Is Spike a misogynist and/or a slut?

[RomanticSoul]

Well both souled and soulles Spike certainly seem to have their issues with women. He likes to beat them up when they don't do what he expects from them or to get them to do what he wants, a trait both Spike's shared. He thinks women with jobs who also have children make less mothers than those who can focus on their children 24/7 because they have nothing else in their lives. He called Buffy everything from slutty to b!tchy. He also called her an 'uneducated moron' in S8 knowing full well the reason she dropped out of college was due to her mother being sick and then dying and having to take care of her useless new sister.

 

[thetopher]

Warren calls all women bitches - that's how he sees women.
Spike called three women bitches in one episode, but clearly had a fair degree of respect for all of the other women in the B-verse

Spike calls women derogatory names on several occasions. Both Harmony and Buffy whilst he's in a relationship with them- 'bitch is gonna see a change'/'she's not your bint anymore mate' etc.

And no, he wasn't venting, he was just being in his nature. He's a demon.

Warren tries to beat up/kill women
Spike tries to beat up/kill Slayers - he doesn't make any attempt to kill any other women, though he does threaten Willow and Dru.

Spike tried to pretty much harm everybody he could when he wasn't chipped. the only exception is Joyce. Not being able to does not mean he gets credit. He's also tried to harm Willow a few times, not just threaten her (S4 'The Initiative')

Warren builds sex bots and programs them to ineffectual, subservient, mindless and weak.
Warren builds a sex bot for Spike that is programmed to be able to fight him on an equal level, and to do the job of a slayer - hardly weak.

HA! Good one.
Just...no. Spike didn't have a Buffybot so he could fight with it (that was just part of his role-playing sex fantasy) and he certainly didn't get the Buffybot so it could 'do the job of the slayer' and protect the Hellmouth. He just wanted to boink it- a pretty-looking object that acted the way he wanted- same as Warren.
So why is it bad when Warren does it, but when Spike does it, its okay? 🙄

Warren tries to rape a woman by robbing her of any ability to resist, and when she becomes aware and protests he kills her.
Spike tries to rape a woman by using physical force, and when she kicks him across the room into a wall he is horrified at his own actions and goes to get his soul.

Not much difference . Rape is about power. Warren wanted power over Katrina after she dumped him. So he took away her consent and tried to rape her. Spike wanted to have Buffy again. Tired of her rejections, of her having power over how he felt (and confused by her 'mixed signals') Spike tried to rape her.

Spike was a demon who appeared in several seasons and had a complete story arc. He constantly questioned himself and when he hurt Buffy he was filled with remorse and made reparation.

Doesn't matter if Spike questioned his nature, it didn't change what his nature was. He's a demon with some unpleasant habits/opinions. I'm not sure why this upsets people.
If I called Angelus a sadist you'd agree- because its in his nature and we see evidence of it on the show.

Dark Wilow was trying to destroy the world - and in particular Warren because he killed Tara - given the other things she said I would hardly call her a reliable source.

So you're saying that what DW said was wrong? Personally I think she was spot on in her analyst- she's the one who calls Warren out on his misogyny. By the show's own standards then Spike has a large misogynistic steak when it comes to certain types of women.

You obviously view the term misogynist in a more blanket 'they must hate all women' type way which, to me, is simplistic and not that accurate. So we'll agree to differ. 🙂

Yes, after becoming corporeal he tries to have consensual sex with an old lover. As for the rest, I don't read the comics but I understand that everyone has a fair amount of sex.

It's the first thing he does after being made flesh again- go and have sex with a soulless vampire (and no, Soulled Spike hasn't had sex with Harmony- he's a different guy in mv view). It happened because hey, he was alive again (you know what I mean).
I have problems with the who, not the act itself. If I just came back from the dead/hell, no doubt I'd want to do things that made me feel good.


As for that last part- not really. Faith, Angel, Giles, Andrew, there are plenty of people who don't get any at all. As I remember Spike spent a lot of Angel: AtF surrounded by beautiful women- I can't remember if he partook or not- and, like I said he hits on other characters in quick succession more than anybody.

Not that I see anything wrong with a character being lusty/hedonistic. Faith was lusty- was labelled a slut for it- but really, if she'd been a guy nobody would've batted an eyelid. Willow gets a lot of play as well- I say good for her. Werewolf, witch, slayer, snake demon thing what's the problem?

