Your Opinion on Homosexuality.

[zobothehobo]

I'm gay. I really don't like most of the gay guys I meet though. So I guess I'm a homo-homophobe. I think we should have the same rights of course, but the problem is that we're not just asking for equality, in some situations we're asking for preferrential treatment. We want to be able to rip people to shreds and call it being bitchy and fun, but when someone does the same to us we demand blood. And beyond that, I've seen an imense amount of paranoia in the gay community. Not everything bad that happens to us is because of some evil homophobe out to kick us in the gut. Not too long ago a friend of mine lost his job and he deserved to lose it, he was always, always late. And when he was there he did a crap job, but they kept letting it slide and giving him chances and being, in my opinion, really understanding, but eventually they had enough and let him go. He organized a protest outside their building. He was so convinced that it was because he was gay...it couldn't possibly be because he was a horrible employee and when I tried to calm him down about it, I got labeled a self-hating queer. That's just one example, but by far it's not the only one I have.

I just think that we're feeling really entitled to this idea of equality that we lose touch with reality on certain subjects.

Oh my god. Thank you for posting this... The bolded part is my favorite of this whole paragraph. I agree. That's why I despise Perez Hilton and this whole "gay people are divas" thing...

on the paranoia front, I admit to have done that... but in my case, I still think it was homophobia. On another forum I'm on they way things are moderated is if a post is flagged as abusive 5 times, it gets hidden until a staff member can look at it and either un-hide it or keep it hidden. Up until a few weeks ago, everything I posted about anything involving me being gay (even if it was about a girl I had a crush on or something) it would be immediately hidden by forum members and then if a staff member was online, it wouldn't be un-hidden until I posted it again. I got used to copy and pasting everything I said in a word document so I could re-post it to let the staff know I wanted that to be there... This forum is full of people talking about their crushes and romantic relationships and so I found it really offensive when they wouldn't let me say anything about mine. The kicker for me really came when NPH tweeted about the twins for the first time back in August and I posted a thread in the "Celebrities" subforum of the "Entertainment" forum of the "Off Topic" section saying I was excited for him and David. I knew that if it was a straight couple having twins it would not have been deleted. The ONLY reason was because they were gay and I flipped out. So I'm not really sure that's paranoia... more like justifiable anger and frustration.

But yeah again, I do agree with you and I thank you for stating that. I also really hate the whole "pride parades" and the over-sexualization of them... which your post also made me think of.

 

[theroyalgoat]

Well it sounds like your frustration is justified. I know there is a lot of actual hate out there for us. Especially on the internet where you can say anything and not be held accountable for it. I just don't think it's nearly as prevalent as a lot of gay people make it out to be. I live in TINY town, our pop. is about 300, 95% of which are all rednecks. If the horror stories that you hear are true, I would deal with it as much as anyone. But since coming out I really haven't experienced that much in the way of actual discrimination. There are a few idiots who like to talk crap, but everyone from white, catholic women to blasian, midget, trannys has to deal with that.
Besides that I know there are people that it makes feel uncomfortable and that's completely fine. I think the people who get really bothered by those people are just a little insecure about themselves. There are people who make me uncomfortable and I avoid them, just like some people avoid me. It's really difficult to have to watch everything you say. I don't want deal with that, and they shouldn't have to either. People really shouldn't need that level validation. It says more about them than it does society.
And that's where I think a lot of us have issues with paranoia. I think that for a lot of people it's much easier to be hated for being gay, than it is for something specific and personal. So homophobe is getting thrown out there far more than it's deserved.

 

[Joan the Vampire Slayer]

That's because it's a damn good concept. Monogamous commitments = big no. 😛

You know, the more I think about it, the more I believe that long-term monogamy is both unnatural and very, very difficult, if not totally impossible. I'm reading this great book called "Sex Before Dawn" which delves into this topic.

