Question: When people debate Angel vs. Spike, is it who they find to be the better character overall, or specifically who they prefer in relation to Buffy?
Personally, I came to my fandom of Buffy through Angel the series. I had been aware of Buffy, but only caught a little bit of it before Angel came on -- and given that, I hadn't really gotten to know BtVS. So it may surprise you that I came to love the relationship between Buffy and Spike, and slowly cooled on my initial affection for the relationship between Buffy and Angel. Understand that I still like Angel -- if you read my stories, you'll find that I actually explore him rather a lot and love his character... but I came to see that he was wrong for Buffy... also, I came to see that he didn't FIGHT for Buffy.
How can I ship them, when Angel doesn't?
He moves on. He NEVER tries to get his soul anchored so he can be with her. He does care about her, but I came to see that he'd put her on a pedestal where she was supposed to remain... pure and a symbol of redemption and light... 'entitled to an ideal of normal' that he 'couldn't possibly give her' -- all of which strike me as singularly 'romantic' (in the romance novel, fairytale, sort of way).
That is not a relationship. That is worship, at best. It is inherently static, and relationships are not static b/c people aren't static. They need different things at different times. They aren't ideals. They aren't perfect. And while he may have met her need when she needed someone who made her feel alive and as though she had her 'one chance at love' (when she herself was but a girl, and had such fairytale notions AND expected to die very, very soon... so the motif of Buffy at 16/17 is 'seize the day' rather than 'build a relationship' that changes and struggles and grows.
Could it have grown? Maybe. But as someone else said (in a different discussion, I think) Angel left. While he did stay in touch, it was barely...
He came back during the first Thanksgiving to 'rescue' Buffy, while hiding from her -- not giving her any say in things... And she was, justifiably furious.
(this was just after he'd taken away 1000% of her agency by taking back that one 'perfect day' because he decided he'd rather rescue her than be her partner. Buffy was quite capable of having a say in that. I think the truth was Angel didn't know what to do with human weakness, and ran screaming back to take back the day (and of course, if he'd stopped being a demon, there would have been no series, so they had to do it) but... he took any choice from her. THAT IS NOT A RELATIONSHIP AT ALL.
Relationships have MUTUALITY.
They are between two people. He didn't give her any say. Yes, it was his life, and he had a right to want to go back to being a vampire... but he didn't even let her keep the memory... b/c apparently she was too fragile to remember having a good day -- but somehow he wasn't. That is disrespectful to her as a person.
And of course, he tangled with Riley. He had given up any say in her life. Who she was or wasn't seeing or sleeping with wasn't any of his business. HE had made it so. He'd decided for them that they couldn't be together. He hadn't discussed it with her after exploring all the possibilities for finding a way to get his soul cemented. So... he took himself out of the running.
At the time of IWRY, i felt heartbroken for THEM b/c they were so lovely together. Funny, touching, real... adorable. I LOVED them that day. Then Angel betrayed Buffy. Betrayed it all. Now, I just feel disappointed in Angel. And annoyed on Buffy's behalf that Angel had 'fixed things for her' -- just like he did for his friends when he took THEIR memories -- and ended them up trapped in the place they most hated in the world b/c he had to 'save his son' by removing who his son was. (that one was probably justified -- but the price was the life of all his friends -- b/c Wolfram and Hart has a perpetuity clause and was a trap and Angel knew that. They were trapped by his weakness.
He agreed to it and changed reality so they'd be OK with agreeing with it (they didn't know of his little deal with the devils at W&H) they trusted him.
Then there's Forever... well, he came, he comforted, he left. Maybe he should have stayed and helped out with the worse threat she'd ever faced? He wanted to save her, right? Now was the time... with both Spike and Angel on the field of battle, I betcha Buffy doesn't have to jump!! Maybe he could have taken Dawn away... Maybe he and Dawn and Buffy could have gone one way, and the others could have gone the other way and Glory's date would have come and gone and she would have weakened, and voila, Buffy not dead!
Anyway, didn't happen, move on.
Let's look at Spike and Buffy for a moment. Spike can be an irritating git. He's impulsive and he's got a boatload of crazy... but from the time he first meets Buffy's mom, he bonds with her. He makes a pact with the slayer even when they are ENEMIES and he sticks with it. He plays straight even as an enemy.
He's comitted to Dru. Why is that important? Because it wasn't he who made Dru, or made her crazy. But she needed him, and so he stayed. Yes, he loves her, but he's a carer. He cared for his terminally ill mum, when he could have been off making his way in the world and making a good marriage. He was a true blue romantic in... kind of a milquetoast in life, as we see...
but those kinds of people make good husbands.
