MergedLoki agrees: i agree. but what do you mean by he had to leave b/c they brought so much joy to each other?
The curse. The details of the curse were sketchy at best. Now that Buffy and Angel were embarking on a redefinition of their relationship who was to say that what Angel regarded as "true happiness" was not also being redefined? What if they got to a stage in their relationship where simply being together, holding each other, telling each other "I love you", became Angel's definition of "true happiness"? It could have happened, unlikely, but certainly a possibility. Staying together was just far too risky and frankly, unfair to the both of them at that place in time.
In the first three seasons of Buffy I though it was a very one sided, unfair relationship. With Buffy doing most of the work and I would actually say that Angel didn't deserve her.
I think alot of the one sidedness was because we were seeing the story from Buffy's POV. Buffy pursued Angel, no question about that, but considering their situation Angel had major reservations as to whether being with her was the right thing. In the end it was something he couldn't fight and they became a couple. However, I do think it is unfair to say didn't pick up the slack on his side of the relationship.
Before "Surprise" Angel was constantly there for Buffy both as a friend and later a boyfriend but also as someone who could help shoulder the burden of slaying.
When She Was Bad it was Angel that tried to initiate a dialogue between them when she returned home, she dismissed him. He continued to help her figure out and fight the vamps thatwere rtrying to raise the Master and it was his his arms she folded into when she finally broke down at the end of the epidose.
Some Assembly Required Angel opens himself up to Buffy and admits that he is jealous of Xander and that he is worried about what a relationship between them would mean for her but also, that he
wants that relationship. In
School Hard he gives them information about Spike (not as much as he could have mind you) and he helps out when the school is under siege.
Reptile Boy he finally gets that pushing Buffy away can be as damaging as being with her. He asks her out for coffee, he made the first official move into "dating". Which, btw, is something I'd wager he had never actually done before.
In
Halloween he is there waiting for Buffy in his nice little "normal boy shirt" trying to be that guy for Buffy. While he is off doing that Buffy is trying to be what she thinks is Angel's "normal girl". Throughout the entire ep Angel protects her and in the end he reassures her that all he wants is who she is already.
In
Lie To Me the reality of who Angel is is put in front of Buffy. This isn't some little fantasy about "the lonely ones", Angel's past has become his present and Buffy has to deal with what Angel has been trying to warn her about all season: they aren't some fairytale and she won't live happily ever after when he kisses her. He gives her several opportunities to get out of the relationship that they are building. Throughout all of this he continued to try and help her with checking out Ford and his band of wasters.
All of the interactions in these episodes are integral to building the couple they become. It may seem like Angel is making Buffy work for him but really he was trying to show her what she was getting into. Sadly, Angel thought his only worry was his past, he had no idea that their future held such tragedy. In reality, he had no idea what he was getting into.
After these episodes we see a marked change in Buffy and Angel's relationship. The uncertainy as to whether to trust each other is gone. The trust is there, simple as that. In
The Dark Age Buffy, for the first time, turns to Angel for his help with slaying rather than him offering it and he kicks Zygon's arse.
Angel aslo undertsands Buffy's desire to be "a normal girl". In fact I think they share that exact same desire because he very much wants to be a "normal man".
In
What's My Line Angel tries to bring Buffy back into her "normal life" even if it is just for a moment by bringing her to the ice-rink. When Buffy is told to go hide in a safe place it is Angel's apartment that she goes to and when Angel tries to find out who sent the Order of Taraka on her he gets tortured for his trouble. Look at that final scene in the church when Buffy is holding Angel and stroking his face, the look of love on her face, the sheer devotion. Then look at Angel's face hope, relief and love is written all over his. There is nothing one-sided about these two.
Then you have
Ted, they only get one scene together butin that scene Angel again offers Buffy help with dealing with this new part of her life that she neither likes nor undertsands. Of course he can't make it better for her but it is clear that simply being with him makes her happy.
Bad Eggs we see much more of how Angel being there as a boyfriend and being there to help with the slaying overlap. They tell each other they are all they see in their futures.
Surprise he is there for her at every turn. He gives her the claddagh ring, another promise of the future, he is willing to leave with that arm in the box which helps with her slaying, he tells her he loves her.
Angel may have tried to resist Buffy initially but it was because he was worried about her (and rightly so) but he pulled his weight in the relationship. If he didn't then Buffy would not have relied so heavily on him in times of crisis. In
Passion she tells Willow how he is
still the first person she thinks to go to for help. There's a reason for that.
I think the best illustration of how they worked so well for each other is in
Surprise when they are walking down the dock. Angel has the arm on his shoulder, Buffy is leaning into him, her head on his shoulder supporting her and he kisses the crown of her head. It's a simple act but one of familiarity, trust and comfort.
Then came Graduation Day Part 2 and the scene where he feeds of her. I think everyone but me found this epic and moving, I sided with Xander.
"It's nice to know that when the chips are down, you'll feed off the girl that loves you to save your own ass."
I still can't believe that scene and I was happy to see him leave. He's had a few hundred years of existence but he feeds off a young girl who he loves to get some more time. I hate that scene. No matter how much she hit him, he should never have fed. Probably the most selfish thing he ever did.
AS PB has said, that scene was about Buffy, not Angel. Look at where it happened? In the exact same spot where Buffy had sent him to Hell a year before, probably to the day. We had seen throughout that entire season how Buffy could not evade or deal with her guilt for what she did to Angel. Him coming back didn't change that. As far as she was concerned she damned him, twice. First whe he lost his soul and the second time when she sent him to Hell. To Buffy not saving Angel wasn't even an option. It was something she
needed to do, much like she was never not going to save Dawn. By forcing Angel to to feed from her in
Graduation Day part II she was making amends with herself for the life she took from him in season two.
Also, Angel was out of his mind, he was hallucinating both Oz and Willow as Buffy. He told Buffy that it was over, that he was done, that he wouldn't feed off her. She refused to accept that. He was weak before she came back to the mansion, by the time she had slapped him around he was weaker still and operating on pure instinct. Even on that level she still had to pull his head to her neck and only then did the vampire that he is at his core come out to play. It didn't last long though because the man that he is took over and he stopped before it was too late and brought her to the hospital.
Not once in this entire thing did Angel behave as if Buffy was only the means to "saving his own ass". Not only that it proved to him how dangerous he was to her and was more sure than ever that he had to leave. Before Buffy came back to the mansion he had said that he couldn't leave, that he needed her.
I think it is totally unfair to vilify Angel for what happened in that scene as if it was something he made her do. He had accpeted his death, it was Buffy that didn't.
As for the point about Angel never sacrificing himself for Buffy? Well he got his chance a few months later with IWRY. I'm of the opinion that anytime either of them did any sort of "sacrificing" for the other it ended up with severe consequences for both.
Like I said, there was nothing one-sided about their relationship.