Apparently if I say anything at all about Spike then it must be some sort of slur on his character, even if happens to be true. 😉

 

[EVIL UU]

So Spike:

*hunts and kills slayers - you know, women, power, stuff like that.
*rapes girls younger that Dawn
*wants to cast a love spell on Dru after they break up
*steals Buffy's clothing/pictures, builds himself a Buffy shrine, generally stalks her
*gets himself a Buffy robot, has sex with it
*tries to rape Buffy, among other things. You know what, I'll just put the entirety of Spike/Buffy in season 6 here.
*says stuff like this: What the bleeding hell is wrong with you bloody women? What the hell does it take? Why...do you bitches torture me? (...) You know, what I should just do, is get rid of both of you. Burn you. Cut you into little pieces so there won't be any more bints to cock up things

OK, so what more does Spike have to do to be considered a misogynist in your opinion? Seriously. Personally, I love Spike's misogyny. I love that he gets away with it the way he does, within the show and in the eyes of many, many fans. I find that awesome and very interesting.

 

[Mr Trick]

So Spike:

*hunts and kills slayers - you know, women, power, stuff like that.
*rapes girls younger that Dawn
*wants to cast a love spell on Dru after they break up
*steals Buffy's clothing/pictures, builds himself a Buffy shrine, generally stalks her
*gets himself a Buffy robot, has sex with it
*tries to rape Buffy, among other things. You know what, I'll just put the entirety of Spike/Buffy in season 6 here.
*says stuff like this: What the bleeding hell is wrong with you bloody women? What the hell does it take? Why...do you bitches torture me? (...) You know, what I should just do, is get rid of both of you. Burn you. Cut you into little pieces so there won't be any more bints to cock up things

OK, so what more does Spike have to do to be considered a misogynist in your opinion? Seriously. Personally, I love Spike's misogyny. I love that he gets away with it the way he does, within the show and in the eyes of many, many fans. I find that awesome and very interesting.

But are you telling me that Angel didn't do all those things when he was unsouled? I don't see anyone calling him misogynist? And besides the attempted rape I think Spike does atone for much of his past sins as much as someone ever could.

 

[EVIL UU]

But are you telling me that Angel didn't do all those things when he was unsouled?

I can't seem to recall Angelus getting himself a Buffy bot, building himself a Buffy shrine, trying to rape his ex, wanting to put love spells on women who don't want to have sex with him ( anymore ) and also blaming women for his own bloody issues constantly (!)

 

[Mr Trick]

I can't seem to recall Angelus getting himself a Buffy bot, building himself a Buffy shrine, trying to rape his ex, wanting to put love spells on women who don't want to have sex with him ( anymore ) and also blaming women for his own bloody issues constantly (!)

But you can't compare the two because we only see Angelus for a brief amount of time on the show compared with unsouled Spike. I was talking more during the past. I bet Angelus did his fair share of raping, killing kids etc... Also some of the things you mention with Spike are things which in real life would be creepy but within the context of the show and character are just quite funny (not talking about the attempted rape of course..) and add further depth to the plot/character. The Buffybot story being a key example. He does plenty of sweet things to counter those things you outlined too.

 

[gite63]

*hunts and kills slayers - you know, women, power, stuff like that.

As I said before, if they were boys, I'm sure he would hunt them all the same. A being created to destroy vampires - what bigger challenge than that for a vampire who likes the thrill of a good killing?

*rapes girls younger that Dawn

And kills them, too. And kills men, too. Vampire. Soulless. Evil.

*wants to cast a love spell on Dru after they break up

Living in a world full of magic, if you don't have a moral compass, it's natural to think of using spell to fix your problems - look at Willow, and even Tara (Family). And Spike eventually realized that it would not fix his relatioship with Dru, and gave up doing the spell.

*steals Buffy's clothing/pictures, builds himself a Buffy shrine, generally stalks her

Obssessed, without a clue, lost, wrong, but not a misogynist.

*gets himself a Buffy robot, has sex with it

Again, obssessed, without a clue, lost, wrong, but not a misogynist. He had her programmed just like Buffy was - strong, but obviouly the Buffybot need to want to have sex with him.

*tries to rape Buffy, among other things. You know what, I'll just put the entirety of Spike/Buffy in season 6 here.

I love Season 6!

*says stuff like this: What the bleeding hell is wrong with you bloody women? What the hell does it take? Why...do you bitches torture me? (...) You know, what I should just do, is get rid of both of you. Burn you. Cut you into little pieces so there won't be any more bints to cock up things

He was talking about Dru and Buffy... Dru really tortured him, by having sex with Angelus, with the Chaos demon etc. And he felt tortured by Buffy (she, obviously didn't have any responsibility), who refused to say he had a chance with her (and he had, eventually...).

