Wishing Oceans
I don't think, I know.
- Joined
- Nov 9, 2008
- Messages
- 2,103
Ok guys, I've been thinking about this, and here's a couple of quotes that make me think of the AR:
1. (Cordelia, To Lilah, about women and power, in Billy)
"It's not the pain. It's the helplessness. The certainty that there is nothing you can do to stop it, that your life can be thrown away in an instant by someone else. He doesn't care. He'll beat you down until you stay down because he doesn't even think of you as alive. No woman should ever have to go through that, and no woman strong enough to wear the mantel of 'vicious bitch' would ever put up with it."
2. (Conversation between Giles and Buffy, I Only Have Eyes For You)
Giles: "To forgive is an act of compassion, Buffy. It's, it's not done because people deserve it. It's done because they need it."
(I did have another quote, but.. I seem to have forgotten it. XD )
Alright, so I was thinking about this issue last night, and I've come to some conclusions about:
1. It wasn't completely Buffy OR Spike's fault
2. Spike, in a way, is kind of a victim in this situation (Sounds bad, but don't worry, I'll explain 😀 )
3. ... Gosh, I keep forgetting everything! xD
Anyway, I think that conclusion #2 is the one that I should explain...
Observe quote #1 porfavor, the one from Billy. 😀 I feel that this quote on how women were treated is uncannily similar to the way Spike was treated. Here, I'll decipher it bit by bit xD :
It's not the pain. It's the helplessness. Spike could handle blows, but he couldn't do anything back. He was completely helpless, and they took advantage of that, especially Buffy and Xander. The certainty that there is nothing you can do to stop it, that your life can be thrown away in an instant by someone else. He did have to live with the constant paranoia that they would beat or kill him, and being helpless, he wouldn't be able to do anything to stop them. Kinda like how in S5 Buffy always used Spike as her punching bag. He doesn't care. He'll beat you down until you stay down because he doesn't even think of you as alive. Dead Things flashback... Buffy often said that Spike wasn't anything, just a disgusting thing. That's actually a form of abuse intended to make someone feel bad enough about themselves to believe what you say, which puts them under your power. Buffy did beat him down, usually for no reason at all, several times. And she didn't even particularly care, never apologized or anything. She thought he was a "thing", not even alive or capable of feeling, when really SHE was the one incapable of feeling (in S6). No woman should ever have to go through that, and no woman strong enough to wear the mantel of 'vicious bitch' would ever put up with it. They (The SG) constantly tried to get both physical and mental control over him, used him to their advantage and tossed him to the garbage when they didn't need him, disrespected him, abused him, victimized him, and were just all 'round unfair. It's like beating up someone who's paralyzed; It's cowardly. And also, unheroic. As someone once said, a hero is not defined by how they treat their friends, but how they treat their fallen enemies. Hm... Epic fail? 😀 And also, let my rephrase that last part: No [creature] should ever have to go through that, and no [creature] strong enough to wear the mantle of [evil thing] would EVER put up with it. I'm surprised that Spike did put up with it, for the most part. (Except with that S4 betrayal thing) He could've done something, but he didn't.
So, that was how Spike was victimized in general. xD But I want a closer look on how Spike was victimized in the AR:
Spike was driven practically insane this season. First, Buffy comes back. The happiest moment of his unlife. They grow close, and seem to be good friends. They start kissing, but afterwards Buffy always denies anything and everything. It brings him to this really confused place: Does she want? Does she not want me? All these contradictions! Then they start sleeping together. In this case, as in most, sex just complicates the equation. For "five hours" she seems to like, sometimes more. Than, at other random times, she'll go right back to hurting him to make herself feel better. As I said, very puzzling. He kinda thought she loved him, kinda thought she hated him. But she kept sending him mixed signals, so every time he thought he had an answer she would say something else, and he'd be all confused again. xD It was really a dark place, and neither really knew what they wanted. Buffy didn't know if she had actual, real feelings for him, or if she was just using him for sex. Spike wasn't sure either, so they weren't ever really at agreement for what their relationship really was. They never actually stopped to talk it over, to make sure the other was thinking the same thing, and understood what was and wasn't acceptable for their relationship. Because of that, Spike really didn't know where to draw the line, where to back off. Buffy had wanted him to hurt her, to be vicious and wild and crazy with her, so he realize that now it was time for him to back off. He was hearing so many things, all of them contradictory: She said she couldn't let him get killed and had feelings for him, but she could never trust him and thought he was an evil thing. Yeah... What? Seriously, I can understand why Spike was confused. Their relationship had no actual limits or boundaries, because they had never MADE those limits or boundaries. He didn't get it, but nothing was making sense. He chose to think optimistically though, and took half of her signals to the conclusion that she still wanted him. After all, she SAID she still wanted him. When she told him to stop, in his slightly twisted mind he thought it was just like all those other times she told him to stop. He didn't take it into account, because he never had to before. Buffy hadn't wanted him to be a gentleman to her before, she was using him as a way to punish herself. Hence, no was fairly meaningless. By the time he had taken into account her crying and shrieks, he was already too far gone into the crazed passion to realize and think that he needed to stop.
