I'm not sure where I fit in because I watched the show from the start and in order but I always found myself, well, moving on. I'm much more invested in the characters journey's rather who they are going to end up with.
I loved Bangel when it first came around, even to the point of being anti-Ruffy, but after a while I grew to like Riley and started pulling for them. At this point Ats was really taking off so I had no interest in Angel getting back together with Buffy because that would mean the end of Ats. Also I liked Angel more as character on his own show, due to how much he'd grown. I honestly at that point couldn't imagine Buffy and Angel together at that point. Even if we did, it would be so different because of who they had become.
When my friend told me that Spike and Buffy were going to get togther, I was so excited because it was something different and new. Spike was such a contrast to Angel and I knew their relationship wasn't going to take the same course.
In
FFL I was curious about them but by Intervention was pulling for them. By this point Angel was well established on his own show and there were also signs of
Cangel so I was excited about that as well. Again it was something new and different and really suited NewAngel.
I found myself throughout Spuffy looking for signs that Buffy felt something for Spike and it was really rewarding to find something that signified that they could be together.
When the AR happened, I was actually confused because it was heavily cut when it was broadcast that I hardly knew what the fuss was about, but in all seriousness I didn't know how to react. I didn't find myself hating Spike but I was more shocked that it happened. When Spike got a soul, I was surprisingly indifferent. More because I was more invested in Ats than I was in Btvs at the time. This said, I did enjoy the beauty of Season 7 Spuffy and how the "lines were less defined" with them. However this was somewhat tainted by the fact that I didn't really enjoy Season 7 that much.
Musing on the whole subject of shipping, I've always found it an interesting aspect of the fandom. Until I joined the forum, shipping was an alien concept for me. I never thought "Buffy should be with X over Y". She was with Angel, then Riley and then Spike. I pulled for all of them more because I wanted a happy ending rather than because I thought she was better with one of them.
These are my issues with the issues regarding the ships:
Did Buffy love Angel more than Spike?
My Bangel friend with whom I often share a glass of wine, would say yes. In her eyes Spike is the vampire she'd settle for if she can't have Angel, to which I simply laugh.
You may remember I wrote a thread or at least brought up the subject as to why many Bangel's don't see Buffy love for Spike while Spuffies happily admit that Buffy did and even may still love Angel. Now I thought that might simply be shipper's view bunI recently asked my brother this question and as much as he likes Spike, he himself didn't really see the Spuffy love. Again, my mother was the same. Now she detests both Spuffy and Bangel (she actually is prejudiced against vampires, she doesn't mind admitting that, not to mention she's a hardcore Ruffy shipper), but she says as much as she hated the idea of Buffy and Angel being together especially after the curse revelation, she did see that they loved each other. She didn't see that with Spike and Buffy, at least on Buffy's side.
I however do see that they loved each other. I was clear when she told him she needs him to be around or when she went to him instead of Xander after the fight in First Date, leading Wood to see there is a connection between them. Giles even believed that she had feelings for Spike.
For the hardcore Bangels and my mother, the problem was the lack of "holding hands". Why not be with him? Why wait until he was about to die, to tell him you love him?
My answer to that would be times are different now. Buffy isn't so willing to fall into a relationship where she can't fathom the future. Also she was under a lot of strain in Season 7, it doesn't seem likely that she would have had a commited relationship with anyone. None of the above prove that Buffy didn't love Spike, just because she didn't go all "Bangelly" over him. The circumstances and the people are different.
Spike Earned a Soul!
Which I always thought was extraordinary for a soulless vampire to do, but as harsh as it seems it doesn't necessarily mean that their relationship will go well. Buffy herself seemed unsure about a future with Spike. This wasn't exclusive to him, but love isn't necessarily a case of "I'll do this, this, this, this, this and this and we'll live happily ever after". I have no doubt about the love Spike has for Buffy but a healthy relationship can only happen if they both want it and the circumstances are right. Unless I was missing something, if Spike isn't cursed, what's keeping them apart? I believe Buffy's not ready to settle down yet, so who knows if the deeds of Spike, either soulless or soulled are enough to guarantee eternal love for the blond pair?
AR
I think I may have cracked the issue with this, but I'm still a little confused. For me the nature of this is more emotional than logical. Both vampires have done FAR worse in their day but having someone say "I love you" then doing something like that makes it all the more jarring.
However if we look at it clinically, IMO, there are no metaphysical differences between Spike and Angel(us), but there are psychological differences. Either way, though I wouldn't blame either vampire for the deeds before they got souls.
My theory is that Bangel seems more pure in a way. When Angel lost his soul, Bangel effectively finished. They were established as emenies because Buffy was on the side of good and Angelus was on the side of evil. While Angelus was obsessed with Buffy and she found it difficult to kill the demon with her lover's face, they were not in a relationship nor did they love each other.
This is what makes the issue seem heated because as I've always said, the lines are more defined with Bangel and Angelus never said he loved Buffy or anyone when he commited his evil.
Perhaps, certain fans see Spike's evil as more of a betrayal because it appears he can love. For certain purists it's not a beautiful exception but a moral mess. His ability to love will put him under greater scrutiny because if he's "something different" then what does it mean if he does something that humans consider wrong? In this case it's even harder to argue amorality in the sense of not being conscious of right and wrong but Spike as an intelligent being would know the difference.
This isn't only about chastising Spike but also Buffy. Bangels sometimes contend that arguing that Buffy instigated the power play of abusive passion is just as bad because all it demonstrates, is that the relationship in Season 6 wasn't healthy. We also bring up the "lines" because it isn't clear whether and when the two of them are together. They would argue that Spike's AR happened on Spuffy time, but if not then it's arguable that Season 7 is not really Spuffy in terms of a romantic liason, but more of hinting towards it of sorts, at best. Angelus' abuse was clearly off Bangel time because Bangel had the good sense stop before it happened.
Whether we argue double standards or difference of circumstance, the arguments are still emotionally based. The fact that Spike's seems similar with or without a soul doesn't mean he is and he shouldn't be blamed for this apparent consistency of self. If the soul is such a big deal, then it should make a difference. As I said in another thread, forgiveness is an act of grace and Buffy has to right to
forgive both vampires. In fact for me, it's not even a case of forgiveness as she seems to see them more like victims of circumstance than monsters by choice. She accepts them because of the soul.
Spike Is The More Recent Lover
I honestly don't think it's holding much water. First love and most recent love only means something if she is with one of them, but she isn't. I'm seeing very little evidence that she wans to be with Spike or Angel. I'm doubting whether she has actually baked. Sure she loves them, maybe equally, but this has to be coupled with a desire to be with the person in question. This is one of the reason I reserve my judgement. It also depends on how we
regard Spuffy and Bangel.