And, in the end, this souless demon, fought for a soul because of a woman, beacuse of what he had done to a woman.

But you can't compare the two because we only see Angelus for a brief amount of time on the show compared with unsouled Spike.

We got to see a unsouled Spike living among humans, learning how to behave properly.

 

[Silverspike]

"Not much difference . Rape is about power. Warren wanted power over Katrina after she dumped him. "

Warren was a human though with a soul. Spike was an unsouled vamp, so not the same, no.

 

[Mr Trick]

This is the point, because if a serial killer only targets girls then you can trace a pattern and quite logically claim that he is sexist, but when he targets both genders then that's a different story.

 

[gite63]

I can't seem to recall Angelus getting himself a Buffy bot, building himself a Buffy shrine, trying to rape his ex, wanting to put love spells on women who don't want to have sex with him

Of course not, Angelus would rape and kill, instead of building lame robots or doing stupid spells. Shrines? Only if it was in honor to himself. 😀

 

[thetopher]

Warren was a human though with a soul. Spike was an unsouled vamp, so not the same, no.

Motivation is similar enough imo. Power over the woman they were in love/obsessing over. Take that power back is part of the motivation for both.
Spike doesn't get an automatic pass just because he's an evil, soulless vampire, just like any vampire doesn't get a pass for killing somebody- 'oh, he's evil he didn't know any better' He still gets righteously staked.

So yeah, if we treat soulless Spike as a complex character with good and bad points and not just wave away the bad by going 'eh, evil' (let's not romanticize the demon) then that's lazy analysis. Spike's relationship with the 'important' women in his life- those he loves- is complex. There are misogynistic tenancies mixed up in a lot of his actions, even when he's trying to fight his demonic nature.

 

[gite63]

We have to leave aside the killing part, because as a vampire, of course Spike killed a lot - men, women and children.

Spike has always respected Buffy and her decisions as Slayer, even when he wasn't chipped, he looked for her to make a truce - to save Dru, another strong woman.

He tried to kill Willow, and afterwords, when she wasn't feeling desirable, he tried to cheer her up (and he had just been chipped); same thing with Anya, with whom he already had bonded about heartaches.

He helped Tara, proving that she wasn't a demon, not allowing that the lie her family was telling went on more than it already had gone – he could have stayed with his mouth shut, and enjoyed the situation: a woman suffering!

He was faithful to the promise he made to a lady: to protect Dawn, even after he really didn't need to. He took care of her, saying to her – with a little bit of delay – that she should go to school and be a “valuable and productive member of society”. And he respected her; he used to talk to her, listen to her, help her – his twisted way of helping, of course, but still.

After Buffy's death, he was deeply annoyed by the Buffybot and its programming.

The only woman he clearly despised was Harmony – but let's be honest here, anybody respected Harm; even so, souled, Spike apologized to her for his behavior.

So, no, Spike wasn't a misogynist.

 

[Silverspike]

Motivation is similar enough imo. Power over the woman they were in love/obsessing over. Take that power back is part of the motivation for both.
Spike doesn't get an automatic pass just because he's an evil, soulless vampire, just like any vampire doesn't get a pass for killing somebody- 'oh, he's evil he didn't know any better' He still gets righteously staked.

So yeah, if we treat soulless Spike as a complex character with good and bad points and not just wave away the bad by going 'eh, evil' (let's not romanticize the demon) then that's lazy analysis. Spike's relationship with the 'important' women in his life- those he loves- is complex. There are misogynistic tenancies mixed up in a lot of his actions, even when he's trying to fight his demonic nature.

Warren was NOT a demon and that counts for a lot in this verse whatever you'd like to view it. And imo no way was Spike a misogynist.

 

[gite63]

Slut, I think Spike isn't... much – he always is going back to the same women – Harm, Dru, Buffy... aside of the Skanky McSkank (with whom he may or may not had had sex), we didn't see him with different women, in his crypt, for instance - he was always drinking and watching TV...

Of course, in After the Fall, he had an harem; he certainly slept with Maria Harley, I'm not sure about the others...