I see people desperately trying to adhere to this ideal of monogamous marriage, and in the end, they just end up hurting each other terribly because they're trying to meet this impossible ideal. Some people can make it but so many can't. Shouldn't we be asking ourselves why hetero marriage has a 50% divorce rate? If you don't think you can make the commitment to be monogamous then don't make the commitment, right? Simple. Problem is, most people don't know themselves enough to make that call. If more people thought this way, and actually had the balls and introspection to admit that they are incapable of monogamy, far less people would get hurt. So, I say, if it works for you all the power to you.

But as for me, I don't think I could go through with an open relationship. This is probably why I'll never get married. I've never met anyone I can imagine spending the rest of my life with. Maybe someday I will, if I'm lucky.

 

[Litheran]

I believe it's the people entering into monogamous relationships/marriage that are the problem; not monogamy itself.

 

[theroyalgoat]

I believe it's the people entering into monogamous relationships/marriage that are the problem; not monogamy itself.

I agree. I hear people all the time talking about how we're not meant to be monogamous, and how close to impossible it is and I think it's a load of BS. It's really not that hard not to cheat on someone. If you're that much of a slave to your hormones there's something wrong with you and should get it checked out. It's really easy, exciting, and fun to cheat, blaming biology is just a cop out so you can feel a little less guilty about it.

I've tried open-relationships and it's cool at first, but it really doesn't take all that long for jealousy and resentment to come into the picture. And besides that, it's really not safe. We put far too much faith in condoms. Their not a golden ticket, and you can't say that monogamy isn't practical. I really don't want to google the std stats because it's really depressing. I think monogamy makes every kind of sense when the person is mature enough to handle it.

 

[Litheran]

We put far too much faith in condoms. Their not a golden ticket...

I just flashed on a very different and bizarre version of Willy Wonka.

Part of me believes that people who are marrying age now grew up with relationships in the media being portrayed as very fluid. Look at beneath you where the girl queries if any of them haven't slept together. Melrose Place and 90210 had sexual musical chairs practically.

I'm not one of those people who puts stock in the whole "Television and video games makes kids go crazy." But I do think it definitely influences the culture.

It might also be true that my own beliefs about love stem from the entertainment I watched growing up. Harold and Maude, Bonnie and Clyde, Btvs; among others.

 

[theroyalgoat]

I'm sure that media plays a large part of it and that just depresses the hell out me. There are so few actual worth while people on television. It's scary to think about what the next step is.

 

[Litheran]

I'm sure that media plays a large part of it and that just depresses the hell out me. There are so few actual worth while people on television. It's scary to think about what the next step is.

Makes me all giddy in anticipation of the day when I finally get to put my own "Buffy" on the air.

I know personally that I can't make a long term relationship work at the moment; that's why I don't date. That and the whole women find me too hot to handle thing. 😀

 

[InsaneMystic]

It's really not that hard not to cheat on someone. If you're that much of a slave to your hormones there's something wrong with you and should get it checked out. It's really easy, exciting, and fun to cheat, blaming biology is just a cop out so you can feel a little less guilty about it.

Common mistake to think ORs had anything to do with cheating. It's not cheating if you make sure to not make exclusive commitments in the first place. It does, of course, require honesty, maturity, and self-knowledge.

Neither has it anything to do with slavery to hormones, btw. No problem to go without sex for a year or five, but even if a potential partner were currently the only potential partner in a given sitch, I would never commit to be monogamous with them. To me, celibacy is an absolutely viable alternative to polyamory; monogamy is not.

I've tried open-relationships and it's cool at first, but it really doesn't take all that long for jealousy and resentment to come into the picture.

Maturity, again. Jealousy is the problem, and it's a clear sign for lack of maturity in my eyes. IMO, if one has jealousy issues, they're not ready to be in any kind of relationship, open or otherwise, and should "clean up their house" first. Jealousy, exclusivity and all that jazz are pretty totally incompatible to what I understand the word "love" to mean, and if you don't want love to have a place in it, why bother with relationships at all?

And besides that, it's really not safe. We put far too much faith in condoms. Their not a golden ticket, and you can't say that monogamy isn't practical. I really don't want to google the std stats because it's really depressing.

Enough ways and means to make love that are near 100% safe and don't require condoms. Genital penetration really is overrated. 😉

I think monogamy makes every kind of sense when the person is mature enough to handle it.

