These are just random musings.
There is one sentence I'd like to begin this whole ramble with:
The lines are more defined.
The other is:
The lines are less defined.
Now, the first sentence refers to Bangel and the second refers to Spuffy.
Now this all came about when I was talking to my Bangelly biased friend. She said, like many bangels, Buffy didn't love Spike or at the very least, she didn't love him romantically.
I contended: "How do you know? These are Spike's words not Buffy. She never said that she loved him as a friend."
My friend argued that she didn't have to.
This foced me to look my old Bangel vs Spuffy posts. I found that one line when I was looking at the 'Bangel' section, can you say it with me?: THE LINES ARE MORE DEFINED.
Now, looking Buffy and Angel, they only ever slept together once (in reality, not including the non day in IWRY, that never happened lol) due to the one time it happened Angel lost his soul. Despite the limits with their physical intimacy comparatively there were still conventions of a romantic monogamous relationship. One of the main tell tell signs were that Buffy considered Angel her boyfriend, she actually says that.
Now lets run with this a bit. One of the gripes people had was that when talking about Bangel and Spuffy, some posters wish to talk about soullessSpike but wish to skate over the Angelusy bits. Fair? Well...it depends on how we define Bangel and Spuffy and here is where the lines defining comes in. When Angelus shows his ugly but well, pretty head, it seems to signify an unspoken end to the relationship. When Buffy was asked about on valentines day whether she had a bad break up she agreed. Angelus even mocked that they could get back together. Despite Angelus feelings for Buffy and Buffy lingering feelings for Angel, they were more or less defined as enemies. So while the physical element to their relationship was limited, it was more about 'holding hands'. Again can you say it with me...THE LINES ARE MORE DEFINED.
With Spuffy this is less so. Angel boasted to Spike that he and Buffy had a forever love, but Spike argued that he had a relationship with her too, but what sort of relationship was it? Interestingly enough when Angel sceptically says that sleeping with someone does not equal a relationship Spike's come back was that it was if you do it enough times. Again as far as 'sex=relationships?' it reminds me of Wilah. It seemed that even Lilah wanted or needed proof that it was a relationship. What about Spike? I'm sure he felt the same way. I mean in S6 didn't he ask Buffy if she even liked him?
Now in Season 7 Buffy even says that Spike isn't, repeat isn't, I'm sorry one more time ISN'T her boyfriend, to Angel. Although she slips, and Angel reverts to Dawsonness, she catches herself and states that he isn't. Hmmm. We can mostly agree that S6 wasn't holding hands and Season 7 Buffy didn't consider Spike her boyfriend. So please can you say it with me...THE LINES ARE LESS DEFINED!!!
So if you can imagine, my friend and I are sitting in the bar, sipping our cheap Pinot Grigio (well she paid for it) and she smirks triumphantly. Bangel has won, she's probably thinking. But no! I refuse to relent. Not because I'm a Spuffy, because I'm not really a shipper. The reason I adore Spuffy is because it refuses to stay between the lines. From a narrative perspective, it's beautiful, dark and imperfect. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not romanticising it. To say I enjoyed watching it, is not the same as saying "Yes, mutually abusive relationships are healthy!!!". But despite the truth in that, why am I not allowed to see something beautiful in it. Something with which we can identify, even if it is painful.
What about Bangel? How can I not love it? I am a romantic idealistic underneath it all, however I'm loath to idea that they will keep revisiting the whole, "I love you but we can't be together" Bangel company line, but this doesn't mean I can't reminisce about times past.
Does she love them equally. Probably, probably not. Maybe Angel is the one she loves more than anything in this world. Or perhaps Spike, the curse free vampire may be the one she wants and needs now.
Side points to people points:
Common Bangel arguments
Spuffy Season 6 is unhealthy and in Season 7 they were just friends.
One scene that crystalised it, in my head was in First Date. She's known Xander for years and he is one of her best friends, but the way she runs to Spike even though they are both injured after the fight is too vibey to ignore. Even Wood saw there was something there and he doesn't even watch the show and you can bet he's not a Spuffy.
Bangel is true love
Until Buffy says "Angel is my true love and Spike isn't, just so you know there isn't any confusion", I'm going to leave this open to interpretation.
Buffy wasn't happy in Season 6
You're right she wasn't but it doesn't define the whole relationships. HOW A RELATIONSHIP STARTS OUT DOES NOT DETERMINE HOW IT ENDS.
Common Spuffy arguments
Bangel is highschool love
It's true in that it happened in highschool but as it's been said, people can get married in then and be in love for the rest of their days. If Buffy defined it as 'highschool love', then I'd understand but in Season 7 she considers Angel some she loved more than anything else. Looking at how that scene is portrayed she almost still lives in that moment. It was real to her.
How can Angel love her as soon as he saw her?
I've seen many replies to this ranging from "Because it's true love" or "It's love at first sight" or "He wasn't being literal". To that I'd say yes...Oh explainy? Well you cannot, in my eyes seperate the love from the lover. Your interpretation to that would most likely be due to your subjective experiences. Even if Angel is being literal, it doesn't bother me. If it's real to him then it's real.
Angel is a mind-wiping/breakingupwithyouonprom/overbrooding/baddancing/can'tloveherwithoutasoul motherlover.
Ok I can almost understand the other things but, bad dancer? He only imagined he was bad dancer. Boreanaz can pop and lock and I'm still annoyed they didn't incorperate this more into the show.
But seriously. As I always say you cannot seperate the love from the lover. Not everything Angel did, I agree with because he's not pefect. Spike made some wrong calls with Buffy because of who and what he was.
This is all I have for now because I'm bored and need to get a glass of water.
Btw I voted for the third option.