Liam was a womanizing (whoremonger, actually) drunkard who got off on getting off - he was full at rage at his family even before his death. It's no wonder he kills them all in a vicious rage. So... fundamentally, Liam vs William is a no brainer.
Liam is a hot, bad man... but he's actually a pretty vile person. Angel is very ruthless, probably as a result. Angel is better than Liam though. That is why I care. Want him happy. Redeemed. Fulfilled. Just don't think he is right for Buffy - or that Buffy is right for him. He needs a woman who will talk back. someone like Cordy. Someone who is fiery.
To use a metaphor, Buffy is water - she flows. Angel is earth - he absorbs the water. Spike is air, he stirs things up. Cordelia had the personality to light Angel up, purify him.. Confront him. Emotionally Buffy needs someone to lift her up. Spike does that, step by step. She can't do the work needed to dig out the best of Angel. Cordy can.
It isn't who is better, it who is better for whom.
Spike is out of control as a vampire. he lives in the present. Thing about that is that people like that don't plan well b/c spontaneity is everything. But the good thing about that is that they are inherently adaptable...
Which brings me to Buffy. Buffy comes to believe she's bad at love. Angel left her. Parker used her. The 'normal' guys just couldn't handle her life at all. Riley could not deal with her power or that she might at times be stronger than him, or self contained... She had to be have the right feelings he needed her to have.
Is it any wonder she turns to Spike when she's worried about her mum? He's not gonna ask her to open up when she's not ready... With Riley, she had to hold back, and adjust herself to his need to be the alpha male. Problem with this is that Buffy is actually the alpha in the relationship. I don't think Riley can handle this. Not sure Angel could either, but we never see them in an adult partnership, so it's difficult to say.
What we do see with Spike is that he can fight with her. He can fight for her. He listens. He advises. Finally, he recognizes he is useless as he is and he puts his life on the line without a promise of anything. He earns his soul.
I unfortunately did not come to Buffy until six years ago. Prior to watching the show, I was aware of its positive reputation and all-time-great status, but was largely unaware of anything else about it aside from two things - I knew that Angel was a vampire, and I knew that there was also a character named Spike and that there was competition between the two, presumably regarding Buffy herself. Because the Angel/Spike debate transcends the series, I went into it expecting some lame sort of Twilight/Vampire Diaries situation, where a torn Buffy has to choose between her two loves. Thankfully, because I've never really been much of the shippery/swoony type of fan about stuff, that never happens. At no point in either show is Buffy ever torn having to choose between Angel or Spike, thankgoodness. I mean, I don’t think there is anything wrong with having a preference (I know I do) or comparing them, but until I finished the show and started looking into the fandom, it never occurred to me to pit them against each other, because I don’t really think they’re intended to be pitted that way. I feel like the intensity of the argument gives the wrong impression of the series, and kind of undermines the show and Buffy herself, because it’s not really about that at all.
That being said, for the sake of the argument, I am admittedly Team Angel on both counts. 😛 (Though I do understand and accept that he and Buffy can’t be together, and I do think he left Sunnydale at the right time.) It wasn’t until my second watch-through two summers ago that I developed my fondness for him, and for his relationship with Buffy. Not really in a romantic, shippy way, ‘cause like I said, that’s not really my style, just a sentimental one. He’s such a good guy, like the big brother of the world (as well as being Buffy’s best villain, imo). And I love his relationship with Buffy, not just in the first three seasons, but their friendship and how it continues even after he leaves Sunnydale. (I love how they have him come back to see her in “Forever”, and how the writers still had them go see each other after she comes back in Season 6 even though they couldn’t do an actual crossover since they were now on two different networks. I feel like most shows would have just not bothered at that point, but that they did shows a respect for the characters that warms my heart.) I don’t DISLIKE Spike because of this, and I do think that he also is a great character, and arguably the more charismatic and endlessly quotable of the two, but at the end of the day, if asked, I am Team Angel all the way.
I do think that the vampire wars thing is kind of pointless... at least HOSTILITY about it. I think EVERYONE has a favorite pairing... and since I like Angel a lot, I can understand why others might too, though I think the relationship is over... it's not evil or bad... just not the best one of the available options.
As a fanfic writer, I've actually paired Buffy with people other than either Angel or Spike rather a lot... so I'm actually kind of openminded about the whole thing. Teal'c from Stargate appeals to me a lot. Daniel Jackson also from Stargate appeals too. I've even paired Buffy with another 'bad guy' -- The once evil Dan Scott from One Tree Hill. But for Buffyverse stories, Spike will always get my vote... because I see theirs as a relationship with future and present possibilities. Not a grand romance on a pedestal, but a real, messy, funny supportive and caring relationship. Which is what most of us need in life.
Peace,
Blue
