All of the above would be wonderful except for a truth so consistent that it might just as well be a law of nature: No matter how intense, how mind, heart, and spirit consuming a first love may be, (and I have said before that I have no doubt that Angel and Buffy were in love and that it was a first love for each of them) first loves almost never lead to lifetime partnerships. Cling to that "almost" if you want to, but the truth remains that Angel has a better chance of getting a sun tan than he does of spending his life with Buffy. Cling to the Shanshue prophesy too, it's your only hope.
Go and find a dozen typical happily married couples and ask them if their partners were their first loves. Ask fifty, or a hundred couples, and the answer will be the same: First loves are wonderful, but their major purpose is to prepare us for our REAL loves, the ones who, ideally, are the ones we are to spend our lives with. I still have feelings for my first love, and any honest person will say the same thing, but as much as I loved her, I wouldn't trade the love that I have now for a dozen of her. That's what REAL love is.
Does Buffy love Angel? I have no doubt of it. Does Buffy love Spike? I have no doubt of that either. Will she spend her life with either one of them? That remains for th ALL Powerful Joss to decide, but I believe that if the answer is yes, then the one she is ultimately with will almost certainly be Spike, not because their love is any more real than that shared by Buffy and Angel in earlier times, but simply because their love is the love shared by two adults.
If you give me a Buffy and Angel get another chance as adults and it doesn't work out then ok maybe I could go along with it. But that hasn't happened so there is NO WAY that I will EVER go along with what you said up there.
Belittleing what they had just because it was the first time either had been in love? I just don't understand it. What they had was REAL. Probably the most REAL feelings either has ever felt for another. I know first love doesn't always last but quite frankly alot of times neither does second and third. The order in which you fall in love has no real reflection on the feeling it creates.
I have a question for ya, do you think what Spike and Dru had was REAL love?