Umm... wasn't that scene supposed to represent Buffy's failed ability to keep her house in order? As a general, she is supposed to plan and implement the attack, but she's also got to look out for the morale and well being of her troops. If they're not up to the task, no amount of ingenious strategy in the world will result in a victory. By pushing her troops too hard and taking a stupid chance that allowed Xander, the "glue" of the group, to be hurt, Buffy allowed order and morale within the group to reach the tipping point.
It was a lesson for everyone. Once Buffy came back, the group was more united than ever because they trusted their leader more and she valued them more. I felt heartbroken for Buffy and sort of appalled by the others when it was happening, but I did understand where everyone was coming from. All in all, I feel like it served an important purpose and helped our heroes to grow together as a much stronger, much more trusting unit.
You're confusing the role of general with the role of morale officer. The general is the one who decides where, when, and how the force attacks. They determine the objective, weigh the chances, and give the orders. The general doesn't worry about who rolls up her sleeping bag, who unstops the plugged up toilet, or whether the troops are happy. The subordinates do that, and in this case, the subordinates were Spike, Xander, Willow, Giles, and, arguably, Faith. Dawn, Andrew, Wood, and the Potentials were, as Anya so accurately put it, cannon fodder, and as such, subject to being sacrificed for the greater good. As Wesley told Gunn in Pylea, "If I try to save this few, I'll wind up sacrificing the entire group and losing the war."
Buffy did make mistakes in this episode. The first was in not sharing her plans with her core group in advance and either getting their suggestions or assuring their support. Faith had every right to voice her objections to Buffy's plan, but not in front of the Potentials. That should have been addressed and settled well before announcing ANYTHING to the troops.
The second mistake was in picking that particular time, just when Xander returned from the hospital, to make her announcement. She should have waited until Spike returned at the earliest, in case he had information (which he, as it turns out did) pertinent to the situation.
The third mistake was in backing down when the others mutinied, and that is precisely what it was: mutiny in time of war, which is a capital offense. If there was ever a "My way or the highway" moment, that was it. If ANYBODY left that night, it should have been the mutineers, not Buffy. There were certainly plenty of vacant houses in Sunnydale, so they would not have suffered for shelter, but even if they had, even if there was a howling blizzard outside, complete with wolves and polar bears, they were the ones who should have left.
The fourth, final, and probably biggest mistake in the whole affair was, after Buffy returned, Scythe in hand, she should have had a behind closed doors meeting with Giles, Willow, Faith, and Xander, (with Spike standing by as Master At Arms) and had that belated "my way or the highway" speech. Anyone not 100% in support of the plan should have been escorted down the stairs, out the door, and into the street with directions to the nearest interstate highway.
