I like the way you think . I a Spuffy myself but I also say you made a great argument for both sides . So like you said they both loved her butI’m not confortable with the idea of quantify love. I’m a Bangel so I want to say Angel loves her more but in reality I just think Spike and Angel love her in their own way and she loved both of them in different ways. I guess a Bangel could say that Angel give up humanity for her and choose to leave for her own good. And I guess a Spuffy could say that Spike fought for having a soul for her. Both vampires made heroic sacrifices. I have the feeling that to say one love her more Than the others dismiss the importance of what they did to prove that they love her. So I don’t want to choose and I don’t believe there is an acceptable answer to that question.
Angel and Buffy were a couple and were dating at the time of the conversation in Earshot. I think, and have always thought, he was referring to Buffy when Angel stated: "I mean, there's no comparison. In two hundred forty-three years I have loved exactly one person." There has never been any confirmation that Angel was not referring to Buffy. I doubt Angel was lying even not intending to. when he stated: I mean, there's no comparison. In 243 years I have loved exactly one person." and meant Buffy. Buffy and Angel have been with each other for part of those 243 years. Angel has also told Buffy he loved her especially when he broke up with her. If Angel didn't confirm that to Buffy it was probably because it was unnecessary. If Angel is repressing a memory it could be the memory of killing his sister Kathy after he became a vampire. Besides Angel is supposed to remember everything.The Earshot remark - I think it's a lie. Not a deliberate lie on Angel's part but a lie nonetheless. In A11 it's clear he loved his sister Kathy (a good girl); it's clear she puts him under a mandate to remember her (to never forget her); it's clear he's repressed the memory because it's too painful. It's clear there's a connection between his love for Kathy and Buffy (and I'm not talking incest). His memories of Kathy return in disguised form (definitely with regard to Buffy and Fred; I'm not sure about Cordy). Earshot - "the range or distance over which one can hear or be heard." Just because we can't hear something doesn't mean it wasn't said. When we talk about "voices from the past" they're not actually real voices...etc.etc. They're usually to do with repressed/suppressed/forgotten or unrecorded history.
ANGEL Kissing her meant nothing. I don't want a bad girl. I've done that before. I've lived a long time Buffy, and I'm past that. I've been with dozens of girls like her. More.
BUFFY Oh this honesty stuff is funnn.
ANGEL I mean, there's no comparison. In two-hundred-forty-three years, I've loved exactly one person.
BUFFY Ohh...it is me right?
ANGEL Next time, just ask.
Look at the above. He doesn't want a bad girl (Kathy's a good girl. Liam's father bars Liam from seeing her in case he corrupts her. He tells Liam his evil side will always come out). Buffy comments on his honesty. He's being honest but not telling the truth (he can't remember). "There's no comparison" - umm...yes there is. Angel evades confirmation when Buffy asks if it's her. I'm not belittling Angel's feelings. Spike and Buffy's feelings are similarly impacted by repression.
In fact, I have a hunch the most "authentic (not really the right word)" love Buffy feels (ie. not based on repression) is her love for Willow, Dawn and Xander. I'd have to think about it. Her love for Joyce is also different.
You need to read the comics (well A11) to make sense of it. You'll hate it - I'm probably the only person in the world who finds it interesting . I didn't mean that Angel was deliberately lying. To cut a long story short, I think he falls in love with Buffy because she unconsciously reminds him of his sister. (They do a similar thing with Spike. They deliberately cast an actress who resembled an older Buffy to play his mum. I read that somewhere. And Wood is attracted to Buffy because she was a slayer like his mum). He killed his sister and repressed the memory (kinda like PTS). It's quite interesting because his sister tries to give him a crucifix (he refuses it) so she gives him a ring to remember her by. Doesn't Angel give the same gifts to Buffy? The last thing his sister says is "Now that you have this, you want forget me. Not ever". Angel replies, "You can count on that", which is another way of saying "I will remember you". So, in effect, he could be saying these words to either of them. It doesn't take anything away from Bangel but does, I think, tell us something about Angel's state of mind.I have not nor ever have read the comics so I have no idea what you were referring to at the first of your post.