I don't like Tillow...

[SavvyScoobie]

I'm all for queer ships but Tara and Willow were wayy too toxic!

Tara deserves better!

I also wish that we got to see more about Tara, which was strange because there was a whole episode about her family and being a witch. It's almost like they were trying to set something up, but never got around to it. I'm not sure why..

I think before season 6 Tara and Willow were one of the most healthiest relationships.

I can see where the writers were going with Tara's unexpected death, but it felt like it was just the easy way out in order to end s6 on a bang. Tara's death furthered Willow's character development if anything...

This makes sense bc Tara was an expendable character.

 

[Joan the Vampire Slayer]

It was really, really wrong what Willow did to Tara, and I don't blame Tara for ending it with Willow because of it.

 

[KaitKat]

Unfortunately there aren’t many healthy relationships in the Buffyverse in general. I agree about Tillow being toxic mostly because Willow is toxic and never really address her issues in a meaningful way.

It all gets chalked up to magic addiction but that doesn’t really address Willow’s actual flaws that caused to her use magic to take the easy way out. Her erasing Tara’s memory wasn’t done to get high, she just didn’t want to fight with Tara.

 

[NotASlayer]

S6 saw all the relationships either turn bad, or start off that way. Two of them, Tara/Willow and Spike/Buffy, both saw one partner have sex with the other without the other's consent - rape, in other words - Willow because she removed Tara's ability to give consent and Spike because he ignored Buffy withdrawing hers. Both actions are just as bad. S6, thanks to the treatment of the openly and closeted LGBT characters and LGBT in general, has a feel that I can only call homophobic.

 

[thetopher]

Willow wasn't a particularly great girlfriend for Tara. So much so that the writers later overcompensated and punished her by inflicting Kennedy on her, which was uncalled for.


...But in all seriousness I liked their S4 and S5 relationship journey but in S6 having them get back together so soon after Willow abused Tara was simply a bad message, a message they kinda repeated with Buffy and Spike the next season.
It's not that eventual forgiveness can't be an option but betrayal of a romantic partner is a different (more intimate) level of betrayal that should take much longer to forgive than the show was willing to spend depicting, so we got shortcuts that shortchanged the abuse victim's journey, an erasure of their voice.

 

[AlphaFoxtrot]

So, Tara should have been written as an bad person?

 

[BuffyElevated]

I totally agree. Beginning in Season 4 Willow starts to become seriously unlikeable for me, and she definitely treated Tara like crap a lot of the time. As a couple I thought they were sweet but boring, and never truly liked them together as much as Willow and Oz. However, even Oz would have been too good for Willow as the show went on. Willow deteriorates into such a know-it-all character through Seasons 4-6, and by Season 7 she's snively and whiny and I don't think she needed a love interest at all.

 

[whatdBuffyDo]

I think a Willow spinoff is necessary in which she explores her deeper issues and overcomes them. Less adventure-oriented, more psychological. I never read the comics tho, I don’t know if a story like that exists. I assume the White Willow moment was the end of her redemption arc in the series.

 

[Joan the Vampire Slayer]

I think a Willow spinoff is necessary in which she explores her deeper issues and overcomes them.

I don't want to hijack this thread, but I am curious what you believe Willow's deeper issues may be? I always thought her parents may have been both largely physically and emotionally absent.

 

[KaitKat]

I don't want to hijack this thread, but I am curious what you believe Willow's deeper issues may be? I always thought her parents may have been both largely physically and emotionally absent.

This isn’t directed at me but I’ll share my 2 cents. I think that Willow has low self worth and conflict avoidance issues that can also cause her to seek external validation. I do agree that it probably largely stems from absentee parents. I think she uses magic to avoid her problems and uncomfortable emotions but I also think that she likes feeling powerful.

 

[HowiMetdaSlayer]

*sulks thru thread*

Willow & Tara are one of my all time fave couples!

*hums I will go down with this ship*

⛵️

 

[garfan]

I'm all for queer ships but Tara and Willow were wayy too toxic!

Tara deserves better!

I also wish that we got to see more about Tara, which was strange because there was a whole episode about her family and being a witch. It's almost like they were trying to set something up, but never got around to it. I'm not sure why..

I think before season 6 Tara and Willow were one of the most healthiest relationships.

I can see where the writers were going with Tara's unexpected death, but it felt like it was just the easy way out in order to end s6 on a bang. Tara's death furthered Willow's character development if anything...

This makes sense bc Tara was an expendable character.

that ep was basically ending Tara's personal dramatic story. Apparently she was originally going to be part demon, but they scrapped the idea

Post automatically merged: May 2, 2026

Unfortunately there aren’t many healthy relationships in the Buffyverse in general. I agree about Tillow being toxic mostly because Willow is toxic and never really address her issues in a meaningful way.

It all gets chalked up to magic addiction but that doesn’t really address Willow’s actual flaws that caused to her use magic to take the easy way out. Her erasing Tara’s memory wasn’t done to get high, she just didn’t want to fight with Tara.

I don't want to hijack this thread, but I am curious what you believe Willow's deeper issues may be? I always thought her parents may have been both largely physically and emotionally absent.

This isn’t directed at me but I’ll share my 2 cents. I think that Willow has low self worth and conflict avoidance issues that can also cause her to seek external validation. I do agree that it probably largely stems from absentee parents. I think she uses magic to avoid her problems and uncomfortable emotions but I also think that she likes feeling powerful.

