did basically kick Buffy out.
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No she didnt. I cant count the number of times my parents have said something like that to me when we were arguing. Parents dont mean it when they say stuff like that. There is no way in hell she meant for Buffy to leave and not come back. So when Buffy did leave, shes allowed to be upset!
 
S
Spirit_Of_Fred
ooh, WICKED awesome banner! (i think ive punned this pun before...)
When I saw this episode for the first time I remember watching the scene at the party at Buffy's house where Xander, Joyce, Cordelia, Willow, Oz and all are standing around Buffy and Joyce and Xander are having it out with her. Cordelia coming to Buffy's defense in her argument with Xander, that was great! I thought it was an extremely interesting scene, a necessary one, and I was annoyed because the zombies were closing in to break it up. I was thinking something like "you obnoxious undead, can't you pick a better time??"
 
Wicked said:
No she didnt. I cant count the number of times my parents have said something like that to me when we were arguing. Parents dont mean it when they say stuff like that. There is no way in hell she meant for Buffy to leave and not come back. So when Buffy did leave, shes allowed to be upset!
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Plus, we have to remember what Joyce had just been told.
Not that Buffy was seeing some guy, or that she had joined a street gang.
She had just been told that her daughter, her 16/17 year old daughter is a Vampire Slayer, a 'one girl in all the world' dealy that must kill the monsters.

With everything that Joyce had been put through in that year, not least finding out Buffy had slept with Angel WHO, it turns out is a Vampire.

Joyces words were more of the motherly 'please stay here, be safe' but she had to be confrontational as a means to seem authoritative.

If Joyce had said anything else and acted any other way that would have been wrong.
 
I think Joyce and the others had a right to be mad at buffy for leaving and making them worry, but they practically attacked her in this episode! especially Xander. i really wish Buffy found out that he lied about the spell so she could throw it back in his face. :bite-cha:
 
For the most part, I didn't have too much to say about this episode but I did find several quotes that I thought were either cute or funny, (which I posted all together at the bottom).

Oz tells Buffy that she is no longer wanted for murder, which is good but makes me wonder what evidence did the police have to clear her?

The mask Joyce hangs in the bedroom: Ugly.

At the end when they were ganging up on Buffy... made me uncomfortable. I could only watch it once.

Giles comments on the stench of the cat as he puts the now alive-dead cat in the cage. Sadly I know exactly what he is talking about because a few days before I re-watched this episode, I found a dead kitten near my back door [after a few days of hot weather]. double sad face :bluesad: 🙁

I loved seeing Giles threaten Snyder.

I thought it was funny at the end when Buffy and Willow call each other names.

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JOYCE: I thought I'd hang a few pieces in here. It cheers up the room.
BUFFY: It's angry at the room. Mom. It wants the room to suffer.
:elol:
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SNYDER: Yes. And while she may live up to the not-a-murderer requirement for enrollment, she is a troublemaker, destructive to school property and the occasional student. And her grade point average is enough to... (PAUSE) I'm sorry. Another tingle moment.

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OZ: We should figure out what kinda deal this is.
I mean, is it a-a gathering, a shindig or a hootenanny? : party2:

CORDELIA: What's the difference?

OZ: Well, a gathering is brie, mellow song stylings -- shindig: dip, less mellow song stylings, perhaps a large amount of malt beverage -- and hootenanny, well, it's chock full of hoot, just a little bit of nanny.
:coolman: ::dance::

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XANDER: (to Joyce) Generally speaking, when scary things get scared: not good. :scared01:

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GILES: You're powerful in local circles, but I believe I can make life very difficult for you, professionally speaking. And Buffy will be allowed back in.

SNYDER: Sorry. I'm not convinced.
Giles grabs him by the lapel and pushes him against the filing cabinet.

GILES: (with a grin) Would you like me to convince you? :evilgrin2
 
I love Giles' approach to dealing with Buffy's issues. He's awesome.. plus funny 'Look at my mask isn't it pretty! It raises the dead. Pfft, Americans.'
He finds a way of getting her to confide in him, so she can feel better.
 