I think the only one that was more sluty was Faith, because she would have sex whenever she wanted, with whomever was available: Xander, Wood, and to Spike, she said “This one guy I ran with, he liked me to dress up like a school girl and take this friggin' bull-whip, and I'd be like-” I know that it's just three guys here, but I think it's a glimpse of her behavior concerning sex.

Buffy had sex with Angel (boyfriend), Parker (she thought they would be together), Riley (boyfriend), Spike (soulless vampire who declared his undying love for her), and Satsu (who declared her love for her).

Willow, had sex with her boyfriend (Oz) and girlfriends/lover (Tara, Kennedy, Aluwyn).

Xander: Cordy (did they have sex?), Anya and Dawn (all girlfriends – with Faith, wasn't his choice, although I'm sure he appreciated it very much).

Giles? Poor Giles. “Cuppa tea, cuppa tea, almost got shagged, cuppa tea?”

 

[Samuel Reyes]

Xander: Cordy (did they have sex?)

From 'The Zeppo':
Faith: Are you up for it?
Xander: Oh, I'm up... I'm suddenly very 'up.' It's just... I've never been 'up' with people before.

Faith was Xander's first.

Giles? Poor Giles. “Cuppa tea, cuppa tea, almost got shagged, cuppa tea?”

Giles had at least two sexual partners: Joyce (on the hood of a police car, twice) and Olivia (his 'orgasm friend', thank you Anya) from S4.

I doubt he ever did it with Ms. Calendar, though he was clearly planning for it to happen that fateful night in 'Passion.' Damn you, Angelus!

 

[bespangeled]

Spike calls women derogatory names on several occasions. Both Harmony and Buffy whilst he's in a relationship with them- 'bitch is gonna see a change'/'she's not your bint anymore mate' etc.

And no, he wasn't venting, he was just being in his nature. He's a demon.

Spike calls certain women that he knows by derogatory terms - and he does the same with men. Spike is outspoken to the point of being crude, and he loves to both annoy and upset people. It gives him a big happy. Once he has a chip and is unable to kill or injure humans he tends to vent, and blame.

Spike tried to pretty much harm everybody he could when he wasn't chipped. the only exception is Joyce. Not being able to does not mean he gets credit. He's also tried to harm Willow a few times, not just threaten her (S4 'The Initiative')

Before he was chipped he tried to harm everyone he could get his hands on because that's kind of the demon raison d'etre.

HA! Good one.
Just...no. Spike didn't have a Buffybot so he could fight with it (that was just part of his role-playing sex fantasy) and he certainly didn't get the Buffybot so it could 'do the job of the slayer' and protect the Hellmouth. He just wanted to boink it- a pretty-looking object that acted the way he wanted- same as Warren.
So why is it bad when Warren does it, but when Spike does it, its okay? 🙄

Actually he did fight with the bot at least once in the crypt, and he also went out slaying with the bot. He definitely enjoyed sex with the bot - programmed her to get horny after fighting (couldn't do hungry). What he didn't do is program the bot to be a good girlfriend - meaning she could never cry, disagree, and all the misogynistic things Warren included in his bot.

Why is it bad when Warren does it - let's start with the fact that he is a souled human who has absolutely no positive relationships with any women. He regards all women as bitches...he's a misogynist. Spike, OTH, is kind of clueless and very skeevy.

Not much difference . Rape is about power. Warren wanted power over Katrina after she dumped him. So he took away her consent and tried to rape her. Spike wanted to have Buffy again. Tired of her rejections, of her having power over how he felt (and confused by her 'mixed signals') Spike tried to rape her.

Spike believed that Buffy still had feelings about him when Dawn told him how much he had hurt Buffy. He didn't go to her house rape her - he went to talk to her. Then he attempted to rape her in order to prove to her that she still loved him. Yes, he wanted to force her to love him again - which was doubly a betrayal. I actually hold that against Spike more than I do Warren's actions because Spike betrayed Buffy's trust in a way that Warren never could betray anyone. That's because their motivations were very different.

Warren didn't care about love - he cared about power. He didn't want Katrina to love him - he wanted her to mindlessly obey him and give him what he felt entitle to have.

Doesn't matter if Spike questioned his nature, it didn't change what his nature was. He's a demon with some unpleasant habits/opinions. I'm not sure why this upsets people.
If I called Angelus a sadist you'd agree- because its in his nature and we see evidence of it on the show.

It speaks to the fact that Spike was willing and able to change his basic nature, to repent and make amends, even before he had a soul. While Warren defended his every action to the bitter end.

