Question Why Bangel Doesn't Work For You?

[Kean]

Ok, before you all think I have lost my mind, there is a method to this madness. I'm trying to write an article of sorts for an LJ community on (what else?) Bangel. I want to be as objective as possible though. I can list a thousand reasons why I think Bangel works but for those (poor poor) people who don't like or even detest the ship I would appreciate if you could help me out and explain why?

I don't want this thread turning into a Bangel vs fill in the blank thread. Simply list why Buffy and Angel together is wrong to you. No other character should come into it.

And please my fellow B/A's don't try and argue against what is said (tempting as it will be 😉)...I plan on doing that in the article 🙂 lol

Thanks in advance guys!😀

 

[Perny]

Why is Bangel not working for me? Why is napalm not working for people with skin?

....Bangel is to me just the metaphor of puppy cuddly love. The kind you have when you are in school, and everything is dandy. As soon as they made with the boinking, that love grew up, and Buffy was faced with grown up love, and that people change....


Also, I think Spike is hotter than Angel (A)

 

[Kean]

Why is Bangel not working for me? Why is napalm not working for people with skin?

....Bangel is to me just the metaphor of puppy cuddly love. The kind you have when you are in school, and everything is dandy. As soon as they made with the boinking, that love grew up, and Buffy was faced with grown up love, and that people change....


Also, I think Spike is hotter than Angel (A)

When you say Buffy was faced with grown-up love do you mean with Angel or someone else?

 

[Bluebird]

I don't have a preference of ship, but I can see bad points about them all. I think Bangel suffered a bit from the old cheesy dialogue problem, plus the fact they seemed a bit too self-absorbed sometimes.

 

[Perny]

Angel as the first kind of grown up love.

 

[Crazy Flakes]

Basically, like Perny said, the Bangel relationship just seems a bit immature. They didn't establish any sort of relationship and get to know each other like a lot of the other couples did (and I'm not going to go into that, since, like you said, this shouldn't turn into a shipping war) before they were suddenly head over heels for each other. It was pretty much just them seeing each other and thinking, "Ooh, he/she is sexy, I'm in love with him/her." And even after they began their relationship, they didn't seem to have any sort of friendly connection...sure, they occasionally had moments where they seemed to genuinely bond, but most of the time, it was just angst.

 

[Kean]

Angel as the first kind of grown up love.

And they couldn't handle that or their love wasn't strong enough? real enough?

Don't mean to push here hun I just want to make sure I get your meaning correctly.

Thanks so much for taking part 🙂

 

[Revolver]

I'm of the opinion that unless something were to change in Angel's situation (Shashu prophecy, curse lifted, something along those lines), he isn't meant to be with anyone. It's not because he doesn't deserve happiness, but he literally cannot have it. To be with Buffy, and perhaps Cordelia, was to put others in danger. And I think the advice he's given on Angel, that perfect happiness is so rare he shouldn't worry and go for it, is pretty bad advice actually. He can either be with someone who can truly make him happy and stay emotionally removed from them and out of their bed, or he can be with someone else and moreless say, "don't worry. YOU'LL never make me that happy." And that just seems unfair to whomever he might be with. Certainly Buffy deserved something better than what Angel was equipped to give her.

 

[Perny]

Not at all. It wasn't about handling love. It was basically just, to me, that Buffy and Angel had this immature kind of love. It was not deep like everyone claims. It was a 16/17 year old (brat) girl, who saw a really hot and mysterious guy, and wanted to be his girlfriend. And when they had sex for the first time, Angelus became the symbol of change. Angel changed, as many does in real life. And Buffy couldn't handle it. She suddenly faced real life.

Sorry, I'm trying to put it out as clear as I can, so forgive me if it doesn't make sense at all.

 

[Blondie Bear]

I agree with Revolver in that, as it stands, Angel can't be with anyone. Aside from that, I also tend to find Bangel very mushy, cheesy, puppy-dog high school. Not that that's always bad; I think it worked for the second season. After that, however, when they discovered the flip side of Angel's curse, I think it was incredibly selfish of both of them to continue the relationship. True, they were responsible in that they never had sex again, but the very fact that they're together puts them, their friends, Buffy's family, in constant danger. I realize that most relationships are built on selfishness--we tend to hang out with people who make US happy--but there is a necessary give-and-take in a successful relationship, and I just didn't see that very often with them. Even when Buffy saved Angel's life in "What's My Line Part 2," it was because "nobody messes with my boyfriend."

Maybe the issue with Buffy was that she was giving so much, constantly, to everyone else, that with Angel, it was all about her because it could be all about her. I don't know what Angel's excuse was, though.

 

[white avenger]

(Just remember, Miss K, you asked for this)

The truth of the matter is, I have no problem whatsoever with Buffy's relationship with Angel. It's the kind of first love that every young girl should have. A tall, dark, handsome stranger, tortured by a sinister past, haunted by the people who he has wronged, struggling to, in some small way, atone for his sins. It's the source of fairy tales, not to mention literally hundreds of Harlequin romance novels. Even the curse is in keeping with the classic tale. Two lovers kept forever apart, never able to enjoy a normal life together. That's great stuff. I may mist up at any moment now.

My problem isn't with the relationship, my problem is with the almost obsessive attempt to hang onto it once its time is past. Everyone has a first love, and for one very important reason: without a first love, there can never be a second love, or a third, or a fifth. My point is, our first love teaches us HOW to love. It's a foundation that we build our lives on, that guides us in every relationship that we will ever have in our entire lives. And, just like any other foundation, it's only true purpose is to serve as a base to build on.

