Thank you for all the replies, I think I'm getting a better understanding on the issues people have with this.
@EVIL UU
I don't believe it is. Buffy's suicide in "The Gift", Buffy attempting to murder Faith, activation of the potentials and Buffy's plan in "Chosen", Willow brainwashing Tara and other scenes spawned far bigger discussions than this one.
Fair enough, this just seemed the most talked about / disliked to me when looking through. I'm glad it's not an isolated thing.
The subject is not an issue. It's not the first rape attempt ( that takes place in the 6th episode ) it's not even the first rape. It's the execution that's the problem.
Is this Xander / Buffy in the pack? Because I see this as a comparable incident that doesn't seem to generate the same discussion and bad feeling. Xander while possessed attempts to force himself onto Buffy. Buffy fights him off. When Xander returns to normal Buffy doesn't hold it against him and you also don't see her dealing with any feelings about it afterwards. Now admittedly there's isn't much focus on the affects on Xander like we get with Spike but it seems Buffy not talking about either incident is quite consistent and maybe just how she copes with / handles the situation.
The scene doesn't make sense because of the following reasons:
1. Buffy is the slayer. Spike is incapable of physically overpowering her. It's impossible.
I haven't seen the episode in a little while but as far as I recall she does overpower him eventually which is why it ends where it does. Also don't we see throughout the show that Buffy can be overpowered at various times? No doubt a fully on her game Buffy is far too much for Spike in a straight fight but isn't she off guard and distracted at the start of the scene?
2. Willow and Tara are in the house. The only thing that protects Spike from being eviscerated by two pissed off witches is bloody plot armour.
Now again I'll take your word on this because it's out of my memory. So I mean this shows Spike is doing something awful and not in any way thinking about the consequences to him or anyone else. That seems plausible to me. Also I'm not sure if it's plot armour. Agreed if Buffy shouts for help and reveals all straight away then that's it for Spike. I'm just not convinced that Buffy dealing with it herself and not going straight for help is implausible. Don't all victims react differently, for every person who'd shout isn't there another who wouldn't?
To add an insult to injury, Buffy's trauma is never mentioned, even though she will not go to bed with anybody for the next 3 years. We have a rape attempt followed by 3 years without any sex or intimacy whatsoever and this is never addressed. It's just garbage.
Now this seems to be the main problem I'm seeing that everyone has and I totally understand this now. Just to take what you're saying though, could there be a way of looking at those 3 years without sex and intimacy as her reaction to what's happened? We don't see her talking about it but do we not see an effect on her anyway?
@Black Eye Guy
Well I think there's three answers to that depending on who's answering, I've seen people say that because they didn't want to see Spike put through it and have it be part of his character. Theres people who just dont want it in the show, and my own opinion, that I dont have a problem with the story, but it wasn't properly handled.
Interesting ways of looking at it. I don't really understand the first 2 options but certainly see where everyone is coming from with the handling. I mean as part of Spike's character, he's a vampire, he has been killing and most likely raping since being turned. Same sort of thing for not wanting it in the show. Like Evil UU says it's already in the show.
@Black Eye Guy &
@Lyri
Well I think this is just opinion, I think a lot of people would see attempted/rape as a worse crime then murder because of how traumatizing it can be, something that was ignored on the show.
To most people - myself included - rape is the most violent, invasive, damaging, soul destroying thing that could happen to a person, and I'm not just talking about women here, men get raped, too. This is someone FORCING themselves inside you, someone taking away your agency and turning you into a THING for them to use and discarding you afterwards. I really don't give a damn about Spike's so-called agenda here - he was attempting to take away Buffy's agency, he didn't care what she was telling him, he wanted what he wanted and he was going to get it whether she liked it or not.
It is absolutely the worst thing Buffy has EVER been through. This was someone she thought she could trust, someone who had been by her side and fought with her, saved the world with her, looked after her sister, her mother, protected her friends, and he was trying to force himself on her in the most vile way possible, regardless of the fact that she was saying 'no', that she was screaming, crying, BEGGING him to get off of her and didn't stop until she literally gathered all the strength she could find and kicked him across the room. Only then did Spike stop. Because she made him.
I think maybe this is where I'm struggling and just have a different opinion to others. I'm in full agreement about how bad and damaging rape can be, to men and women as you say. Everything you both say is obviously true and makes complete sense. My issue I guess is by saying that it is the worst thing and worse than murder. A rape victim is at the end of the ordeal still alive, they still have a chance. I appreciate the huge damage caused and that some will never be able to come to terms with it but there are also a whole lot of survivors out there who go on to have happy lives. For a murder victim that is it. No more chances for happiness or anything else. I feel by saying rape is a greater crime than murder it implies that rape victims are in a worse situation than being dead, devaluing their life somewhat and that makes me uncomfortable. Also if this were how the crimes were seen in law then it would suggest that once a rape has happened the attacker would face no greater consequences if they then murdered the victim, again I'm not comfortable with this.
Buffy's reaction to the AR is never, ever addressed from her POV, it's forgotten about in favor of Spike's reaction to getting a soul. That is NOT okay. It's pretty much the worst thing this show and these writers have ever done.
Again this seems to be the main issue and I completely understand now why you and others feel the issue was handled poorly. I'm doing a rewatch and will have to pay attention to the episodes after this happens and get a fresher perspective. All I'd say is that perhaps being quiet and not close to anyone afterwards is Buffy's reaction and way of dealing with it, even if it's not a particularly healthy approach. I imagine everyone would react differently.
