Discussion of 8.12 "Wolves at the Gate Part 1" - Released 03/05/07 (Dark Horse)

I think Joss was riding a thin line with the sex thing. On the one hand, Buffy was 17. She wasn't yet legal. She was in a relationship with a man 247 years older than she. It was a generally codependent, unhealthy relationship (beautiful, but still unhealthy. Please don't jump on me, Bangels). Joss can't really encourage that type of behavior in young, impressionable girls. As he said, the idea wasn't to tell teenagers "You must boff! Boff now, do it!" But he was trying to keep from telling them that having sex was a crime bad enough to be killed over. Therefore, of course there had to be consequences (they were good for the story, too), but they didn't have to be fatal. Buffy had sex LOTS with Riley, and while the relationship ended badly, it was due to their own emotional problems, not that they'd been having sex. Most of the bad stuff Buffy encountered while sleeping with Spike was because it was an unhealthy relationship, too, but also because she was keeping it a secret from her friends, which is an unhealthy lifestyle choice.
 
Rogue Hunter-The way the relationship ended with Riley was no different than the way many other relationships end where one partner has cheated. It was devastating and hurtful yes, but by the end of Into the Woods she was completely prepared to forgive him, in essence making her 'over it' so-to-speak. Those issues paled in comparison with the realization she wanted to be with him.

With Angel, she had no one to blame but herself (in her eyes) for what he had become, every evil act he commited was directly linked to her, every person he slaughtered she felt accountable for. And then when she finally got Angel back she had to impale him with a sword, sending him to an eternity in hell. All of this was horrific and devastating enough to make her want to quit her life completely. She left her home, her family, her friends over what happened as it was too much for her to deal with at the same time as facing her friends. That wasn't the case with Riley was it- she was upset, yes, but she strived to move on and was very much able to, because it ended in a normal relationship ending way, not like the horror that was the end of Buffy and Angel.

Oh and Blondie Bear- I totally agree with everything you posted 🙂
 
Thats true but both relationships happened at two very different points in her life.
Angel was very much when she was a child, but Riley forced her to really look at herself. In the end I think she pursued him (in the chopper) because she felt she had to try, but I don't think her heart would have really been in it.
Spike hit it on the head with her. She did need a little monster in her man. She was just starting to ask herself why she needed it.
 
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