We clearly have to agree to disagree here, I guess. Exchanging the word "monogamy" with "polyamory" in that sentence would have me sign it immediately... but I just can't see any kind of maturity in the monogamous-exclusive arrangement.

What it boils down to is - if the most beautiful gal in the world, sharing my interests and sense of humor and clearly being erotically interested in me told me she'd want to ship with me, I'd ask if she meant monogamous... and if the answer were "yes", that'd be a knockout criterion making me go for "let's just be friends". I won't be monogamous, for anyone; I just consider the concept to be utterly flawed (ethically, philosophically, spiritually, and emotionally) and wouldn't compromise my values just to have sex with a partner who clearly, by virtue of their belief in monogamy, isn't right for me.

- - -​

Anyway... way to bring this thread off track, go us. 😀 Anyone wanna open a new thread for the topic and keep this one for the discussion of Homosexuality? 🙂

 

[luckystar]

What upsets me most of all is the countries that still punish homosexuality and either put people in prison for life or simply end their life, it is absolutely disgusting and in no way justified. The bible debate is raised over and over again, and its funny to me how people can take out one line preach that out of context then ignore a million others. As a gay girl myself I am happy that some progress is being made but sadly we still have a long way to go 🙁

 

[Chosen Enemy]

I never undertood the big deal around being gay. It just means you prefer your own sex rather than the other. What's wrong about that? To me, it's completely normal. Gay people aren't sick, aren't broken, and not sinners!
Those people who think they can "fix" their gay loved ones... it's something you're born as, not something you can change, or make "better".

So I really hate those who "don't believe in homosexuality". Butt off! Gay people are some of the nicest people usually, and they don't harm you or the world. How's it your business? Has someone ever asked you how come you kiss your female wife and told you you're a sinner? Those really bother me. Not a gay person myself, but know some and have no problem with them. Let them live their lives!

 

[Christopher]

I don't give a shit if somebody is gay or straight, makes no difference to me. One thing that does get to me is when people (primarily gays) let their sexuality define them. In my opinion this does more damage to the reputation of homsexuals then good, and completely goes against it being accepted as a normal lifestyle.

 

[prophecygrrl]

What upsets me most of all is the countries that still punish homosexuality and either put people in prison for life or simply end their life, it is absolutely disgusting and in no way justified. The bible debate is raised over and over again, and its funny to me how people can take out one line preach that out of context then ignore a million others. As a gay girl myself I am happy that some progress is being made but sadly we still have a long way to go 🙁

Ugh, yes. 🙁 Like in some places in South Africa, "corrective rapes" of lesbians is common and law enforcement does little to help them. It's so heartbreaking.

 

[Bexieh]

I never undertood the big deal around being gay. It just means you prefer your own sex rather than the other. What's wrong about that? To me, it's completely normal.

Exactly! I just...don't understand. I don't understand why people should be homophobic. I don't understand why we live in a world where even a thread like this should exist. I don't understand why people care. Why does it matter what gender attracts you? I don't believe we should have to care either way. If a man goes "Oh yeah I'm dating another man" why can't we all just go "oh that's nice" and go about our day? I don't know if I'm exactly making my point full of sense here, but what I mean is I wish it was just something that was accepted, no questions asked, and a big deal didn't have to be made about it. Like it should be just a fact of life.

Alot of the friends I grew up with turned out to be gay. And I thought that was good for them. If thats what they want, awesome! So I totally support Gay Rights and all that jazz, but it just saddens me a ridiculous amount that we have to argue gay rights and not just have it as something that is accepted in the world, y'know?

 

[Harley]

So, what term do you prefer, then, if you don't mind me asking?

Discrimination?

Sure, I'll take discrimination. Or anti-gay, anti-homosexual. Hell, I'll take "bigotry" if you're offering that one up. But phobe? Not so much.


(The following is not directed at you, its for whoever wants to jump on the bandwagon of people who disagree with me...)