Yes, Angelus was a sadist and a psychopath - Spike was a thrill killer and a sociopath. No problem with either description.

So you're saying that what DW said was wrong? Personally I think she was spot on in her analyst- she's the one who calls Warren out on his misogyny. By the show's own standards then Spike has a large misogynistic steak when it comes to certain types of women.

You obviously view the term misogynist in a more blanket 'they must hate all women' type way which, to me, is simplistic and not that accurate. So we'll agree to differ. 🙂

No - you refuse to accept the dictionary definition. It's kinda like when people say they don't believe in evolution - it doesn't change the scientific facts. Arachnophobia is a fear of spiders - you don't have arachnophobia if some spiders are okay. Claustrophobia is fear of enclosed spaces - not fear of being shut in a closet but fine with being shut in a coffin. You don't hate dogs if greyhounds are okay but chihuahuas are not.

Once again -
Definition of MISOGYNY
: a hatred of women

Not some women - but others are just peachy keen.

Warren has no healthy relationships with any women - Spike has reasonably healthy relationships with most women on the show.

OK, so what more does Spike have to do to be considered a misogynist in your opinion? Seriously. Personally, I love Spike's misogyny. I love that he gets away with it the way he does, within the show and in the eyes of many, many fans. I find that awesome and very interesting.

Hate women. Hate Dawn, Anya, Joyce, Tara, Wiilow, and all the other female characters on the show. I will agree he can be a major a**hole to some women, as well as men. But to be a misogynist means to hate women.

I can't seem to recall Angelus getting himself a Buffy bot, building himself a Buffy shrine, trying to rape his ex, wanting to put love spells on women who don't want to have sex with him ( anymore ) and also blaming women for his own bloody issues constantly (!)

No - that is truly lame stuff for Angelus. He just killed at least one of Buffy's friends, murdered Jenny and set up her body in a way that was staggeringly cruel. He tried to do to Buffy what he did to Dru - drive her insane with pain, grief and fear. Angelus had no issues - he was pure unadulterated evil. It made him enjoyable to watch, but didn't give him much depth which is why he didn't stay Angelus for very long.

I bet Angelus did his fair share of raping, killing kids etc...

Don't forget necrophilia. He wanted to beat Faith to death and then have sex with her corpse.

Motivation is similar enough imo. Power over the woman they were in love/obsessing over. Take that power back is part of the motivation for both.

Can't even agree to disagree. Warren was a misogynist, a fact he was proud of to the very end. He didn't see anything wrong in that. Spike was a demon who betrayed a person he swore he would never hurt. Simply because Spike was able to love (albeit as a demon and not a human - a very toxic love for a human) he was able to use Buffy's trust in him to get close enough to hurt her.

But he never showed any desire to hurt Dawn, Joyce, Tara, or Anya - and once he knew he couldn't turn Willow he never tried to harm her either.

Spike doesn't get an automatic pass just because he's an evil, soulless vampire, just like any vampire doesn't get a pass for killing somebody- 'oh, he's evil he didn't know any better' He still gets righteously staked.

There is a difference between giving someone a pass, and acknowledging a basic difference - the difference between being a demon and being a human, the difference between having a soul and not having a soul. Tara doesn't go out and slay demons because she is not a slayer - that's not giving her a pass, it's acknowledging a difference.

So yeah, if we treat soulless Spike as a complex character with good and bad points and not just wave away the bad by going 'eh, evil' (let's not romanticize the demon) then that's lazy analysis. Spike's relationship with the 'important' women in his life- those he loves- is complex. There are misogynistic tenancies mixed up in a lot of his actions, even when he's trying to fight his demonic nature.

Almost agree there- at least about Spike having complex relationships.

 

[Skanky Vamp]

The thread title always makes me think of this when I read it


Carry on...

 

[amberjane]

i think a lot of the 'misogynist' things spike says towards dru, buffy, and harmony, is out of a heightened frustration. he's been shown to be overly emotional a few times on the show. dark willow, although no one really disagrees with her, was also craxy emotional on her revenge trip to kill warren; she might not actually be a reliable source. it reminds me of the argument towards the latest issues of season 10 about angel and willow's views on immortals- its a reflection of their perrogative, not necessarily fact. also, if thd argument becomes what defines misogyny as hating all women vs some women, then why not reverse it? why not argue that he loves women because there are scenes where he respects numerous female characters and has healthy relationships with them, but occassionally makes misogynist comments? there is no all or some. maybe we also havent seen enough interaction between spike and female characters that are not his enemies, cheating exes, epitomy of what it means to be an air head, or love interest that has no interest? maybe the misogynist factor cant truly be judged.