I have the feeling her upbringing kind of led her to a feeling that problems exist to be solved. Remember this was the era of both heavy use of therapy AND giving problem kids medications like Ritalin. So she's not taking the easy way out, she's being efficient and using the tools available to her

Post automatically merged: May 2, 2026

Willow wasn't a particularly great girlfriend for Tara. So much so that the writers later overcompensated and punished her by inflicting Kennedy on her, which was uncalled for.


...But in all seriousness I liked their S4 and S5 relationship journey but in S6 having them get back together so soon after Willow abused Tara was simply a bad message, a message they kinda repeated with Buffy and Spike the next season.
It's not that eventual forgiveness can't be an option but betrayal of a romantic partner is a different (more intimate) level of betrayal that should take much longer to forgive than the show was willing to spend depicting, so we got shortcuts that shortchanged the abuse victim's journey, an erasure of their voice.

Tara had spent a year lying to Willow and used a spell to cover those lies

That should be seen as a betrayal, too

 

[SavvyScoobie]

Willow wasn't a particularly great girlfriend for Tara. So much so that the writers later overcompensated and punished her by inflicting Kennedy on her, which was uncalled for.

I wouldn't say Kennedy was Willow's 'punishment'. Willow didn't deserve to be with anyone, considering her behavior in her last relationship.

Kennedy was just a cop-out because they needed more LGBT rep.

 

[KaitKat]

*sulks thru thread*

Willow & Tara are one of my all time fave couples!

*hums I will go down with this ship*

⛵️

It’s perfectly okay to love relationships and characters that are flawed. It’s even better when other opinions don’t ruin your enjoyment. I will say they were a sweet couple till the season six shenanigans.

 

[SavvyScoobie]

Tara had spent a year lying to Willow and used a spell to cover those lies

That should be seen as a betrayal, too

Not really sure when this 'lying' happened, but I'd argue that fighting with your partner and not properly dealing with issues, thus taking away their full ability to consent, is worse. That's just rape.

Tara is pretty unproblematic, the issue is when Willow treats her horribly.

Post automatically merged: May 2, 2026

I have the feeling her upbringing kind of led her to a feeling that problems exist to be solved. Remember this was the era of both heavy use of therapy AND giving problem kids medications like Ritalin. So she's not taking the easy way out, she's being efficient and using the tools available to her

If this is regarding Willow's use of magic...absolutely not. Willow abused her magic and hurt lots of people, Tara being one of them.

 

[garfan]

Not really sure when this 'lying' happened, but I'd argue that fighting with your partner and not properly dealing with issues, thus taking away their full ability to consent, is worse

hiding the fact she believes she is part demon is a lie, plain and simple. She was dishonest with Willow for the first year of their relationship and she sabotaged a spell and cast another one to keep from being found out

 

[SavvyScoobie]

hiding the fact she believes she is part demon is a lie, plain and simple. She was dishonest with Willow for the first year of their relationship and she sabotaged a spell and cast another one to keep from being found out

Tara was scared of being found out. She just wanted to be accepted. It's clear her family's emotional abuse and sheltering led her to feel this way. But not once did she rape Willow using her powers. She apologized and everyone banded together for her and forgave her. She just made a mistake, a very human mistake. That issue was resolved.

Willow on the other hand, took it to the extreme.

 

[NotASlayer]

Tara was scared of being found out. She just wanted to be accepted. It's clear her family's emotional abuse and sheltering led her to feel this way. But not once did she rape Willow using her powers. She apologized and everyone banded together for her and forgave her. She just made a mistake, a very human mistake. That issue was resolved.

Willow on the other hand, took it to the extreme.

Yes, when someone has been gaslit and abused for their entire life about what they are, they cannot be blamed for being reluctant to share something they have been lied to that they think will turn everyone against them. And it is clear that the abuse was not merely psychological and emotional. Tara flinched away from her brother when he came close. I don't think she flinched away from anything else when it came close.

 

[garfan]

Yes, when someone has been gaslit and abused for their entire life about what they are, they cannot be blamed for being reluctant to share something they have been lied to that they think will turn everyone against them. And it is clear that the abuse was not merely psychological and emotional. Tara flinched away from her brother when he came close. I don't think she flinched away from anything else when it came close.

the backstory never made much sense to me, since Tara's mother should have been marrying into the family and thus not have grown up with it.

It's a sad traumatic backstory, but when the character with it is later supposed to be super knowledgeable and have strong morals about things it's hard for me to respect that character

Tara was scared of being found out. She just wanted to be accepted. It's clear her family's emotional abuse and sheltering led her to feel this way. But not once did she rape Willow using her powers. She apologized and everyone banded together for her and forgave her. She just made a mistake, a very human mistake. That issue was resolved.

Willow on the other hand, took it to the extreme.

I have a hard time considering memory alteration this massive violation when every member of the Scoobies is walking around with between 1 to 14 years of altered memories in their head

 

[AlphaFoxtrot]

Family's reputation is entirely carried by the emotional resonance it has for gay college students of a certain generation regarding their coming out, and their hopes of having a healthy enough of a relationship and good friends to fall back on, and it apparently knocks that out of the park.

But the rest of the episode, the tension is stupid, the resolution is stupid, the characters have no characterization, and worst of it all, Amy Adams is a blonde.