Dead Man's Party-Did the scoobs act wrongly?

Xin Rong

Killed by Dissertation
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Did anyone else think the scoobies, particuarly xander and willow where too harsh on buffy, i mean if she wants to run away then thats her progative- she just killed the love of her life, her mum threw her out and she was wanted for murder and expelled, i think i would have ran too.
 
I thought they were way too harsh. I mean come on what she had to go through was ridiculous. Of course running away from one's problems won't solve anything. But she was young. Then in sesaon 7 when she targeted a problem head on she was persecuted for it. For friends they acted pretty cold in Empty Places too. But hey no one's perfect.
 
M
*Maria*
So true. And you said just about what I was going to say....
Yes and no. They should have tried to be more understanding, but so should Buffy. She was gone for months, and didn't even bother to give them a call! They had no idea if they were ever gonna see her again, or if she was even alive. I'd be pretty mad myself! And also, we don't know everything that happened that summer between the scoobies. Seemed to me like Wilow had been really upset the whole summer cos she worried so much about Buffy. We all know how protective Xander can be over Willow, and I think that was part of the reason he was so mad.
They all seemed to be avoiding the topic at first, trying not to talk about it. I think they were worried they'd yell at her. But when Willow saw Buffy packing again, she just couldn't hold it in anymore. And when it had first started, Xander couldn't hold back anymore either.
And I also think it was good for them to get it out. If they hadn't, it might have been lying there underneath the surface, and in the long run could have ruined their friendship. Noone should ever bottle up their feelings!
 
i agree they where a bit cold, but i do think she deserved what she got in series 7 and she has done things to them 2 but in homecoming i think they where way too tight on her!!!lol
 
JustAnnie said:
Yes and no. They should have tried to be more understanding, but so should Buffy. She was gone for months, and didn't even bother to give them a call! They had no idea if they were ever gonna see her again, or if she was even alive. I'd be pretty mad myself! And also, we don't know everything that happened that summer between the scoobies. Seemed to me like Wilow had been really upset the whole summer cos she worried so much about Buffy. We all know how protective Xander can be over Willow, and I think that was part of the reason he was so mad.
They all seemed to be avoiding the topic at first, trying not to talk about it. I think they were worried they'd yell at her. But when Willow saw Buffy packing again, she just couldn't hold it in anymore. And when it had first started, Xander couldn't hold back anymore either.
And I also think it was good for them to get it out. If they hadn't, it might have been lying there underneath the surface, and in the long run could have ruined their friendship. Noone should ever bottle up their feelings!
I agree. I was just about to mention that Buffy had left the Scoobies with all of the slaying duties, and certainly no human is built that way, only the Slayer is. It's just as though she had left her responsiblilities to everyone else, causing their lives to go haywire and such. She certainly was being selfish, but there is also the part of me that knows where she is coming from. Losing just about everything that was dear to her: her mother, Angel, her love, all down the drain. But she should've handled things differently, at least.
 
H
heartsforDB
it's like u took the words right out of my mouth
Well they passed judgement upon her without even knowing the entire situation, so yes I do think they were WAY too harsh on her.
 
But still, think of it from their point of view. What if your friend, the one and only Slayer (as of then), left, leaving you, as well as three other friends basically the fate of the world. Sunnydale was above the hellmouth, Buffy was gone, you really think that they would be happy to risk their lives every night defending the hellmouth and the rest of Sunnydale? I know I sure wouldn't. She didn't even give them an explanation that she left, nor did she really even say goodbye, all she left was a note to Joyce. That must've been painful for the Scoobies as well, that their friend didn't even bother to say goodbye to them.
 
Calvary said:
But still, think of it from their point of view. What if your friend, the one and only Slayer (as of then), left, leaving you, as well as three other friends basically the fate of the world. Sunnydale was above the hellmouth, Buffy was gone, you really think that they would be happy to risk their lives every night defending the hellmouth and the rest of Sunnydale? I know I sure wouldn't. She didn't even give them an explanation that she left, nor did she really even say goodbye, all she left was a note to Joyce. That must've been painful for the Scoobies as well, that their friend didn't even bother to say goodbye to them.


As far as I'm concerned, the only person Buffy had to answer to was Joyce. And considering Buffy's emotional state at the time she left, it is understandable why she didn't say anything when she left.

Also, why did the Scoobies bother to take up Slaying duties in the first place? Who asked them to? Slaying should not have been a duty for Buffy. It should have been a matter of choice.
 