however, just to add more fuel to the fire even though i dont think spike is a misogynist, remember what he said to tara's father? i cant exactly quote the first half, but spike recognizes that the demon women in her family is a myth to keep the women in line. he then says "you're a piece of work.... i like you." so here he comments on misogynist actions, yet praises it.

i also dont think he was a slut. i see him having been committed to dru until it was understood when he caught her fooling around with angelus that they were a less sexually loyal breed. harmony was easy swayed and convenient, and when he had needs, she was there. aside from pining after buffy, she was presumably his only partner when they were together. although i havent read angel and faith yet, when he tried getting with the aunts and faith is again showing he had needs. we dont know the last time he got laid, i believe anyways. so they turn him down and he again winds up with the convenient option: harmony.

 

[bespangeled]

so, if thd argument becomes what defines misogyny as hating all women vs some women, then why not reverse it? why not argue that he loves women because there are scenes where he respects numerous female characters and has healthy relationships with them, but occassionally makes misogynist comments? there is no all or some. maybe we also havent seen enough interaction between spike and female characters that are not his enemies, cheating exes, epitomy of what it means to be an air head, or love interest that has no interest? maybe the misogynist factor cant truly be judged.

Yeah, kinda what I was saying - the occasional misogynistic comment means he's an a**holes (or technically a demon and a bad rude one at that). In reality, misogyny is more than occasional comments - it is hatred of women, what you believe, how you act - in regard to the women in your life.

however, just to add more fuel to the fire even though i dont think spike is a misogynist, remember what he said to tara's father? i cant exactly quote the first half, but spike recognizes that the demon women in her family is a myth to keep the women in line. he then says "you're a piece of work.... i like you." so here he comments on misogynist actions, yet praises it.

Not exactly a crusader for women's rights, I agree. OTH, if the family was controlling all the kids with a similar lie, think Spike would have also approved.

 

[thetopher]

Actually he did fight with the bot at least once in the crypt, and he also went out slaying with the bot.

Nope, the bot went out- that's how Warren programmed her- and then Spike woke up and chased after her. They didn't 'go out slaying together'. Spike just wanted to screw the nicely shaped appliance.

What he didn't do is program the bot to be a good girlfriend - meaning she could never cry, disagree, and all the misogynistic things Warren included in his bot.

Warren programmed them both so we don't know. Obviously Spike didn't know about all of Buffybot's programming otherwise he wouldn't have let it get away from her and get found out.

Why is it bad when Warren does it - let's start with the fact that he is a souled human who has absolutely no positive relationships with any women. He regards all women as bitches...he's a misogynist. Spike, OTH, is kind of clueless and very skeevy.

No, their both bad and creepy and that both characters have control issues with women. They want a have a slave of their very own. Spike regards more women as bitches than Warren does- so just going by the numbers he's must be more of a misogynist, right?

I mean, if we're using blanket statements like 'Warren hates all women' and 'Spike loves all women.' 🙄

No - you refuse to accept the dictionary definition. It's kinda like when people say they don't believe in evolution - it doesn't change the scientific facts.

And now the insults come out. As entirely expected. 'You don't agree with me so you're ignorant/stupid. '
Whatever, you have a shaky grasp of the science of psychology as you've shown below so I'll bow out now.

I think that Caleb and Warren are different types of misogynists- one is overt the other is not. I also think, as I have shown with his actions, that Spike has a deeply twisted view of women which has a lot of strong misogynistic elements- to me it makes him a fascinating character- that conflict between his hate and his love.

But there are some people here (and elsewhere) who obviously think that Spike never lies, (he does) is utterly honorable (to a degree he is) doesn't brag about things that never happened (he has), loves all women (even though he tries to kill/hurt the strong ones/resents the power that they have over him) and is just all-round a real paragon who just happens to be a demon.

rachnophobia is a fear of spiders - you don't have arachnophobia if some spiders are okay. Claustrophobia is fear of enclosed spaces - not fear of being shut in a closet but fine with being shut in a coffin.

Fear/phobia is a psychological disorder and is not equivalent to racism/prejudice/misogyny. Not all psychological disorders are alike.

You don't hate dogs if greyhounds are okay but chihuahuas are not.

There are plenty of people who hate one breeds of dog and not all dogs. There is no equivalent. Try harder, or actually please don't.