When she kicked him, I think that reality really hit him: As said in Dead Things, "This isn't some fantasy, this isn't a game you freaks! It's rape!" He was stuck in some delusion that Buffy wanted him, he wanted her, and they could be happy together. And he thought that if you could make Buffy see, or rather feel that, than she would understand and realize the truth of it, lol. Ridiculous, I know. xD
Of course, in no way I'm saying this as an excuse. No, I'm just trying to interpret this in the best and hopefully most realistic way I can. =)
Now, let's observe quote #2, from IOHEFY:
Giles: "To forgive is an act of compassion, Buffy. It's, it's not done because people deserve it. It's done because they need it."
I think that this quote is the epitome of what people need to remember. Spike may not deserve forgiveness, but he needs it, and he certainly earned it. If that makes sense. xD
As the quote goes, you don't have to forget, but thou must forgive. You can always remember what Spike did, just like what all the other characters, and think about how he developed since then, how you forgave him, and how essentially you are better for it. Bitterness is never good. 🙂
I'm not sure what you mean about vegetables... And what's so bad about hurting people, anyway? What makes humans better than everyone else, lol? Maybe Slayers should all die for hurting vampires.
Ahhh, torture. Humans torture, especially in the food industry. I used to make protest essays, actually. I can p.m. you one if you like. 😀 See, I just don't like that humans can do whatever they like and get away with it, simply because they're human. But if any other creature steps one toe outta line... BOOM! EVVVIILLLLLL! 😀
I do enjoy the kill or be killed philosophy... 😀
Lol, I meant God as in above everyone and everything else. 😀 Like, Godliness. Not Aphrodite. 😉
Yet, you don't think humans are evil? The one species in the whole world that causes the most destruction? The one that kills thousands of SPECIES every year? xD
Hm, I got the impression that he killed him, but I'll go back and check for ya. =)
Hah, did you not here Angel's "love humanity" speech?
It was still killing humans, which, in most societies, is punishable. 😀
They ALL felt bad, for the most part. And I'm not quite sure what you mean with Angel... He DID kill innocent people while ensouled, such as that man in the 'shop during one of S4 Angelus' flashbacks. 😀 Also, Drogyn. And he almost killed Wes, the attempt was there.
Only because he had a COMPLETELY different life... It was barely even Connor anymore. BTW, do you read the comics, hon?
Who knows, hopefully I've never find out. 🙂
No and no. 😀 I meant that technically Gunn didn't kill Fred, because never in his wildest dreams had he thought that signing that paper would have EVER come back to bite Fred. I'm not saying that it was OK for him to not care about hurting some other person, but he never tried to hurt Fred. 🙂 And I don't think that Wes should have let his fake dad kill Fred, I'm just listing that as one of his many kills. 🙂
True, but still. I can never stop myself when an opportunity to criticize the human species appears... (Lol, I'm so sadistic 😀 )
1. (Cordelia, To Lilah, about women and power, in Billy)
"It's not the pain. It's the helplessness. The certainty that there is nothing you can do to stop it, that your life can be thrown away in an instant by someone else. He doesn't care. He'll beat you down until you stay down because he doesn't even think of you as alive. No woman should ever have to go through that, and no woman strong enough to wear the mantel of 'vicious bitch' would ever put up with it."
2. (Conversation between Giles and Buffy, I Only Have Eyes For You)
Giles: "To forgive is an act of compassion, Buffy. It's, it's not done because people deserve it. It's done because they need it."
(I did have another quote, but.. I seem to have forgotten it. XD )
Alright, so I was thinking about this issue last night, and I've come to some conclusions about:
1. It wasn't completely Buffy OR Spike's fault
2. Spike, in a way, is kind of a victim in this situation (Sounds bad, but don't worry, I'll explain 😀 )
3. ... Gosh, I keep forgetting everything! xD
Anyway, I think that conclusion #2 is the one that I should explain...