...By the way, the definition of bigot includes hatred. There are SO many people who believe in God, go to church, etc who do not hate gay people. Don't be so ignorant. You know what? I'll take all the negative rep people want to dish out to me here. I dont hate gay people. I was raised to believe that what they are doing is wrong just like many of you were raised to believe what they're doing is okay. You have your opinion and I have mine. And, if you look at the world around us, I'm not the only one that shares that belief. Just because other people support my belief, it doesnt make it right to you. Well, just because other people support your belief, that doesnt make it right to me. Again (just in case you missed it) I dont hate gay people. I have gay friends, here and in planet reality. Objecting to a part of who they are does not make me a bad person. It's no different than someone who doesnt like when their friend smokes or how they raise their children. We're going to disagree. I dont want you to "burn in hell" or whatever people think Christians believe. There's one small (but vocal) group of fundamentalist who give every single other Christian a bad image. To automatically assume that becuase a person is religious, they are a "bad person" is beyond idiotic. You're doing to them exactly what you're whining about them doing.

---------- Post added at 07:36 AM ---------- Previous post was at 07:33 AM ----------

Also, while I'm still on my box, I'd like to point out that there are people who think homosexuality is a sin but still support gay marriage and a person's right to join the military.

 

[InsaneMystic]

I dont want you to "burn in hell" or whatever people think Christians believe.

Just to clarify - do you not want them to burn in hell, or do you not believe they will burn in hell?

(Not trying to attack you for your faith or single you out for it, just wanting to understand your POV.)

 

[Chosen Enemy]

To me, a person who doesn't respect other person's... quality, personality, orientation... or a person with different aspects in general, doesn't deserve the respect either. Doesn't matter if it's out of religion belief or anything else. One person should respect the other, even if they're different than you, simply because THEY'RE NOT different than you. We're all people and we should respect each other, and not say someone will go to hell because they thinks that person does something that seem to them as wrong.

 

[theroyalgoat]

To me, a person who doesn't respect other person's... quality, personality, orientation... or a person with different aspects in general, doesn't deserve the respect either. Doesn't matter if it's out of religion belief or anything else. One person should respect the other, even if they're different than you, simply because THEY'RE NOT different than you. We're all people and we should respect each other, and not say someone will go to hell because they thinks that person does something that seem to them as wrong.

There's a difference between not respecting and thinking it's wrong. I thought her post was very respectful. As far as the Hell thing, she's entitled to her beliefs and in a thread called "Your Opinion on Homosexuality" she should be able to express it. Or is this thread really just for everyone in favor and support of it?

 

[Chosen Enemy]

There's a difference between not respecting and thinking it's wrong. I thought her post was very respectful. As far as the Hell thing, she's entitled to her beliefs and in a thread called "Your Opinion on Homosexuality" she should be able to express it. Or is this thread really just for everyone in favor and support of it?

That's the thing. Because she believes someone else's belief is wrong, to me is not respectful. I just say: a person who doesn't respect other "kind" of people, is not respectful. It's not only a matter of opinion, it's judging people who are "different", thinking they're doing something wrong while they're not hurting anybody.

 

[theroyalgoat]

That's the thing. Because she believes someone else's belief is wrong, to me is not respectful. I just say: a person who doesn't respect other "kind" of people, is not respectful. It's not only a matter of opinion, it's judging people who are "different", thinking they're doing something wrong while they're not hurting anybody.

Lol and you believe her belief is wrong so by your own point of view you're being disrespectful to her. Just sayin'.
I don't know a single thing about her so I have no idea if she's a judgmental bitka or not. It's not the impression that I got. I think most people in the world judge people that are different from them to a certain extent. I was just in another thread about polyamory I have my own opinions on it because it's different. I still respect the people who do it. And if it makes them happy then I even support it even though it clashes with my own beliefs and opinions. Kinda like the thing she said about some people in the church who support the repeal of DON'T ASK, DON'T TELL, and gay marriage.

We as gay people are just plain stupid if we really expect complete and total understanding and support. And why do we even deserve it? Why does my sexuality trump her faith? It doesn't. She's entitled to her world view just as anyone else. And she's entitled to express it, even if it ruffles some feathers. We're becoming far too sensitive of a society.