Sure, she actually did say it in Chosen right before he died, but my impression of that is that Buffy said it just to be nice to him since he was sacrificing himself to save them all. I think it`s obvious and easy to tell that Buffy tried really hard to say it and look believable at the same time. She struggles. But even Spike can tell that she`s lying by saying "No you don`t. But thanx for saying it!". In other words "thanx for trying to make me die as a happy man".
Putting my shipper voice aside for a moment, I have to disagree with the "Spike can tell that she's lying," statement. On a one occasion Joss himself has pointed out that the moment Buffy says "I love you," to Spike in Chosen she really does mean it and she really does love him.
"Spike is the person in her life right now. What I basically told [James and Sarah] was, 'Play the romance, be proud of him, love him when you say you love him, love her when you say she doesn't love you. Forget about the crumbling world, for that period of time it doesn't exist." ++ Joss Whedon
This was in reference to the scene you're discussing and comes directly from Joss Whedon himself. So the statement that Spike knows Buffy is lying when she says she loves him, cannot possibly be true. It can be an opinion and it can be yours and anyone else's who chooses to adopt it, but it cannot be a fact or else Joss wouldn't have stated the above.
Grab a cup of coffee and some nibbles my friends, because this is about to get wordy. And also quite possibly where I become a little bit too shippy for my own good.
What this scene has always said to me (even BEFORE Joss confirmed it with the above statement) was that Spike loved her when she told him that she loved him and that Buffy truly loved him when she said it, and because he loved her so much he denied that she loved him so that she would let him go and do the one thing that she's always wanted - live her life normally.
I don't believe that Buffy would have told Spike that she loved him, if she didn't. I don't think that is a word that comes so easily to her. She said it to Angel, she said it awkwardly in a conversation about love with Giles, and at the end in Chosen she has said it to Spike. Do I think that she would have said it if the world wasn't about to be ending? No, I don't. Not because I don't believe she loved him, but rather because I think she did and it just didn't need to be said.
I think her actions, the way she believed in him, the way that she changed him, the way that she put her faith in him and gave him that confidence that he could be a better man - those are all of the ways that she said she has loved him over the later seasons and those ways were just as significant or maybe more so being as subtle as they were than the big, "I love you," in Chosen.
I mean, her statement that she's not ready for him to not be there is enough and the fact that she pointed out to Angel that Spike is in her heart, that's love enough right there. I'd like to believe that if you love someone as faithfully and unconditionally as Buffy loved Spike and you were given that comfort and support unconditionally no questions asked or anything expected in return - that when you were at your most vulnerable state - then yes, that is love. And in loving someone like that, I believe Buffy when she told Spike that she loved him.
Now, I've probably mangled something that has a Jane Epenson ring to it, really I can't remember who said it and to be honest I'm coining another friend (
the_royal_anna @ livejournal) of mine in the Buffyverse, so the thought belongs to her. I just borrowed it to make my point.
I saw this scene play out one way while I was actually watching the night it aired and I've seen it play out so many different ways since, every time I re-visit it. But one thing was ALWAYS clear to me from the very beginning until the VERY end, Buffy LOVED Spike. I mean, she REALLY LOVED Spike with everything she had. And it was so beautiful.
And so when he says to her, "No you don't. But thanks for saying it..." and then goes on to say, "Go on then..." - " No"¦it's for me to do the clean up" - "Gotta move, lamb" - " I mean it, I gotta do this " - " No you don't" - "Now go!"
This is Spike doing what he does best when it comes to her, what he will always do wherever Buffy is concerned - protecting her. Telling her that, "yes, I know you love me - I've always know it - but I'm not going to let you die down here with me while you've still got life left in you, so I'm going to act like I don't believe you, thank you, and then give you some instructions to follow." And that is EXACTLY what he does here. If you watch the scene and really pay attention...he says, "Go," and then he proceeds to tell her this is what HE has to do and SHE can't be part of it, and then he says, "Now, go!"
And what he's really saying is, "I love you and I know you love me, but you have to go and live your life now and I'll do this because I love you."
Dying to protect to the woman he loves, so that she can live.
I don't need words to tell me that Buffy loved Spike or that he loved her. All I have to do is look at their eyes and the way they're emotions are speaking for them. It's beautiful. And do you know, I think I would have been completely okay if she hadn't said it much in the way Cordelia almost said it to Angel BEFORE she stopped herself. It was already know that LOVE was there and very much present.
But, I think the fact that Buffy did actually say it out loud and looked him directly in the eyes when she said it and meant it from her heart after telling Angel that Spike was IS in her heart, means something so much more that I don't think I can quite put my finger on.
Spike knows that he CAN'T let her burn with him, so what does he do? He gives her herself, he gives her her freedom, and he let's her go in the only way that he knows how even when he can see every atom of her being loving him in that moment, he let's go and choses life for her instead of darkness with him, ashes that have burned away. He will be remembered, he was loved, and more importantly he knew that she loved him and he can die knowing that she will get to live her life.
How can you argue with love like that or question whether one did or didn't love the other when it's so painfully obvious they did. They BOTH did.
Is that it, am I done now?
//Em...I hope I haven't stepped on anyone's toes. Sorry, if I did. I wasn't trying to lecture or say anyone was wrong in their thoughts, these are just my humble opinions. Take them as you wish, please remember there was no harm meant.
🙂