Observe quote #1 porfavor, the one from Billy. 😀 I feel that this quote on how women were treated is uncannily similar to the way Spike was treated. Here, I'll decipher it bit by bit xD :
It's not the pain. It's the helplessness. Spike could handle blows, but he couldn't do anything back. He was completely helpless, and they took advantage of that, especially Buffy and Xander. The certainty that there is nothing you can do to stop it, that your life can be thrown away in an instant by someone else. He did have to live with the constant paranoia that they would beat or kill him, and being helpless, he wouldn't be able to do anything to stop them. Kinda like how in S5 Buffy always used Spike as her punching bag. He doesn't care. He'll beat you down until you stay down because he doesn't even think of you as alive. Dead Things flashback... Buffy often said that Spike wasn't anything, just a disgusting thing. That's actually a form of abuse intended to make someone feel bad enough about themselves to believe what you say, which puts them under your power. Buffy did beat him down, usually for no reason at all, several times. And she didn't even particularly care, never apologized or anything. She thought he was a "thing", not even alive or capable of feeling, when really SHE was the one incapable of feeling (in S6). No woman should ever have to go through that, and no woman strong enough to wear the mantel of 'vicious bitch' would ever put up with it. They (The SG) constantly tried to get both physical and mental control over him, used him to their advantage and tossed him to the garbage when they didn't need him, disrespected him, abused him, victimized him, and were just all 'round unfair. It's like beating up someone who's paralyzed; It's cowardly. And also, unheroic. As someone once said, a hero is not defined by how they treat their friends, but how they treat their fallen enemies. Hm... Epic fail? 😀 And also, let my rephrase that last part: No [creature] should ever have to go through that, and no [creature] strong enough to wear the mantle of [evil thing] would EVER put up with it. I'm surprised that Spike did put up with it, for the most part. (Except with that S4 betrayal thing) He could've done something, but he didn't.
So, that was how Spike was victimized in general. xD But I want a closer look on how Spike was victimized in the AR:
Spike was driven practically insane this season. First, Buffy comes back. The happiest moment of his unlife. They grow close, and seem to be good friends. They start kissing, but afterwards Buffy always denies anything and everything. It brings him to this really confused place: Does she want? Does she not want me? All these contradictions! Then they start sleeping together. In this case, as in most, sex just complicates the equation. For "five hours" she seems to like, sometimes more. Than, at other random times, she'll go right back to hurting him to make herself feel better. As I said, very puzzling. He kinda thought she loved him, kinda thought she hated him. But she kept sending him mixed signals, so every time he thought he had an answer she would say something else, and he'd be all confused again. xD It was really a dark place, and neither really knew what they wanted. Buffy didn't know if she had actual, real feelings for him, or if she was just using him for sex. Spike wasn't sure either, so they weren't ever really at agreement for what their relationship really was. They never actually stopped to talk it over, to make sure the other was thinking the same thing, and understood what was and wasn't acceptable for their relationship. Because of that, Spike really didn't know where to draw the line, where to back off. Buffy had wanted him to hurt her, to be vicious and wild and crazy with her, so he realize that now it was time for him to back off. He was hearing so many things, all of them contradictory: She said she couldn't let him get killed and had feelings for him, but she could never trust him and thought he was an evil thing. Yeah... What? Seriously, I can understand why Spike was confused. Their relationship had no actual limits or boundaries, because they had never MADE those limits or boundaries. He didn't get it, but nothing was making sense. He chose to think optimistically though, and took half of her signals to the conclusion that she still wanted him. After all, she SAID she still wanted him. When she told him to stop, in his slightly twisted mind he thought it was just like all those other times she told him to stop. He didn't take it into account, because he never had to before. Buffy hadn't wanted him to be a gentleman to her before, she was using him as a way to punish herself. Hence, no was fairly meaningless. By the time he had taken into account her crying and shrieks, he was already too far gone into the crazed passion to realize and think that he needed to stop.
When she kicked him, I think that reality really hit him: As said in Dead Things, "This isn't some fantasy, this isn't a game you freaks! It's rape!" He was stuck in some delusion that Buffy wanted him, he wanted her, and they could be happy together. And he thought that if you could make Buffy see, or rather feel that, than she would understand and realize the truth of it, lol. Ridiculous, I know. xD
Of course, in no way I'm saying this as an excuse. No, I'm just trying to interpret this in the best and hopefully most realistic way I can. =)
Now, let's observe quote #2, from IOHEFY:
Giles: "To forgive is an act of compassion, Buffy. It's, it's not done because people deserve it. It's done because they need it."