T
tone
(Y)
LadyLavinia said:
As far as I'm concerned, the only person Buffy had to answer to was Joyce. And considering Buffy's emotional state at the time she left, it is understandable why she didn't say anything when she left.

Also, why did the Scoobies bother to take up Slaying duties in the first place? Who asked them to? Slaying should not have been a duty for Buffy. It should have been a matter of choice.

Wow I kind of agree to you.

Especially the first part about Joyce. Because your right, Buffy doesn't have to tell her friends squat. And she shouldn't have because they were jerks and shes too good for that crap.

Though I believe the Scoobs acted righteous when they tried to take on the slaying. Even though it was really stupid because they were all just weak mortals. They had no power to use and if they had kept on doing it, they most likely would have fell victim to a sharp tooth.

And I also agree with you on the point of Buffy's choice.

Just because your embued with the power of the slayer doesn't necessarily mean that you have to. Buffy knew that, she knew she could run away and escape her destiny. But in the end, she always did the right thing.

Granted the world would be really screwed without the superslayer that is Buffy, but she did not have to put her life on the line every night.
 
I too agree that they were way too harsh on Buffy. Yeah, they may have been upset and angry that she left without saying anything and she haven't contacted them but they really should have made her feel welcome when she came home, so she wasn't tempted into running away again. It was also rude when they turned what was meant to be a intimate dinner with friends into a full on party.
 
J
Jacklyn
I definitely agree about the party! While watching, I found myself asking what was wrong with them!
This is a sticky matter. I think there was blame on both sides. Buffy should have let everyone else know that she was at least okay, but the Scoobies were a bit harsh also.

I like that fact that as soon as the attack starts, they start acting like a well-oiled team and that everything was forgiven after that.
 
phoenixrising said:
This is a sticky matter. I think there was blame on both sides. Buffy should have let everyone else know that she was at least okay, but the Scoobies were a bit harsh also.

I disagree that Buffy should have told them (definately not Xander.) He broke trust with Buffy when he failed to tell her that Willow was going to try to do the spell. Buffy had to suck it up, take responsibility, and save the world. I think she deserved her alone time after having to kill her lover and being lied to by one of her best friends, plus the whole Joyce thing. Even Joyce pushed the boundaries. She threatened Buffy to try to make her fall in line, and in the end her bluff was called. I have very little sympathy for anyone but Willow, and even then, it seems in relation to Buffy's problems, Willow's are not that bad and she should have a little perspective.
 
Yes, I thought they were too harsh on her. Obviously there was a reason that she ran away and though they were upset they should have been more sensitive to her feelings.
 
i really did think they were way too harsh on her. they had no right, certainly not xander, to act the way they did because they didn't know the whole story.
sure, now you can say - so wasn't that reason enough to behave like they did? well i don't think so. it's buffy. the three of them have been through just about enough to know to trust her, to know that if she took a step as drastic as to run away, she had a darn good reason behind that. considering what she went through and considering they didn't try (enough) to really understand her... they had absolutely no right.
 
I think they were trying to be sensitive to her feelings. I think that's why they were avoiding talking about it, and why they made the party, so that it wouldn't come up. Maybe they were scared they would yell at her, and make things worse.
I guess I side with them because I kinda understand what they went through...my bestfriend ran away, and I knew she had been through alot, but it was no excuse. She wasn't gone as long as Buffy, and I even almost knew where she was, and still I was worried sick. i just wanted her to call me and let me know she was ok! I could barely sleep at night because I didn't know what was going on with her, and all I wanted was for her to tell me what was wrong, and where she was. And I never told her how angry I felt, or how scared I was...and I hardly talk to her anymore. I think that's the reason. We have so many unsolved problems. When the scoobies yelled at Buffy, they got it all out, and things were solved. If they hadn't said anything about how they felt, it could easily have ruined their friendship!
 
i think there are other ways to solve problems.
and i also think that making a party and inviting strangers to avoid personal conversaation about personal matters is what it is - avoiding.
 
I thought Xander's behaviour was worse than Willow's. It seems that Xander and Buffy have the most explosive relationship. He always argues his point with her more than the others. Willow was a little cruel when she stood Buffy up at the cafe. But I can see why they were so angry with her. They didn't know she'd had to kill Angel, and there was nothing physically wrong with her. To them Buffy had been completely selfish by not even letting them know she was alive.
 
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