In some remote corner of the Whedonverse, on some future date, an older, hopefully wiser, and certainly more experienced Buffy may meet the champion that Angel will eventually come to be, and they will remember their time together, the love and tears, the pleasure and pain of it. They might even fall in love all over again. Buffy's cookies will be properly baked and Angel will have conquered the ghosts of his past. They might fall in love again. But when they do, it will have to be a man and woman falling in love, not a girl with a high school crush on someone she doesn't really know, neither of whom have any real idea of what true love really is.

Maybe that's what will happen. Far more likely, they'll both wind up with somebody else, and maybe they'll all get together on Wednesday nights and go bowling together.

 

[JohnnyThunders]

Angel's Nancy Boy Hair gel.

 

[Schillaci]

Angel was lusting after a child, who he took advantage of. Stalked her, groomed her, after a sort. And then he dumped her when he realised they couldn't 'get it on' ever. Everything after the dumping was just pathetic and desperate. There, that's a brief brutally honest synopsis of the abuse that was Bangel.


Love is built, lust fizzles out.

 

[Fresley4ever]

Bangel didn't work for me because they just seemed to be more miserable around each other.

 

[white avenger]

Bangel didn't work for me because they just seemed to be more miserable around each other.

All of the Buffy relationships, not just the romances, but the friendships as well, seem to have a common thread. She almost never laughs. We only rarely even see her in an overly happy state. Even Xander's antics rarely got more than an eye roll from her. I don't know if that was supposed to illustrate the seriousness of Buffy's life and the constant pressure that she was under, or if Sarah has some kind of problem with that sort of scene, but whatever it is, the Slayer has always seemed to be sort of sad. But it's not just with Angel (and I really can't believe that I'm defending Ol' Broody here) she seems to be that way most of the time.

Maybe she needs a puppy.

 

[ubi4soft]

Angel wants redemption more than anything in his life, including Buffy. He also loves Connor more, Buffy doesn't trust Angel..

 

[Tranquillity]

I suppose, from a shipper perspective, my problem with Buffy and Angel is that it was a little too angsty, it was kinda self-involved and it was repedative to the point that it verged on melodramatic. I enjoyed Bufffy and Angel together at the time of original airing but I was not upset when it ended. It seemed like the natural conclusion of the relationship to me. White Avenger really summed it up well in his previous post:

My problem isn't with the relationship, my problem is with the almost obsessive attempt to hang onto it once its time is past. Everyone has a first love, and for one very important reason: without a first love, there can never be a second love, or a third, or a fifth. My point is, our first love teaches us HOW to love. It's a foundation that we build our lives on, that guides us in every relationship that we will ever have in our entire lives. And, just like any other foundation, it's only true purpose is to serve as a base to build on.

(WA, would have given karma but you were the last person I gave it to)

I think that is what bothers a lot of non-bangels about the ship.

 

[Kean]

(Just remember, Miss K, you asked for this)

My problem isn't with the relationship, my problem is with the almost obsessive attempt to hang onto it once its time is past.

I don't mean to start a further debate here but I just wanted to say a little something on this. I can't speak for every Bangel but the reason we still ship Buffy and Angel so strongly is because, well, it doesn't feel over. Now this isn't some deluded fan girl ramblings, this is completely in response to the canon we have been given.

The cornerstone of the Buffy and Angel relationship during seasons 1-3 can be summed up in one word: forever. That's what they promised each other, that's how long they wanted to be together, that's what they dreamed of. This is what we as fans were shown...and we believe in it, and we have every reason to.

Since their seperation we have had several reaffirmations of their love and bond, of their desire to find forever with each other. As Mr.Whedon says about B/A himself, "...everytime they come together it has enourmous power, enourmous meaning". Nearly every moment of interaction they have had since Graduation Part II has been laced with the love and longing they feel for each other. IWRY speaks for itself, but then there are episodes like Forever where Buffy pleads with Angel to give her just that: forever, with him. That was two years after their parting. Angel himself refers to Buffy as the woman he loves, as the one. When Buffy is resurrected they rush to see each other. In the final season of the show Buffy passionately declares that "I loved him more than I will every love anything in this life" and in the very last episode the man who gave Buffy her first kiss in Sunnydale gave her her last. They promised each other a future together. Those are the last words and scenes we have on the two. Why in the name of God would we believe, even for a moment, that they and their bond was in the past?

As Buffy herslef said, "...it's never over".

 

[Willow-Tree]

Bangel doesn't work for me because of a few reasons:

1). It's too devestating to watch. I mean, there ARE some sweet moments, but the bad moments outweigh them by far.
2). In season 8/season 6, they NEVER see each other, talk about each other, or talk to each other. In what universe is this love?

More later.

 

[Gideon]

Bangel doesn't work for me because of a few reasons:

1). It's too devestating to watch. I mean, there ARE some sweet moments, but the bad moments outweigh them by far.

I can only assume, then, that Spuffy doesn't work for you either. 😛

2). In season 8/season 6, they NEVER see each other, talk about each other, or talk to each other. In what universe is this love?

More later.

Eh? Buffy abandons Giles and Dawn at the very end of "Flooded" for a rendezvous with Angel, claiming she absolutely must see him. That's season six. You'll note she's not that desperate to see Spike.

And they're both a little busy in season 8, Angel trapped in hell courtesy of Wolfram & Hart and Buffy dealing with Twilight. Not to mention she has fantasies of both Angel and Spike in season 8.