@thetopher, all those characters who are so 'under control' have souls and had them
when they did their bad things. They had conscience and judgement that Spike did not have.
By contrast, Spike had no soul - but his heart told him that hurting Buffy was unacceptable, and and he went to the other side of the planet and fought for his soul, because of his
bad thing. In that one instant, it becomes clear to him that he's unable to exercise true moral judgment even though he wants to give Buffy 'what she deserves'. He is if anything more of a penitent than the others are.
Spike didn't rape Buffy, though nothing about his assault is in any way acceptable. Willow actually rapes Tara, calmly and with forethought and malice b/c she roofies her and she cannot consent in any meaningful way. We don't know how many times she roofied Tara. She was
very comfy with those memory removal spells... She never really is called on that. And she does all that after being called about her resurrection spell. Then she tries to end all of creation! You don't get further down than that unless you actually end the world. yet, she gets a pass. She is, if anything, more dangerous after trying to end the world, not less.
(Angel btw, also never fights for his soul, or seriously looks for a way to anchor it. Yet, he remains an ally too... even after facilitating the murder of those lawyers in the wine cellar)
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Oh, Spike's trigger? The First managed to control and influence just about everyone over the course of that season. The trigger was NOT Spike's fault. If something bad takes over a friend, does this mean the friend should die? No, you should cure the friend and yes, protect others, if they represent a danger... you know, like they did with Oz!!!
Season 7 Spike exactly analagous to Oz, who I hear no one suggest we kill, not even after he ripped the throat out of Veruca and almost killed Willow. Like Oz, Spike is dangerous, but he has a soul and he has good intent. He's a qualified and able ally, with a dangerous problem. He's NEVER the enemy to be put down.
Wood was influenced by the First to kill Spike because the First knew Spike was a threat.
Should we have killed Wood for being under the influence of the First, in his case,
knowingly and willingly?