Gum Gnome33
"Well, yeah..."
- Joined
- Jan 10, 2011
- Messages
- 1,148
then it’s only to be expected that he would do things like trying to attack a woman as soon as it seems like his chip doesn’t work or attempting to force himself on the woman he claims to love. If he does have confused notions of humanity, though, then he’s clearly making a choice to follow his worst nature when he doesn’t have to, and that’s despicable.
It's expected that he, a soulless being, would try each of those things. But there's more to each of those incidences. In the first, he has to talk himself into biting her, which shows significant progress. He literally has to convince himself to do what is in his nature as a demon. How common an occurrence is that among predators, I wonder? That he succumbs to it is ultimately of course a problem, but he does become acutely aware of that, when his inherent demonic nature leads him to force himself on Buffy, (the final straw.) I know we've argued this before, but I still firmly believe that he would NOT have gone through with the act, considering the way he acts as soon as Buffy kicks him. He looks shocked, disgusted, and remorseful, then goes to ensure it won't happen again.
So anyway, my point is that he is not GOOD here, but when dealing with the idea of a creature who is inherently evil, it is significant to note that he can recognize those traits and feel disgusted by them. That, obviously, does not make him good alone and wouldn't even be worth mentioning let alone regarding as significant were he ensouled.
Holy crap, that’s a broad definition of selfishness, and I disagree. Sometimes people do things for loved ones simply because they love them. (I am here referring to people, not soulless vampires.) Sometimes it’s less simple, and selfless motives are mixed in with selfish ones. Soulless vampires, on the other hand, can only ever have selfish motives.
People do things for others because they love them, yes. That is ultimately selfish, and there is nothing wrong with it.
I think there are two kinds of selfishness:
One is a terrible thing; it's taking advantage of another for personal gain, putting oneself in front of another with no regard for their well-being.
One is a virtue, and it involves protecting oneself, one's family, loved ones. Sometimes doing a great act of kindness is ultimately selfish.
A truly selfLESS act is one in which the person doing the act can and does not benefit in any way. Most acts, then, are selfish. Some are selfish and harmful, a great deal are selfish but wonderful.
People call Spike selfish for protecting Dawn, claiming that he only did it because he loves Buffy. So? That's bad, how, exactly? If Spike were a man, with a soul, he'd be praised as a hero for the exact same act, with his love for Buffy as a motivation.
Are these statistics supposed to support your claim that it isn’t true that when you love someone, you don’t try to rape them? Because all they do for me is prove that at least 14% of married people are actually selfish abusive scumbags who don’t actually love their spouses. Rape and love are mutually exclusive. They cannot coexist in the same person in the same relationship, and any rapist who claims to love the victim is grossly deluded.
Yes, I believe I addressed the idea of the "gross delusion" in my original post. Here is the rest of the excerpt quoting myself:
"Even the most sick, sociopathic and evil human beings are capable of love. They experience it in unhealthy ways and they express it in unhealthy ways. But love is not an absolute concept; rather, it's relative to those who experience it. A cruel, violent person capable of rape can also be capable of love--it just isn't the same kind of love that results in a trustworthy, safe partnership."
Love is an emotion relative to those who experience it. Rape is an absolute action. A sociopathic, sick individual who can't understand what is in the best interest of another person, (and perhaps with a lack of a fully formed conscience), might be able to love. He or she might not understand what a healthy, functional love is. To help avoid feeling the pangs of nausea that accompany that thought, it's easier to think of it in terms of vampires, who are ultimately a metaphor for such a person. Spike and Dru love each other, Angelus and Darla love each other, (though the latter is more of a utilitarian relationship I think). They do terrible things to each other and associate them with love. In season 6 when Spike was continuously going back and forth with the amount of control he had over his nature, he succumbed to his vampiric, sociopathic understanding of love, (which is something that human beings experience too). The difference is that he realized this and went to do something about it.
Back to the real world: people equate love with marriage, no? Perhaps they shouldn't, automatically, but as a society, that's the general association. If a woman reports to a police officer that she is raped by her husband, her case is likely to get dismissed--and certainly chances are that it won't be given as much consideration as some others, (in some cultures, not at all). There are societies and cultures who believe, (as I already stated), that a woman relinquishes her right to deny sex--or have any control over her body--as soon as she is married, and sometimes that extends to a "serious relationship" as well. You and I agree that the rapist does not truly love the victim--not in the sense of the word that corresponds to what we feel and experience in our own lives. But the rapist may very well claim to, and the victim, (and this is the truly harrowing part), will believe that he/she does as well.
The bottom line is, if we start drawing lines as to where it is and isn't possible for a rape to take place; as to which circumstances qualify as rape and which do not, we risk dismissing or ignoring the cases that are not black and white and do not fit neatly into those established categories. Because love is not absolute, we don't have the convenience of saying "there was love here, therefore there could have been no rape."
It would be fantastic to live in a world in which everyone loved in the same way; in a pure and wholesome way which always took into account the well being of the loved one. I'm sure everyone here on the boards views love in this way, and I hope everyone here experiences exclusively that kind of love. My point is that there are other things that go on that we can't ignore. Yes, we don't have vampires in the world but aside from the blood-sucking, human beings can get very, very close. And that is what I was referring to.
J
Jod
totally agree with most of what you have said. especially the selfish acts bit. It doesnt matter why he did the good things he did..the important thing is he DID it :)
Z
zobothehobo
and then the heavens opened up and this post was born