I think that this quote is the epitome of what people need to remember. Spike may not deserve forgiveness, but he needs it, and he certainly earned it. If that makes sense. xD
As the quote goes, you don't have to forget, but thou must forgive. You can always remember what Spike did, just like what all the other characters, and think about how he developed since then, how you forgave him, and how essentially you are better for it. Bitterness is never good. 🙂
When I was writing I meant that vampire’s were evil because they “hurt” people, with torture and stuff. In case they just killed, quickly and without that much pain, it wouldn’t be evil. It’s not like I only eat vegetable, it’s a part of nature.
But even if vampire only killed without pain, I would still be on the slayers side. In case I found out there were vampires in the world, who could kill someone I like, I would hopefully try to kill those vamps to protect people.
I'm not sure what you mean about vegetables... And what's so bad about hurting people, anyway? What makes humans better than everyone else, lol? Maybe Slayers should all die for hurting vampires.
Ahhh, torture. Humans torture, especially in the food industry. I used to make protest essays, actually. I can p.m. you one if you like. 😀 See, I just don't like that humans can do whatever they like and get away with it, simply because they're human. But if any other creature steps one toe outta line... BOOM! EVVVIILLLLLL! 😀
So not really double standards. I just sided with humanity on the eating or getting eaten question. I think killing vamps are okay, because otherwise they’ll kill us.
I do enjoy the kill or be killed philosophy... 😀
Why said Gods don’t deserve to get killed? I read a bit of mythology and I have to say, bring on the God-killing.
Lol, I meant God as in above everyone and everything else. 😀 Like, Godliness. Not Aphrodite. 😉
And I don’t think many people would say there’s a true good and a true evil, but we all have different views of it. As I said, for me causing unnecessary harm is evil.
Yet, you don't think humans are evil? The one species in the whole world that causes the most destruction? The one that kills thousands of SPECIES every year? xD
The shooting that office guy was bad, but wasn’t that in the knee? So not killing, but still bad. Very bad. But understandable.
Hm, I got the impression that he killed him, but I'll go back and check for ya. =)
And Knox had to die, definitely.
Hah, did you not here Angel's "love humanity" speech?
How is Gunn a killer? Otherfor the shipping signing that caused Fred’s death and killing the professor, which I think is fine, since he almost got Fred killed and had done similar to other students and was likely to do it again?
It was still killing humans, which, in most societies, is punishable. 😀
And yes, Angel should be killed because he killed that demon slave, but not for any other kill. And Faith felt really bad about the people she hurt/killed, she changed, that’s different.
They ALL felt bad, for the most part. And I'm not quite sure what you mean with Angel... He DID kill innocent people while ensouled, such as that man in the 'shop during one of S4 Angelus' flashbacks. 😀 Also, Drogyn. And he almost killed Wes, the attempt was there.
And Connor, I’m not sure. He really seemed okay the last we saw on him in season 5, and he’s definitely fine in the comics.
Only because he had a COMPLETELY different life... It was barely even Connor anymore. BTW, do you read the comics, hon?
Faith and Connor are ex-killers. Wesley’s dad was about to kill someone. There’s the difference. If someone was about to shot someone you loved, wouldn’t you shot them first if you had the chance?
Who knows, hopefully I've never find out. 🙂
I’m starting to get upset now. You think that Gunn getting a stranger killed is fine and that Wes should have let his fake father kill Fred?
No and no. 😀 I meant that technically Gunn didn't kill Fred, because never in his wildest dreams had he thought that signing that paper would have EVER come back to bite Fred. I'm not saying that it was OK for him to not care about hurting some other person, but he never tried to hurt Fred. 🙂 And I don't think that Wes should have let his fake dad kill Fred, I'm just listing that as one of his many kills. 🙂
I wasn’t comparing species, I was comparing you and Spike. I said that Spike might rape a dead woman. You said he wouldn’t, because it’s gross and not fun. I said that I think Spike might disagree with you on your view of what’s fun and gross(ergo, he might think it’s fun and lovely to rape dead women, so what you think is gross and not fun has nothing to do with that he might think. Unless you think he agrees with you).
True, but still. I can never stop myself when an opportunity to criticize the human species appears... (Lol, I'm so sadistic 😀 )