I think it’s neverendingly hilarious how you twist the narrative to suit your position. Angel accepted the oracles offer to take back the day TO SAVE BUFFY’S LIFE. Did you miss that part? How would you or the audience have felt of Angel had walked away from the comversation with the oracles where they told him that she would die sooner if he remained human? He recognizes the importance of Buffy’s life is more important than anything else and he can’t be the reason she dies. And that’s a bad thing? Do you honestly think an ensouled Spike would not have done the same thing? Give his life in exchange for Buffy’s?this was just after he'd taken away 1000% of her agency by taking back that one 'perfect day' because he decided he'd rather rescue her than be her partner. Buffy was quite capable of having a say in that. I think the truth was Angel didn't know what to do with human weakness, and ran screaming back to take back the day (and of course, if he'd stopped being a demon, there would have been no series, so they had to do it) but... he took any choice from her. THAT IS NOT A RELATIONSHIP AT ALL.
Relationships have MUTUALITY.
They are between two people. He didn't give her any say. Yes, it was his life, and he had a right to want to go back to being a vampire... but he didn't even let her keep the memory... b/c apparently she was too fragile to remember having a good day -- but somehow he wasn't.
And again in your assertion that Angel doesn’t allow Buffy to keep the memories, when exactly was that offer presented to him? The oracles made him a deal, there was no option where he specifically asked that Buffy not remember.
If you are critical of Angel for not telling Buffy about the day that never happened that is a different issue entirely. But either way what purpose does it serve for Buffy to remember something that never even happened? Something the oracles deem “a burden”? When Buffy was killing Angel in s2, she spared him knowing he was about to die so they could share in some peaceful moments before she killed him. Buffy talks in IWRY about how she wouldn’t tell Angel about chocolate because he couldn’t enjoy it as a vamp. Angel telling Buffy that they could have had it all it it would only cost her life, serves no purpose but to cause her pain (I suppose the other purpose it would serve would be to explain to her that he had sacrificed the humanity he had longed for so that she would live... but that kind of “look what I did for you” is really more Spike’s speed.)
Did you not hear the part where Angel said he would stay as long as Buffy needed him? And the part where she told him to leave because of their continued feelings for each other? Did you want Angel to ignore Buffy’s wishes and stay despite her instructions of him to go? Weren’t you just talking about the importance of respecting Buffy’s agency?Then there's Forever... well, he came, he comforted, he left. Maybe he should have stayed and helped out with the worse threat she'd ever faced?