JustAnnie said:
Yes and no. They should have tried to be more understanding, but so should Buffy. She was gone for months, and didn't even bother to give them a call! They had no idea if they were ever gonna see her again, or if she was even alive. I'd be pretty mad myself! And also, we don't know everything that happened that summer between the scoobies. Seemed to me like Wilow had been really upset the whole summer cos she worried so much about Buffy. We all know how protective Xander can be over Willow, and I think that was part of the reason he was so mad.
They all seemed to be avoiding the topic at first, trying not to talk about it. I think they were worried they'd yell at her. But when Willow saw Buffy packing again, she just couldn't hold it in anymore. And when it had first started, Xander couldn't hold back anymore either.
And I also think it was good for them to get it out. If they hadn't, it might have been lying there underneath the surface, and in the long run could have ruined their friendship. Noone should ever bottle up their feelings!
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I agree with most of what you said. I don't think that Xander and Willow really thought of the fact that if Buffy had stayed there was still gonna be this distance thing between them. She would've never been able to truly talk about what had happened between her and Angel. I honestly think that if she would've stayed in Sunnydale that odds are she probably would've gotten herself killed. So yes, even though a person should never really runaway from their problems I think that Buffy was right in doing so. Her running away from everything probably saved her life and she doesn't even know it.
 
I thought Xander was way off base with his judgments. Xander told Buffy to kill Angel when that was not the message Willow gave him. He also hurt Willow with his hidden relationship with Cordelia. He really goofed up so many times in Season 2 that to turn around and accuse Buffy of acting wrong I was like, "huh". It's even more funny now when in later episodes he starts the affair with Willow whom he ignored for affection in the previous seasons.

I thought Willow was right with her and the real problem I see here is the fact that Buffy did not tell them what had happened in that final confrontation. Buffy's mom I got sick of though because Joyce did tell Buffy to leave and so she did.
 
I thought everyone was in their right to act how they did in this scene, even Buffy.

Buffy did have a lot to deal with and she wouldn't have been able to face up to anybody after everything she had lost. She needed alone, I'm-no one time to, ironically, remember who she was. The whole 'You told me to leave' thing always seemed like an excuse to me for Buffy's real reasons. Whether her Mom had said that anyway, Buffy would have still felt the need to leave because her loss of Angel was too great. So she was right in the sense that no one else would every understand what she went through.

Joyce was right to get mad for her leaving. Like so many of you have said on here- your Mom may say 'walk out and don'r you dare come back', but they never ever really mean it. It's all a matter of pulling rank- she was desperate to keep her daughter safe inside. The same daughter who a second before had defiantly just said 'You can't stop me'. Then she tries to move on, and just forget it all when Buffy returns only to find Willow arguing with her because Buffy is going to just up and leave again. Damn right she'd get angry. She's a Mother who didn't know where her daughter was for months. That's a kind of intense worry few will ever experience and then when Buffy is gonna leave again, yeah, that worry and upset turns to anger.

As for Xander. We know he's the heart of the Scoobies so not only did he feel his own betrayal and worry but he also knew Willow's and Joyce's and Giles'. So he was mad on behalf of everyone. As when Buffy tells Joyce 'I didn't do this to punish you!', Xander is the one who says 'Well, you did. You should have seen what you put her through'. Xander is angry at Buffy because of what she put everyone else through more than everything. He's going into his role of white knight guy again.

And Willow- yes she's gonna be mad because like she said; Buffy was her best friend. And she wasn't there for her all those months. All Buffy cared about was herself; even when she returned she didn't ask about Willow, only worried about herself. I'm not saying she didn't have reasons it's just that was going to really hurt Willow's feelings. And after being gone for so long, Buffy expects Will to just drop everything she'd planned to hang out with her. And then on top of that just as Willow's coming to try and make nice again she finds Buffy once more packing to leave.

They were all within their right. Just the feelings had been bottled up for so long that when Buffy started packing again everyone just snapped. It took a zombie attack to make them come together fluidly; doesn't matter what they've been through, they still care about one another.
 
S
sosa lola
Word to everything you said
H
Hello Cutie
You've just saved me having to make a post as long as yours saying the same thing!! :P
T
tone
Finally some sense in this topic..
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